Today's timericks.

 

I will brave the winter snows/or if a tornado blows/still my ballot I shall cast/even though I am harassed/I will exercise my right/even if it seems so slight/I want Washington to hear/my small voice both loud and clear!

all the judges that are Trumpish/seem to always be quite frumpish/when it comes to vote restrictions/within their own jurisdictions/fewer voters means, I guess/to them a Trump success.

when you are the president/you can always circumvent/rules and regulations by/playing like you're Captain Bligh/anywho, the FDA/seems to function just that way/they lay down real constantly/so the prez can play M.D.

people now cook ev'ry meal/in their homes, which makes me feel/spices soon will disappear/from our market shelves I fear/I will not be very meek/if I can't find fenugreek/and if turmeric does wane/my cuisine is all in vain!

The moon shall not shine forth

 

The moon shall not shine forth

when Reckoning is nigh.

The stars will disappear,

and Sun with bitter sigh.

Only light from Christ alone

at that time can then be shone.

A time to prepare to meet God

 

Preparation is the key

to a glad eternity.

We have but one life, one chance;

don't let folly lead your dance.

God can make us strong enough

to call any devil's bluff.

Today's timericks.

 

Uncle Sam is warning China's neighbors, left and right/that Beijing is a bully and a braggart and a blight/but should these neighbors get into a border crossing fray/they will find that Uncle Sam is staying far away.

I won't go back to work today/no matter what my boss may say/unless he brings in caviar/some blinis, and a movie star/and even then I may leave early/if my salad greens ain't curly.

Gray wolves are endangered, but the White House juggernaut/has removed protections so the critters can be shot/Wouldn't it be pleasant if we had an open season/on those Oval Office wonks who led this wildlife treason?

I predict Election Night descends to chaos gayly/giving us a show like the old Ringling, Barnum, Bailey/Three rings of absurdity that frolics until daylight/then a sorry mess that will continue just to stay trite.

waking up at three a.m. is not my cup of tea/I'd rather have my knee caps broke or swallow a tepee/I know that if I stay up I will zombie-like become/and if I try to hit the hay to worry I'll succumb/and so I putter with light verse, none of it terrific/since it seems to work on most as a soporific.

Today's timericks.

 

When it comes to speaking freely/heed the words of Horace Greely/He said "Speak your mind, young man/and have a paying bizness plan"/Zuckerberg and all his like/abuse free speech and riches strike.

the flood of falsehoods has begun/to see if Trump or Biden won/the tales they tell at county seats/all fairy tales it surely beats/and who's behind these fantasies?/perhaps it is the birds and bees . . . 

I live inside the Rust Belt/and I've heard it all before/the posturing and promises/that blossom nevermore/the landscape is depleted and the welfare checks are late/and I don't give a hoot in hell/for my own country's fate.

I'm growing old so gracefully/I'm like a stately oak/my acorns have all fallen/and my branches are quite broke/my bark is wrinkled from the years/my sap is rather thin/there's beetles boring into me/I'm rotten from within/O Axeman, when you get to me/be gentle and be quick/don't turn me into toothpicks/hanging from some low life's lip?

What the hell are all these ads about my Medicare?/are they information or just meant to throw a scare?/It's about Enrollment, or blue fairies, or the Sphinx/all I know about it is that something really stinks/tell Joe Namath to shut up and mind his own affairs/he couldn't sell a comb to people with the longest hairs.

Pandemic, won't you pretty please/spare the life of my rich cheese?/take away anchovy sauce/make french fries a total loss/but do not take away from me/my mozzarella and my brie/how can I endure a party/without some Swiss or smooth havarti?/I'll blow my brains out if I'm thrown/into a world sans provolone!

the yeasty smell of donuts/fried in grease and oh so sweet/what is there in all the world/such pleasure can unseat?/fie on custard bismarcks or the sticky maple bun/there is nothing to compare/ beneath the roaming sun/fill a bag for me and mine/and powder it with mace/and we will make them vanish/in a second, without trace!

Man in the image of God

 

Why should some people think it odd

that we are made just like our God?

No cloudy essence strangely spawned,

but loving parent wise and fond.

We are His children, one and all,

and so should walk both glad and tall.

Today's timericks.

 

The White House brags they've licked COVID; just like a piece of cake/they won't admit delusion or that nasty concept 'fake'/I hope they get Lex Luthor and go after Fu Manchu/It seems the kind of fantasy Trump so well can do.

If I had the mazuma I would rent a desert isle/and party in high fashion, banning nylon and argyle/the wine would be exceptional, the guests so famous that/they think that a 'pandemic' is some kind of trendy hat.

No one wants to buy our steel/Tariffs are a useless deal/They leave Uncle Sam awash/with factories on the kibosh.

I've got a little cabin on the Sea of Nectar, friend/and I will let it go for just a trifle -- no pretend!/The Moon is full of lakes and streams, I'm certain you have heard/and I am selling shorefront lots at prices quite absurd/So step right up and buy a lot to build your lunar castle/I'll handle all the finances with very little hassle!

Artificial cooling of our planet is required/if our license to exist is not to be expired/Send those sunbeams back to Sol, so we can start the chilling/and gain some time to stop the fracking and the constant drilling/Make the clouds more whiter, and spread snow like white confetti/Make our planet friendly to the shy, elusive yeti/No longer fabrication or some tale by H.G. Wells/Either mirrors in the sky or we'll start growing shells!

A parent's heart will seize up like an engine when a child/coldly builds a wall that keeps them outside and exiled/A drive of half an hour puts them by my lonely side/but silent years keep building, with my happiness denied/Just a little visit, just a casual how-de-do/is all I want in this life, but I guess it won't come true . . .  

Today's timericks.

 

Seems that Trump the pedal soft/his campaign doth gently waft/when it comes to border jumpers/who now vote in teeming bumpers/He is like the python's slumber/when it wakes, it has your number!

Americans are buying guns at record rates, I hear/Are they hunting wabbits or is it some kind of fear?/Guns go off by accident so often nowadays/especially when drinking right around the Holidays/I'd rather have a sling shot or a handy can of Mace/Guns were made for killing/it is hard to find their grace.

First class mail is awful slow/so do not let your ballot go/by the postal service if/you want it counted without tiff/Put it in a drop box or/vote in person, dinosaur . . . 

Be diligent

 

Be diligent to quick obey

the Lord in each and ev'ry way.

Then you will prosper without cease

and live your days in cheerful peace.

Today's timericks.

 

Utilities have now been cut/for California users/folks sans generators will/ become the biggest losers/Candlelight's romantic but/there is no surrogate/for watching Netflix movies/or some reruns of Stargate.

Election boards are lazy and incompetent to boot/they haven't got the gumption to get out of their sweatsuit/There may be some exceptions, but their rarity just proves/instead of brains they function with bare bureaucratic grooves.

the kids today are grown so fat/there is no real good habitat/to raise them in without a crush/because they eat that junk food mush/make them vegans and climb trees/while we adults snarf our headcheese.

be careful how you deal with God/he loves the sinner, not the fraud/manipulating his decrees/is like a sip of antifreeze/it first tastes sweet, with no regrets/but then it makes you cool your jets/the heavens don't like politickin/so watch out, Trump, or you'll be stricken!

visit sunny Catalina/the DDT smells like verbena/all the fish have lost their scales/and boats glide by with poisoned sails/it's a tourist hotspot where/you'll lose your teeth, and then your hair. 

An Iniquitous King

 

And behold now I say unto you, ye cannot dethrone an iniquitous king save it be through much contention and the shedding of much blood.

For behold, he has his friends in iniquity, and he keepeth his guards about him; and he teareth up the laws of those who have regined in righteousness before him; and he trampleth under his feet the commandments of God . . . 

Mosiah 29: 21-22.

Too much power in one leader

is of conflict such great breeder

that the man who gives it up

with the Savior sure will sup.

Torku: Green. 緑

 

Green

is never

in a hurry

a green lamp

in the sun

otherwise drowsy

Halloween

no green

allowed

Torku: Snow. 雪

 

the lazy snow

drifts along pointlessly

yet asleep to its power

invisible snow

floating rocks

embarrassed bushes

snow dust

on a fence

before Halloween

snow

is the sincerest form of

winter

Today's timericks.

 

Me, spend lots of money just to kick start world affairs?/Merchants, do not hold your breath I'll make such fool repairs/I'm closer now than ever with each mother-loving cent/I'm so cheap I brew my beer by letting bread ferment!

If there's one thing that is fixed/it's Girl Scout cookies can't be nixed/Whether thin mints or trefoils/I love those goodies from the goils/COVID-19 never halts/the way shortbread my life exalts! 

I'm an old coot, yessiree!/I cannot hear; I cannot see/I'm cranky, thinking I'm the boss/and I subsist on applesauce/So websites, do not mess around/make 'em easy, not profound/Otherwise I will revert/to reading chiseled words on chert.

I know that paywalls help the trade/but no wall yet was ever made/that boys like me could long ignore/so we will climb them evermore/The thrill and sense of minor fraud/gives a lift to this tightwad!

You gotta raise mazuma when you're running for a seat/and it ain't just that your opponent you must always beat/Your staff is large and you must travel many many miles/and get some plastic surgery to guarantee those smiles/And sticky fingers siphon off a goodly share, no doubt/But then, in politics, you never DO find a Boy Scout.

Saving sentient beings is the purpose of the news/with truth and justice rising high above all shabby ruse/The Epoch Times newspaper does exemplify that fact/with stories that are phony as a Tiffany that's cracked/You'd think their circulation would be plummeting, but then/it's hogwash that sells copies say all good newspaper men.

A bright recollection

 

The celestial clock is beating;

my time to repent may be fleeting --

As bright recollections

of my imperfections

I know Christ can help be receding.

Today's Timericks

 

Early voting is the thing/of which I will gladly sing/Minds made up; the public votes/separating sheep from goats/Lines are long, but devil take it/Democracy -- you just can't fake it!

What's the smell of outer space?/Is it something we'll embrace?/Like a rose or like a skunk?/Or is it completely bunk?/Me, I doubt it's very smelly/I hope it's like a kosher deli.

The mind of America shrinks/people are tired of thinks/They like to be told/to bend or to fold/God's starting all over with skinks. 

I liked to step on bugs a lot/until by mother I was caught/she told me it was inhumane/to cause another creature pain/I wonder if she'd feel the same/about those White House pests of shame?

In Thailand police are divided/some think their leaders misguided/no protestors shrink/which makes the cops think/the government may be lopsided.

What kind of a person denies/a citizen's most cherished prize/by blocking her vote/with force or stale quote/Such persons we should ostracize!  

Liberty and freedom versus fraud and deceit

 

Deceit and fraud, effective tools,

can make the public act like fools.

True liberty and freedom, though,

come from God to us below.

Nurtured with due gratitude

they keep our happiness renewed.

Today's Timericks.

 

Leaders like to thump their chest/bragging 'bout who is the best/Xi Jinping says Uncle Sam/Korean troops went on the lam/cuz his troops were so eye-popping/imperialist dogs they were all stopping/Such baloney goes quite well/with what Beijing now wants to sell.

Thailand's generals decline/taking too hard of a line/with the young folks who demand/freedom for their native land/Though skeptical that they're benign/I take it as a hopeful sign/that the junta now in power/senses they are past their hour.

File a lawsuit -- do it now/it's the new trend anyhow/corporations and small fry/in the courts their luck will try/better sue before your sued/be the one to start a feud/if you win you get big loot/and if you lose you're destitute.

Let us run on pure sunshine/or perhaps a wind turbine/fossil fuel is so passe/it has had its greasy day/motorists are out of luck/if they drive a diesel truck/I'm with Biden; let's change course/instead of cars I'll drive a horse!

Newspapers are shrinking fast/how much longer can they last?/Writers get the old heave ho/even at a one horse show/readers now on Google gag/instead of their own local rag. 

Fearless Facebook scruples not

to look into its soul a lot;

 righteously policing ads

that are evil, wicked fads.

But the outside world remains

shut out despite all its pains.

Only their own CEO

can the whistle ever blow.

The Strangeness of Iowa.

 

I worked as news director at two different radio stations in Iowa a while back.

The state was ripe for a Trump takeover, long before the man even thought of a White House wassail.

The fact that Iowa is now facing financial Gotterdammerung like most other states does not surprise me -- nor does the fact that it never required most businesses to close down surprise me.

Iowans put dill pickle slices in their bottles of beer.

They eat something called an 'Iowa Chop,' which is so huge that it would feed a family of five in Oregon for a month of Sundays.

They dote on corncob jelly. I interviewed a passel of old farm wives for their secret recipes -- which basically were just corn cobs, sugar, pectin, and cinnamon sticks. 

I ran a call-in show and got into big trouble by pooh poohing the idea that only one cob of corn grows on each stalk. It's true -- but it's one of those things, like something in a Twilight Zone episode, that shouldn't be.

Iowa farmers distill their corn into ethanal, then feed the leftover mash to their cows. The mash is still highly alcoholic, but because cows have three stomachs they never keel over or get the dt's. And their farts would float the Hindenburg. 

A farmer once claimed to have dug up the skeleton of an elephant on his land; I went out to interview him and he showed me the skeleton of a horse while looking straight at me and saying it was a baby elephant.

For all these reasons, and many more, I regard Iowa as inhabiting another dimension that only dimly shadows our own -- so their economic woes will not affect them like any other state.

Iowa, in fact, will soon sign a trade agreement with the Republic of Upper Volta, trading corn for copra, and is going to vote solidly for Trump again -- then secede from the Union, kidnapping Trump and taking him with them to the South Pacific Garbage Patch.

And if they don't, my name isn't Ish Kabibble. 

Those who repent are the covenant people of the Lord

 

Keep your promises to be

blessed for all eternity.

Race or creed or Good Book learnin'

ain't enough to keep from burnin'!

Today's timericks.

 

COVID-19 vaccines ain't invented yet at all/but people seem to think we'll have one later on this fall/is it optimism that has fueled this fairy tale/or is it something in the air that citizens inhale?

If Biden wins the White House/the transition may be rough/Trump has indicated/that he won't be a cream puff/If I were Mr. Biden/I don't think that I would test/Trump's goodwill without the wearing/of a Kevlar vest.

Congress isn't happy unless some poor CEO/is waiting in the lobby for a grilling, dontcha know/Common folk are poison to their PR aspirations/since lobbyists are snobs and won't give out with the donations.

I wish they had a testing kit that told me when in-laws/were about to drop in and start yakking without pause/or indicated that a landlord's words were only bluff/They should get Alexa to perform that kind of stuff.

The mute button in use tonight/should keep the controversy light/But if I know our sneaky Chief/it will not give us much relief/He'll have the FBI bypass/the circuitry and start to gas/Iran can't lead us more astray/than Donald Trump does anyway!

Lord, how is it done?

 

"Lord, how is it done?" I asked in amaze;

my sins no more scathing me like a fierce blaze.

The Savior then told me what all men will know;

from His blood alone all forgiveness must flow.

The Deep State.

 

There's more things in both Earth and Hell

than mere philosophy can tell.

The Internet has set us free

with liberating fantasy!

Reality's beside the pale;

it's like a monkey reading braille.

Our media, so poorly run,

gives mountebanks a lot of fun.

Constraints and good taste disappear;

it's all out war (and with good cheer.)

All Democrats eat babies raw.

And segregation need not thaw.

A license not to wear a mask

is all some people ever ask.

Yes, readfakes tell us black is white

and laundered narratives backbite.

Grim ANTIFA has run amok;

it's like a cyber garbage truck.

The Russians and the Chinese fix

our own elections with their tricks;

but we prefer to think 'Deep State'

all of our rights will abrogate.

Our leaders try to use this fiend

but only get their thick clock cleaned.

Then QAnon gets in the act,

and warps the truth and rapes the fact.

But do we care or do we chafe?

We just go on like all is safe.

Integrity has been debunked

and honesty the test has flunked.

We want big chiefs who do not grow

but give a better raree show.

It's bread and circus time again,

and we're all in a big play pen.

The only hope that I can see

is lie detectors constantly.

Cuz otherwise the real McCoy

will just remain a whipping boy. 

Today's Timericks. (Dedicated to the memory of Kevin Bickford.)

 

I gotta have more vitamins; I'm feeling mighty poor/I'll gulp 'em all, from A to Z, my sparkle to restore/I'd rather have a vitamin than hamburger and fries/so I can live to see another COVID-lit sunrise.

The President wants Biden tarred and feathered right away/and so he's pushing Barr to find the means and nasty way/to indict the candidate and sling a little crap/hoping some will stick so Biden loses in a snap.

I'm lovin' all my neighbors, no matter how they vote/After the election, I'll neither sulk nor gloat/I value their affection, and hope they feel the same/Together we will work hard the Canadians to blame.

Mitch McConnell is so mean/he'd step on a jelly bean/He's so stingy that he'd vote/Noah be denied raincoat/Something soured him for good/his heart is made up of driftwood.  

Now I hear that belching cows/cause the atmosphere to rouse/and that feedlots with their stink/put us on a climate brink/Let's raise crickets now instead/so we don't all wind up dead. 

It ain't a good idear, my friend/an interview to rudely end/when it is Sixty Minutes that/you treat like loathsome forest scat/Trump's wits sure have gone AWOL/when he disses Lesley Stahl. 

In the green state Tennessee/voting is sheer lunacy/If you wear the wrong t-shirt/you are treated just like dirt/Better cast your ballot nude/so the judges won't be rude.

The wide open spaces are calling to me/Escaping the virus is priority/I figure those cowpokes in Bozeman don't cotton/to anything that makes a body feel rotten/I'll buy me a ranch and raise sagebrush, you bet/riding the range on my trusty baguette.  

Torku: 赤の色

 

scientific explanations

for the color red

are partisan

sadly

科学的説明
赤の場合
パーティザンです
悲しいことに

a leaf inclines to red

blushing at the thought

of winter

zut!

葉が赤く傾く 考えに赤面 冬の

a modest red

uselessly shy

what a juiceless

waste!

控えめな赤 無駄に恥ずかしがり屋 なんてジュースレス 廃棄物！

Today's Timericks.

 

Ev'rybody's getting frantic/seeing Google get gigantic/So an antitrust lawsuit/now is bearing awful fruit/But don't worry; Google will/simply buy up Capitol Hill.

Russian hackers in our hair/they are hacking ev'rywhere/In elections, power grids/even games for little kids/They are worse than in-law's snout/cuz you cannot kick them out/I guess I will go off-line/and mail letters asinine.

China has a new vaccine/doesn't work, but they are keen/to stick students on their way/to the good old USA/So if you begin to sneeze/blame those pushy darn Chinese.

Where ya gonna get the newz/now that newspapers do snooze/Partisans have set up press/to give you pure watercress/If you want the old reporting/Brit newspapers start importing.

Lawmakers are used to prying/barging in to start the frying/but the USPS keeps/them from any nosy peeps/They don't want the world to know/they invented the first 'slow.' 

When my fingernails I paint/I know sanity is faint/next I'll dye my hair bright pink/and with kohl my eyes I'll ink/call them fashion trends, but we/really know they're lunacy. 

If you really want to learn/why our diplomats all yearn/to return back home right quick/it's because they're getting sick/foreign poisons introduced/to give terrorists a boost/Envoys better watch their step/or they'll get a super strep!

If you're sitting on the fence/you don't have a good defence/You are wishy washy, mate/VOTE, and don't procrastinate/VOTE: your  wooden fence this winter/will but give you a large splinter!

Spared.

 

I testify the Lord has spared

me oft because He truly cared.

How much more often this obtains

depends on righteousness, not brains.

Torku: San San Nu

 

water flowing upside down

splashing in a vacuum

dish pan hands

brown thoughts

on a brown day --

my eggs lake

or my legs ache

the fly

and the stool --

the stool 

and the fly --

neither knows

the capitol

of Latvia

Listeth to obey

 

If you list to obey, stumbling blocks

are mountains the size of matchbox.

But if you disdain

your climbing is vain

as God puts a stone in your socks.

Torku.

 

sliced white bread

spread with stone

as seen on TV

frozen white waves

over no shores

gluten free

The big questions don't matter.

Hamburger fried with onions

is the answer to everything.

Today's timericks. Sunday, October 18, 2020.

 

I work at home, without a care/that I am in my underwear/My hair's a mess; my teeth unbrushed/and after Five I'm pretty flushed/Potato chips on my keyboard/are swept aside or just ignored/The TV plays, just to my right/I'm now allergic to sunlight/A cyber hermit for my job/I've now become the perfect slob.

Orders placed online today/in the warehouse long will stay/Deliveries will be postponed/and eventually disowned/cuz there ain't enough strong hands/to promote our Christmas plans/Once this problem is debated/have child labor reinstated/Otherwise old Santa Claus/will put your presents all on pause. 

I wish I weren't a poet;

Impractical am I.

When I should be out working,

I'm gazing at the sky.

The world needs men of action,

who flinch not at the fight.

Me, I sit and daydream

of just which word is right.

Homer was a poet,

and Milton weren't no slouch.

But my stuff is so tepid

'twould make Joe Brodsky crouch.

I shoulda been a barber,

just cutting people's hair;

I'd still have finer feelings,

but I just wouldn't care.

after you have took a spin/keep an eye on your new Schwinn/do not think of any folly/that would leave alone your Raleigh/thieves will work with lightning speed/to hijack velocipede/Bring it inside; crooks do mock/any kind of tandem lock/Makes you wonder if their strikes/will include now kiddy trikes.

The Lord of the harvest

 

The Lord of harvest so gently weaves

each of us into his sheaves;

He neglects no single straw,

and binds us with a loving awe.

Reaped are we by ardent hands,

no matter race or creed or lands.

Light Verse: Thailand.

 

Drowsy and contented, Thais/now are on the wild uprise/When I lived there long ago/they took things so calm and slow/Orchids and a bowl of rice/was to them sweet paradise/Now they demonstrate in streets/with the rage of young afreets/Royalty no longer means/much more than a hill of beans/They are tired of their bosses/who talk big to cover losses/They are not afraid of jails/and if their revolution fails/they will try again no doubt/to make their overlords get out.

Mansions.

 

Any mansion God may build

isn't for the soul self-willed.

Homeless among fleshpots, he

only can so sheltered be.

Walk uprightly before God

 

An upright walk before the Lord

will bring to me a joy restored.

But if I slouch, go on all fours,

I'll be extinct like dinosaurs. 

Today's Timericks.

 

I never pay my taxes;

why should I dole out cash

to Uncle Sammy's minions

as they make things a hash.

My tax return is bogus;

so what if I am caught.

I'll hire a big lawyer

who wears a silk ascot.

He'll get me off for certain,

and if he don't -- oh well,

at least when I'm in prison

I won't need my hair gel.

The Right is having kittens,

as social platforms halt

stories they want posted --

tho lies they do exalt.

They're gonna shut down Facebook,

then Twitter will be next;

unless, of course they happen

to write big campaign checks.

If Trump thinks he's a naturalist,

then I am Rin Tin Tin.

Mother Nature gets from him

naught but Mickey Finn.

The last time that he hugged a tree

was when he thought it grew

money from each branchlet

and shed gold like morning dew!

To sing the song of redeeming love

 

To sing of His redeeming love

is done without constraint;

no voice is incompatible,

too loud, too cracked, too faint.

Join in singing this grand hymn,

O people of the Earth.

To celebrate the Christ's great love

and our divine rebirth!

All voices to redeeming love

will sing combined one day,

since Christ has come off conqueror

and in our hearts will stay.

More Timericks for Wednesday Evening.

 

Goodbye, Sunny Florida. Hello, Frigid Winter. Covid Strands Canadian Snowbirds.

In Toronto hear them screech/We have lost Miami Beach!/

And in Moose Jaw, eyes all glassy/they all yearn for Tallahassee/

Canada's no place to be/when the snow falls constantly/

But the frozen residents/are the victims of events/

never nearer the Equator/or the kindly alligator. 

Why Scientists Made Venus Flytraps That Glow.

Idle hands in science labs/crossing tulips with blue crabs/

making Venus flytraps glow/straightening the curved rainbow/

Put their noses to grindstone/so they'll leave the Earth alone.

Otherwise we're on the brink/of crossing sponge with kitchen sink!

As election nears, Pentagon leaders’ goal of staying out of elections is tested.

No one at the Pentagon/will admit they need to fawn/

over politicians who/squeeze their purse strings till they're blue/

Chiefs of Staff think it is droll/that they'd spurn a big bank roll/

Whoever wins next month will find/that brass hat begging is refined!