Tim Torkildson's Clown Alley: August 2017

Thursday, August 31, 2017

The Fountain of all Law

“Our whole social order could self-destruct over the obsession with freedom disconnected from responsibility . . . “ Boyd K. Packer.

Let freedom ring, but not extol

Practices that kill the soul.

Privilege that lacks restraint

Society will surely taint.

My rights I cherish constantly,

But they might be debauchery

If I don’t turn my face to God

To keep from thinking that is flawed.

As ‘natural’ as I am now,

I trust the Lord and ev’ry vow

He asks me to obey with awe --

He is the fountain of all law.

Was Picasso's Blue Period Cured by Fennel Oil?

Pablo Picasso was one of the titans of Twentieth Century art. His paintings blazed the trail for every other painter from the years 1901 to 1953. All artists, of whatever stripe, owe something to Picasso’s elastic and protean spirit and work.

Yet this larger-than-life and pugnacious man fell into a deep depression in the year 1901, stemming, in part, from the death of his closest Spanish friend, Carlos Casagemas. His suicide plunged Picasso into a spiritual and artistic crisis that art historians now call his ‘Blue Period.’

For four years, Picasso painted only doleful subjects in a monochrome of blue and blue-green. He drank heavily and became carelessly promiscuous. His friends and his art dealers despaired of pulling him out of his funk, and his work began to lose its appeal in the French market.

One day, so the story goes, Picasso met his friend, the journalist Max Jacob, at a Parisian bistro for a drink, and became intrigued by Jacob’s use of a few drops of fennel oil in a glass of water as a substitute for the highly toxic alcoholic absinthe that Picasso was drinking. Jacob explained to Picasso that his doctor had told him to quit drinking alcohol completely and use fennel leaves in salads and fennel oil in water to relieve his fatigue and melancholy. It would also, the doctor promised, significantly improve his digestion.

Picasso impulsively threw his glass of absinthe into the street and began using fennel oil, giving up all alcohol except for an occasional glass of Spanish wine when with friends. This coincided with the start of his famous ‘Rose Period’, when his painting began to take on the heady colors of a carnival.

Was it the fennel oil that turned things around for Picasso? He never sought any medical or spiritual help for his deep depression during those four years. Those who knew him best during those years were at a loss to explain what finally brought him up out of the depths -- except for Max Jacob. He went on to a successful journalistic career in France and then Canada, and always claimed that what saved Picasso from becoming just a footnote in Art History was his use of fennel oil to fight off bilious depression.

Today fennel oil is recognized as a safe and reliable appetite suppressant, especially for the sweet tooth. It is used on the skin to enhance smoothness and hydration. And its’ licorice-like flavor is a favorite with French bakers in the making of pastries and by French doctors for curing dyspepsia.

For further information, and for an absolutely free, no obligation, sample of three of the most commonly used oils, including lemon and lavender, contact Wellness Advocate Amy Snyder at http://bit.ly/2vHgrH6 Please put your name and address in her Comments box. She has used these superb essential oils for years herself and will be delighted to share her experiences with you in a professional and friendly manner!

NOTICE TO READERS: The information contained in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any emotional or physical condition, illness, or injury. The author, publishers, and distributors of this blog shall have no liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any and all alleged damage, loss, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this work. This work contains suggested uses of oils based on acceptable dosage amounts recommended by the manufacturer. The author makes no claim to have verified or validated these suggestions. The readers must validate acceptable dosage amounts from the manufacturer before application. The information in this book is in no way intended as a substitute for medical advice. We recommend that all readers obtain medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional before using essential oils for any reason.

My Supermarket

A supermarket is a place of wonder to this guy.

Although the prices there continue reaching for the sky.

I’m not a big consumer of organic or free range --

Rather, I just like to see what’s au courant and strange.

Edamame beans now come in cans and frozen packs.

They look about as toothsome as a can of green Ajax.

Hormel still offers pigs feet in a bottle of clear brine --

King Oscar and his sardines on the shelf still do repine.

Varieties of cheeses have now multiplied ten-fold.

(But nobody has Limburger like in the days of old.)

Strolling down the aisles, I might get lost in reverie

at Morton’s Salt now boasting of its fresh impurity.

Don’t tell the doc I’m stocking up on frozen pizza, please.

Or that I’m buying pickled beets and bagels and cream cheese.

My eating habits are obscene, according to my kids --

But supermarkets ain’t a place to use the word ‘forbids!’

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

State by State, Columbus Day is Being Dropped

‘Columbus’ is a dirty word; don’t say it overloud --

Or you will be strung up by some exacerbated crowd.

The holiday we used to hold to celebrate his life

Is now a firecracker that explodes with lots of strife.

The poor guy cannot catch a break; the hist’ry books revile

All his dash and daring with a sea of petty bile.

I guess we don’t want heroes anymore for holidays.

Instead it’s demographics that we have to sing and praise.

Sigmund Freud's Aromatherapy

Sigmund Freud is the Austrian founder of psychoanalysis. His work is the foundation upon which most of Western mental health therapy is predicated. Late in life he became interested in the effects that certain scents and odors had on his patients. This began when he noticed that many patients responded quicker to his auto-suggestive analysis when they were in a pleasantly scented room, one in which flowers were placed or in which incense was being used.

Gradually, Freud introduced lavender-scented pillows for his women patients and sandalwood scented cushions for his male patients for their initial session -- to help calm them down and encourage them to open up to him about their fears and dreams.

In 1933 he wrote in his medical journal: “Many scents can be made useful when dispersed through the air in a constant pattern. I am especially intrigued with the volatile oils of bitter orange and myrrh right now; several drops in a cup of water, gently heated, has proven quite effective in subduing hysteria in adolescents. In conjunction with hypnosis, I believe that several of the volatile oils that up until now were used only by French perfumers could just as easily be turned to therapeutic effect in psychoanalysis.”

And so, in a sense, Sigmund Freud was one of the first practitioners of aromatherapy in Europe. Since his time the benefits of aromatherapy have been proven time after time. Essential oils play an important part in mood enhancement and spiritual focus. Today there are many licensed practitioners who can help you find the right combination of essential oil aromas to restore balance and provide emotional support.

Family of Boy Who Wears Dresses Sues New York Education Department

From the NYTimes: Leo is a boy, and since before he could speak, his parents said, he has gravitated toward things traditionally associated with girls — he loves pink and Barbies and anything that sparkles. He likes to wear dresses. His parents describe him as “gender expansive,”

I think a dress would bring relief upon a summer day

To any man or woman who finds slacks get in the way.

Keeping cool and comfy is not gender-based at all,

so I may buy a muumuu when I go down to the mall.

A Roman toga would be nice, perhaps a short plaid kilt --

ANYTHING that would prevent green mildew or slow wilt.

I only wish I had the guts to wear a bright sarong --

But it would take a bolt of cloth about a half mile long . . .

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Poison Pen from PETA

As regular readers of this blog know, I am currently curating a mail art project with the theme: “What I Saw at the Circus.” The mail art submissions so far have been, to say the least, fascinating, if not always clearly on topic. But today I received a submission that I think deserves special comment -- and reprobation.

Jeffrey Vauxhall, of Urbana Illinois, labeled his submission “What PETA Sees at the Circus.” In a postscript to his mail art, he explains that he is a ‘proud member’ of PETA, and especially proud of the fact that PETA was instrumental in driving RIngling Brothers out of business earlier this year. He went on to explain that he is a student at the University of Illinois -- Urbana Campus, and is studying political science in order to eventually run for public office and help shape policy that will, in his words, “give impetus to the Buddhist philosophy of exploiting no animal for pleasure, gain, or sustenance.”

I think my readers will agree with me that this young man’s reprehensible and intolerant mindset is exactly NOT the kind we want in government. Instead he should be locked up in a laughing academy . . . or encouraged to write harmless fantasy novels.

I find his artwork to be revolting, pandering to the lowest common denominator in humanity.

Here is the artwork in question. You be the judge.

The Libraries of my Youth

While other little boys daydreamed of pirates and space ships

I was at the library to look up words like ‘thrips.’

There was no internet back when the president was Ike --

If I needed info, to the books I’d have to hike.

But it was not a chore to me -- more like vacation time,

Sampling some H.G. Wells or Ogden Nash’s rhyme.

I’ve never lost my taste for books, although as a curator

I’d certainly be classified as just a second-rater.

I’ve got ‘em scattered o’er the floor and on the window sill;

They’re underneath the bed (and I have found one on the grill!)

As the years crowd round me, I take joy in any tome

That lets my body stay at rest yet gives my mind a roam.

If transmigration of the soul were not too much sectarian,

I’d love to come back as a full-time practicing librarian.

Not All Essential Oils are Created Equal: The Story of Macassar Oil

Thomas Hogg was a Victorian botanical collector who traveled extensively through the Far East searching for plants and trees and vines to bring back to America for the home garden. He is responsible for such beautiful varieties as the Japanese maple and the oriental snowbush being introduced into the United States. But he is also held responsible for introducing the nefarious kudzu vine, which has taken over millions of acres of productive agricultural land in the Deep South.

One of his worst blunders was the introduction of the Macassar oil tree from Indonesia to Florida and California. While the tree itself is not considered too invasive, the essential oil that it produces proved to be a controversial commodity for nearly a hundred years, from 1830 to 1930. American barbers combined Macassar oil with soapberry oil to produce a popular hair pomade for men. To stretch the pomade, some unscrupulous barbers adulterated their brand with kerosene and turpentine. The problem was that the two oils in combination clogged the follicle pores, which in turn led to scalp infections such as seborrheic eczema and ringworm. American doctors thundered against the concoction, trying in vain to get the American male to give it up -- but fashion trends were too entrenched. There was even an Anti-Macassar League, founded by Carrie Nation, that campaigned against Macassar oil, handing out thousands of pamphlets and doilies.

Finally, in 1930, the Food and Drug Administration stepped in to regulate the use of Macassar oil, requiring a license for its sale and use. That, along with a change in hair styles, put the kibosh on America’s infatuation with Macassar essential oil. Today it can only be found in countries such as Indonesia and Myanmar.

In the right hands, essential oils can be a powerful tool in promoting good mental and physical health. Today, stringent purity standards are in place to insure that any essential oil offered by a reputable company is completely unadulterated and safe. So it’s important to avoid all off-brand essential oils -- they may contain anything and everything!

Western soapberry tree

Episcopalians and their Lobsters

From the Washington Post: People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, the prominent advocacy group, has honed its focus on one beloved tradition in Episcopal churches across the country, the lobster boil. The animal-rights group sent a letter Friday to Bishop Michael Curry, the presiding bishop and primate who leads the nationwide church, asking him to end the practice of lobster dinners in favor of something more vegetarian.

Pity Bishop Michael Curry --

Boiling lobsters in a hurry.

Lest the PETA goons appear

to start another PR smear.

Episcopals like lobster stew,

And have no idea what to do

When protesters their treat would ban

In favor of a loaf of bran.

Though water may be changed to wine,

And devils be cast out of swine --

No miracle can save a creed

That must subsist on boiled flaxseed.

Cats and Dogs Need Lawyers . . .

From the NYTimes: "Last year, Connecticut enacted a law that, according to legal experts, made it the first state to allow judges to appoint lawyers and law students as advocates for dogs and cats"

Cats and dogs need lawyers like a golf ball needs a bat;

It’s cruelty to animals -- on that I will stand pat.

I do not think a schnauzer wants a shyster as a friend.

And why would any tomcat need assistance rules to bend?

Suppose this trend spreads to the parakeets in gilded cages,

To bunnies and to guppies -- it would be a new Dark Ages.

Humanity has suffered from attorneys far too long.

Inflicting them on animals would be a beastly wrong!

Monday, August 28, 2017

My DNA Profile

I had my DNA checked out

To find my ancestry.

They clipped me for a c-note

Without too much guarantee.

Results came back and I found out

(I refuse my thoughts to harshen)

That mom and dad were immigrants --

and I am wholly Martian . . .

Rabindranath Tagore Used Indian Sandalwood Oil for Inspiration

Rabindranath Tagore was a celebrated Bengali poet, sage, and mystic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913 for his breathtaking verses on life in a Bengali village. He was also a profound student of Ayurvedic medicine -- the ancient holistic art that Indians have been practicing instead of Western medicine for thousands of years.

At Visva Bharati, his academy in west Bengal, he not only taught poetry, music, and philosophy -- but offered courses in the use of essential oils to release the spirit and bring relief to many commonplace illnesses. One of his favorite ingredients was Indian sandalwood oil. Tagore called this essential oil “heartbalm.”

In his voluminous writings he once penned: “The oil from the sandalwood tree has been known for centuries as an elevator of noble emotions and the basis for a mature health that is proof against many of the diseases that stem from the filth and stench that surround us, especially in the great cities of the world, where plagues begin before spreading to the countryside. Sandalwood should be burned to purify the air; the oil should be rubbed on the skin for protection against the elements and skin lesions; and it can be imbibed, suitably diluted, for digestive health and to clear the head of all untoward thoughts.”

Tagore claimed that his best poetry and prose only came after he had rubbed Indian sandalwood oil on the soles of his feet, the palms of his hands, and the crown of his head.

Today we know that Indian sandalwood oil is effective against many skin problems and is an effective mood enhancer when used in aromatherapy. If you are engaged in profound spiritual and/or intellectual thought, this essential oil will give you additional inspiration.