Tim Torkildson's Clown Alley

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Does Donald Trump Still Use Clary Oil?

Does he or doesn't he?

HIstory records many notable leaders who used essential oils to bolster their physical appearance and calm their tingled nerves. Pharaoh Khufu of Egypt was said to use sesame seed oil to keep his dark skin looking burnished and regal. Julius Caesar dressed his Roman locks with grapeseed oil on a daily basis, to ward off imminent baldness. And the great Napoleon himself could not sleep unless his pillows were lightly perfumed with lavender oil. He even carried a supply of lavender oil with him on his disastrous march into Russia in 1812; while his troops shivered and froze out in the harsh Russian winter, Bonaparte slept peacefully -- kept warm under numerous quilts and pillows scented with lavandula.

Today essential oils are still part and parcel of a leader’s physical agenda. British Prime Minister Theresa May uses Tea Tree essential oil-based shampoo to keep her silver strands looking clean and vibrant. The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is quite attached to citrus oils like lemon and orange to keep her cuticles from looking dull and from cracking. And Aung San Suu Kyi, the First State Counselor of Myanmar, uses jasmine oil, rubbing it on her temples prior to her morning Buddhist meditations.

But what about President Donald Trump -- does he use any essential oils on a regular basis? The jury is still out on that. However . . .

His former hairdresser, Amy Lasch, told the New York Post in a recent article that when she worked on his hair during his many TV appearances she always used several drops of clary oil to keep it looking thick and to keep it in place. She said that the President is overfond of hairsprays and hair gels that mat his hair down, so she recommended he also use a tea tree-based shampoo (Melaleuca), to wash out all the harsh chemicals that sprays and gels incorporate to keep hair under control. Lasch said “Looking at his most recent Press Conferences, I’d say that President Trump is still using clary oil to preserve the bounce and the color in his hair -- but I haven’t worked for him directly in a while. I understand the White House has its own hair salon, but I doubt the President uses it much -- it looks to me like somebody in the family is still cutting his hair for him.”

Since his election, President Trump has remained mum on what, if any, essential oils he uses for hair care. But recent studies show that oils like clary and melaleuca can add a wonderful bounce to anyone’s hair, man or woman. Essential oils may also be helpful in preventing, or at least slowing down, the onset of male pattern baldness.

For further information, and for an absolutely free, no obligation, sample of three of the most commonly used oils, including lemon and lavender, contact Wellness Advocate Amy Snyder at http://bit.ly/2vHgrH6 Please put your name and address in her Comments box. She has used these superb essential oils for years herself and will be delighted to share her experiences with you in a professional and friendly manner!

NOTICE TO READERS: The information contained in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any emotional or physical condition, illness, or injury. The author, publishers, and distributors of this blog shall have no liability or responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any and all alleged damage, loss, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this work. This work contains suggested uses of oils based on acceptable dosage amounts recommended by the manufacturer. The author makes no claim to have verified or validated these suggestions. The readers must validate acceptable dosage amounts from the manufacturer before application. The information in this book is in no way intended as a substitute for medical advice. We recommend that all readers obtain medical advice from a licensed healthcare professional before using essential oils for any reason.

Another Paper Bites the Dust (The Village Voice Ceases Print Publication)

Another paper bites the dust

And goes the cyber way

Our forests gain protection

But our tactile rights? Oy vay!

When newsprint lay upon the land

As thick as cream cheese frosting

And ev’ry news stand had a choice

Of viewpoints quite exhausting --

Then twere joy to sit and read

My paper with a bagel --

But now with keyboard and a screen

I always must finagle.

The internet is good for many things

Like games and podcast

But it is sucky when it comes

To comics and good lambaste.

So I will read a book instead

And let the Fourth Estate

Go online without my aid

To thunder and to prate.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Sunday Dinner at the Circus

One of the main reasons I watch Blue Bloods is not because it stars Tom Selleck -- although he is a pretty slick piece of merchandise. No, I dote on those Sunday dinners after church services where the whole family sits down to a sumptuous repast that always includes a hefty roast, real mashed potatoes, lots of bread and butter, a great big green salad tossed and served in a pressed wood bowl, and something fatally chocolate for dessert. Never mind all the wine they guzzle during the meal -- that’s just Hollywood flummery. Any real family that tried to drink that much vino during dinner would wind up on skid row in a matter of months.

My own mother endured long sessions over her Kenmore every Sunday after morning Mass at Saint Lawrence Church in S.E. Minneapolis, whipping up fried chicken or succulent pork chops with a huge casserole of potatoes au gratin in the oven and creamed peas percolating in her one good copper pot. There was always a homemade pie -- either lemon meringue or apple.

I immediately missed those Sunday feasts when I went to work for Ringling as a First of May on the Blue Unit some 45 years ago. The Ringling pie car featured nothing out of the ordinary to celebrate the Sabbath Day -- same old burgers and fries or wilted iceberg lettuce salad with canned olives and sclerotic tomato slices. If you wanted something decent to warm the cockles of your heart on a Sunday you had to eat out -- and many towns still had blue laws those long years ago that shuttered the best restaurants on Sunday because they sold liquor.

Tim Holst and I, the only two Mormons on the Blue Unit, were always invited to a member’s home after morning church services on Sunday. Back then Mormon families were larger than they are now -- there was always a spare daughter or two that mom and dad thought ready for a Temple wedding. Back in the day Holst was considered a Good Catch by the discerning pater familias -- a returned missionary, hard-working, and with a clear tenor that could give the Mormon Tabernacle Choir a run for its money. I was viewed, on the other hand, as his slightly half-witted sidekick -- hadn’t served a mission yet and was too young and dopey-looking for anything but a few laughs; so I was usually fobbed off on the young children after dinner to keep them occupied with balloons.

A half century ago in most of the United States the typical centerpiece of a Mormon Sunday dinner was several loaves of baked Spam with some kind of ketchup glaze drizzled over it. My mother never allowed Spam to cross the threshold of my childhood home, so I had no idea what it was. The first time I saw one of these concoctions I innocently asked Holst if it was a meatloaf. There was always a big ceramic bowl of instant mashed potatoes. Another big ceramic bowl of canned corn (sometimes gussied up with a jar of pimentos.) Bottled peaches as a relish to go with the Spam. And really really good homemade bread with all the butter and honey I could handle. And I could handle a lot. Dessert was inevitably Jello -- with a Dream Whip topping.

Or, if our luck was out, we got to eat a Food Storage meal with the family. Mormons have been counseled since the days of Brigham Young to keep an emergency supply of essential foodstuffs on hand for a Rainy Day.. Back when Holst and I roamed the countryside as Ringling gypsies it was a common practice for LDS bishops to cavalierly choose several families in the ward and challenge them to live off of their food storage for a week. And if the two of us were invited to a Food Storage meal we had to be satisfied with rehydrated soup ,freeze-dried vegetables, and a leathery dried beef jerky that chewed like a Firestone tire -- and tasted like one, too.

Since most Sundays with Ringling were moveout nights, the matinee and evening shows were moved up a few hours, so Holst and I usually had to eat and run -- with Holst dutifully taking down the address and phone number of the daughter(s) while I made one last wiener dog for the clamoring kiddies. Then dad would drive us back to the arena, where Holst and I would scramble like mad to get into makeup and costume before Performance Director Charlie Baumann could balefully announce “You’re late for come in -- I fine you five dollars each!”

It is a tribute to both the good cooking of LDS women back then and our own cast iron stomachs that I never knew either Holst or myself to suffer from indigestion after snarfing down one of those LDS Sunday meals.

Today I don’t think an LDS family would be likely to offer such a Sunday meal as I have described to a visiting circus guest -- but I haven’t had the chance to find out in a long time. I myself keep a couple of cans of low sodium Spam in the pantry and will often pop one open on Sunday to fry up a few slices with some eggs for breakfast. If only I knew how to bake bread like those LDS ladies of long ago . . .

Robert E. Lee and Cassia Oil

During the American Civil War, medical treatment was often crude and haphazard. Medical science was still a hit and miss proposition, and most physicians were still reading Paracelsus, a medieval Swiss alchemist, for their medical knowledge. Casualties from infection and gangrene outnumbered outright deaths in most battles, as the military doctors on both sides struggled to treat injuries with their limited and sometimes harmful techniques.

General Robert E. Lee, the Confederate military leader, was especially concerned about the welfare of his troops. He wrote in his military daybook in 1863: “Today sees scores of our men losing limb after limb to the corruption that sets in after a battle. Our doctors seem helpless to stem this grim tide, leaving in its wake not an army of soldiers but an army of cripples!”

One of the few bright spots in this era of medical ignorance was the discovery by the Confederate Surgeon General David C. DeLeon of the benefits of cassia oil-soaked bandages in dramatically reducing the incidence of infection and gangrene when applied to battle wounds. He implored General Lee to find a way to circumvent the Union blockade so that a shipment of the volatile oil that lay sequestered in Baltimore Harbor could be released to the South for use in treating the wounds of its soldiers.

Lee, in turn, brought the matter up with the President of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis. Davis immediately sent a dispatch through enemy lines direct to President Lincoln -- asking if the precious oil could be released to alleviate the suffering of soldiers in the South. After discussing things over with his cabinet, Lincoln gave his approval for the cassia oil to be released, observing to his Secretary of War Edwin Stanton: “Those rebel soldiers may not think like us, but surely they suffer just like us -- a little mercy may help the South realize we don’t rejoice in this ugly business of war.”

And so the precious oil was made available to Robert E. Lee’s troops, alleviating the suffering of hundreds of men on the battlefield. The practice of using cassia-soaked bandages spread quickly from the South to the North, and after the War DeLeon continued his experiments with essential oils for the better treatment of many illnesses and injuries.

Today cassia oil, which is mentioned in the Bible, is still used for disinfecting purposes, as well as in aromatherapy for its vigorous uplifting aroma.

Your doTERRA Wellness Advocate, Amy Snyder

HEADLINES & VERSE. Tuesday. August 22. 2017. Mnuchin's Wife Boasts of Their Wealth on Instagram.

TRUMP TWEETS WHILE AFGHANISTAN BLEEDS

When wars cannot be won and no one dares admit defeat,

The strategy adopted is to sit around and tweet.

The Pentagon thinks quicksand can be conquered easily

By sinking many soldiers and then claiming victory.

And don’t think that the Navy this great stalemate will soon flip --

Not when they have lost their way and cannot steer a ship.

Keeping plans a secret, Trump will mount his hobby horse

And ride down all the terrorists on some emerald golf course.

MNUCHIN'S WIFE BOASTS OF THEIR WEALTH ON INSTAGRAM

When flaunting your wealth please be sure

To mention the places you tour.

As well as the brands

Your money commands --

So Instagram spreads your manure.

ANGOLA IS RICH; PORTUGAL IS POOR. THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT

Angola has got so much gelt

Each citizen wears a gold belt.

An outpost deprived,

It now is revived --

While Lisbon has got way too svelte.

BITCOIN INVESTORS LOSE MILLIONS TO CELL PHONE HACKERS

I lost the control of my phone

Cuz hackers won’t leave it alone.

My bitcoin account

Is now the amount

Of maybe a small zircon stone.

CHRIS CHRISTIE DOES NOT BELIEVE THE WORLD IS FLAT -- HE THINKS IT'S SQUARE

Chris Christie thinks that climate change

Is phoney and ill bred and strange.

Now his successor

Will need a confessor

To put him back in voting range.

TRUMP LABELS MEDIA AS 'DISHONEST'

Reporters are liars, y’know.

And Trump’s gonna make them eat crow.

His fearless remarks

Are clearly benchmarks

Of thinking with just a torso.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Jerry Lewis and the 'Oil of Laughter'

Confucius wrote: “He who brings laughter brings health.”

The ancient Chinese believed that ginger rhizomes gave a boost to actors and entertainers, and so no performer ever went onstage without sipping a cup of ginger tea, or rubbing his temple with some ginger oil. This belief in the efficacy of the volatile oil was so strong that performers often changed their name to ‘Shengjiang’, which means ginger in Mandarin.

Most often thought of as an aid to digestion and cure for nausea, ginger oil also enjoys a reputation as the ‘oil of laughter’ in Southeast Asia. In Thailand the essential oil is used to calm young folk dancers before their first performance. In Myanmar the oil is lightly rubbed into the feet of acrobatic clowns before each performance. And in Japan ginger oil, mixed with carnauba wax, is applied to the lips by stand up comics as a way to insure ‘funny talk.’

When the late Jerry Lewis toured the Far East for the USO in 1959, he complained of constant fatigue and muscle aches. After ruling out the flu or any other physical illness, a doctor in Japan suggested he try getting a massage with the ‘oil of laughter’ to see if that would lift his spirits and fire his comic inspiration. Lewis complied, writes his biographer Shawn Levy, and immediately felt refreshed and ready to continue entertaining the troops with his inimitable slapstick humor.

Lewis became something of a aficionado of ginger oils as the years rolled by. He used it to give a special kick to the kugel dishes he ordered at Canter’s Deli in Los Angeles, and continued to incorporate it in his daily massages while working at Paramount Pictures on films like ‘The Nutty Professor.’ He recommended the oil to up and coming comedians like Steve Martin and Gene Wilder. Lewis insisted on using only ginger oil from Madagascar or Taiwan, claiming it was the purest and most effective blend on the market.

Today, while the world mourns Jerry Lewis’ recent passing, we know that ginger aromatherapy and ingestion not only gives a boost to the immune system, but can help lift some of the worst aspects of depression and restore spiritual equilibrium. It is, indeed, a true ‘oil of laughter’ to those whose spirits have been lifted by its benefits!