From the New York Times. Sunday March 25 2018.

American adults continue to put on the pounds. New data shows
that nearly 40 percent of them were obese in 2015 and 2016,
a sharp increase from a decade earlier, federal health officials
reported Friday.

The woes of weight are heavy, there’s no doubt about that now.

The experts say adults are eating too much processed chow.

Food trucks and the drive-through make it easy to exceed

The needs of mere nutrition as we impetuously feed.

Heart attacks are gaining on us at an awful rate;

Diabetes fells us as we continue to tailgate.

Our blood pressure is spiking at dread levels rarely seen

Outside of octogenarians down in Saint Augustine.

Our children also suffer from a heedless appetite;

Gorging on the candied Cap’n Crunch both day and night.

Sitting on their tuchas playing Final Fantasy,

They’re plumping up like turkeys for November’s jubilee.

But going on a diet of raw kale and herbal tea

Is not the sort of lifestyle that appeals too much to me.

Like Falstaff I will take my chances with debauchery,

Enjoying ev’ry sweetmeat till they hang me from a tree!

From the Wall Street Journal. Sunday March 25 2018

China is the second-biggest customer for U.S. agricultural products after
Canada, and its planned tariffs on pork, fruit, nuts and other goods are
expected to worsen the U.S. farm economy’s slump.

In China our chicken feet sold

For scads of nice silver and gold.

But now a trade war

Means Chinese abhor

Those cackling tootsies tenfold!

Bank examiners comb records and interrogate executives. If they see a
problem, they can order bankers to fix it and sanction banks that
don’t listen. When examiners succeed at preventing transgressions,
hardly anyone notices. When they fail, consumers suffer.

There once was a bank snooper mad

Who never thought banks could go bad.

He never thus fined

A bank, and stayed blind

To evil like Sir Galahad.

The skill of spotting false information—rubbish, nonsense and, yes,
fake news—is so important these days that scientists have begun
serious research on it. They’re attempting to quantify when and
why people spread it, who is susceptible to it, and how people can
confront it.

I never tell lies anymore.

The internet saves me the chore.

With all their fake news

And bumfuzzled views

The truth has become just folklore.

unto the taking away of their stumbling blocks

. . . unto the taking away of their stumbling blocks.

First Nephi. Chapter Fourteen. Verse 1.

The blocks that I have stumbled over in a long career

Have given me respect for God (and just a touch of fear.)

For I have dealt with obstacles that would not go away

Until I fell upon my knees to plead and sob and pray.

And even then some challenges have never been removed;

I guess they’re meant to chasten me until my faith is proved.

If life were very easy and all barriers did cease,

My faith would surely dwindle and my pride would then increase.

So I will not complain about the stumbling blocks I face

(but in this game of life, oh Lord, could I just have one ace?)

**************************************************************

“. . . even a false hope produces better results than no hope.”

From the Lexington Herald Leader

The faith of a Christian brings hope,

Which strengthens my chances to cope

With life’s little quirks

As well as big jerks --

It helps me to climb like a rope.

From the Wall Street Journal. Saturday March 24 2018.

Recently, people started complaining that Amazon’s

digital assistant Alexa was bursting out in laughter at them

—for no reason whatsoever.

It ain’t a laughing matter when my smartphone jests with me;

I don’t like belching ringtones or a steam calliope.

When streaming adult movies on my laptop late at night

I’m getting the Three Stooges in a substitute pie fight.

And ordering from Amazon is getting to be tricky;

Packages arrive addressed to ‘Milton Q. Zwicky.”

Why this sudden sense of humor in our cyberspace?

How come at the ATM I’m squirted in the face?

Could it be the Russians playing havoc once again,

Making of our infrastructure some loud comedienne?

I think I’m going off the grid before it grows much worse --

Otherwise I’ll soon be texting rancid nonsense verse!

the path is unclear

the path is unclear

the hazy brown leaves diffuse

the unpatterned way

the seeds are like rocks

the seeds are like rocks

dull and immobile and brown

their promise is yet

neighborhood of one

neighborhood of one

goes wherever the rain stops

shoes dry off slowly

open the door

open the door now

the winter is passing by

finding is easy

beauty is absurd

beauty is absurd

in the wan light of winter

when tree bark is pearl

A man among the Gentiles . . .

And I looked and beheld a man among the Gentiles . . .

First Nephi. Chapter Thirteen. Verse 12.

A man among the Gentiles may be wrought upon by God

To leave his home and fam’ly for a purpose far abroad.

A woman, too, is often stirred to valor in the home

And need not find excuses to meander and to roam.

Even children can be moved to sacred things exclaim

That shut the mouths of tyrants and put demagogues to shame.

The finger of the Lord may touch whomever He may choose,

And if I’m ever touched again I hope I’ll not refuse!