Postcards to President Trump

I Wanna Join the Army

The posters are accompanied by promotional videos that show young people in mundane jobs or acting out the stereotypes that older generations hold about those in their late teens and 20s. The videos then cut to scenes of those same young people using their focus or compassion to benefit the Army. On social media, the purpose behind this recruitment strategy was put simply: “The Army spots potential. Even if others don’t.”

by Katie Mettler for the Washington Post

I wanna be a soldier and be recognized for skills

that others only think of as some dire mental ills.

Although the sight of blood will make me quiver and fall down,

I like to use red lipstick on my face like circus clown.

I'm careless of equipment, always have been, dontcha know;

so putting me inside a tank would be a rodeo.

Allergic to loud noises, I can't fire any gun.

But I can wield a slingshot, cuz I'm really quite homespun.

I've athlete's foot and asthma and I don't like khaki pants.

But gee I think the Army would provide me great romance!

 So sign me up and ship me to a far and distant place --

and don't forget supplies like a stout brolly and briefcase!

Postcards to President Trump

Frog Legs for Mitt Romney -- Kim Jong Un -- Nancy Pelosi -- China Lands on the Moon

The image of a smiling Romney sitting with Trump over a dish of frog legs at a white-tablecloth dinner in late 2016 was being widely circulated by Romney critics as a reminder of his past ingratiation, in that instance as he considered joining Trump’s Cabinet as secretary of state. Trump aides say the president never came close to tapping him.

by Robert Costa for the Washington Post

Although he's quite a decent gent

Mitt Romney won't be president.

A junior Congressman is he,

yet old as a retiree.

What's more, the party demagogues

claim he has lost the vote of frogs.

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North Korean leader Kim Jong Un offered a new peace overture in his New Year’s address, saying his country is refraining from producing nuclear weapons, a gesture some experts interpreted as a potential opening for resuming talks with President Trump.

by Michael R. Gordon and Andrew Jeong for the WSJ

When Kim says production is stopped

on nukes, it don't mean he has flopped

and means to play dead
to earn back some bread;
he just likes appearing to opt.

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There was a brief moment in Nancy Pelosi’s life when she worried she had too much power.

by Sheryl Gay Stolberg for the NYT

Of things you can't have too much of,

one is power (and its love.)

Women, who have been oppressed,

do not treat it as a jest.

When they're in the driver's seat,

they can really take the heat.

But is power worth the cost

of those things that can get lost?

Humility goes by the board.

Mercy does not strike a chord.

Conscience seems to matter less;

all is fair in polls and stress.

I wish Pelosi all the best.

She can rule -- and I'll just rest.

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China’s Chang’e-4 lunar lander touched down on the far side of the moon Thursday morning Beijing time, the latest in a string of milestones that mark the nation’s determination to become a global leader in space exploration in future decades.

by Robyn Dixon for the LATimes

Though China lands upon the Moon

they'd rather send a large platoon

across Formosa Strait to fight

and make Taiwan a satellite.

Their appetite for conquest grows

like Pinocchio's thin wooden nose.

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What is the desire of the humble?

 Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear . . .   Psalm 10:17

Longing for thy word

are the humble hearts and ears

of those rightly framed.

Postcards to President Trump

Comic Books

Thanos destroyed half of all existence and all talk of Marvel Studios movies never having villains that matter. The long wait to see the wielding of the Infinity Gauntlet lived up to the hype. Even among the heroes that survived, there’s no promise that they’ll make it out of May’s follow-up, “Avengers: End Game.”

by David Betancourt for the Washington Post 

I used to hide my comic books beneath the bed at night;

otherwise my parents would put up a dreadful fight.

They thought that reading Superman or Archie was a waste

of time and soon or later would turn all my wits to paste.

Batman was a hoodlum and the Justice League a ruse

to keep me up so late at night that when at school I'd snooze.

Filled with fantasy and schlock, they said I'd be a bum

pumping gas forever while I chewed on bubblegum.

Classics Illustrated they did give me in despair --

hoping it would make of me another sage Voltaire.

And when at last I cast aside the comic book, what joy

they had (although they never knew it was to read Playboy.)

Poor mom and dad would levitate if they could see the cash

that movies make when Hulk or Wolverine begin to smash.

They'll never make a blockbuster with Tolstoy or Balzac --

but film a bug-eyed mutant and there's money by the sack!

The Scientific World of Reporter Carolyn Y. Johnson of the Washington Post

Carolyn Y. Johnson, science journalist at the Washington Post

A proud graduate of Amherst College and M.I.T., Ms. Johnson is one of the most respected science reporters in the United States. Her expose of the Flat Earth conspiracy led to a nomination for the Wedgewood-Mickelsen Pedantry Medallion -- and she would have gotten it, too, if the judges had not been overwhelmed by the Dennis Overbye claque from the New York Times.

But that's mouthwash under the bridge.

As a little girl, Ms. Johnson was not much interested in the hard sciences. She wanted to be a beach comber. By the age of twelve she had collected hundreds of combs in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and was saving her allowance to finance a trip to the pristine beaches of Koh Samet in Thailand -- where she intended to spend the rest of her life styling the sand.

A chance encounter with a stray cyclotron at the local zoo changed her plans, and it wasn't long before Ms. Johnson was squinting at test tubes and chewing on litmus paper in a frenzied attempt to prove that the Big Bang theory should actually be called the Big Bag theory -- that the universe began as a single plastic bag and that it would eventually shrink, through entropy and caloric stagnation, back into just a single crumpled plastic bag, blowing aimlessly through the empty cosmos. Although her theory won many adherents among the Albanian intelligentsia, it has not yet been accepted by the American Academy of Stilton Cheese Aficionados. Time will tell who is in the right.

When not explaining the difference between string cheese and string theory to Washington Post readers, Ms. Johnson enjoys bonsai experiments with toothpicks and collecting the abstract art of A. Douthwaite. 

She keeps her pet iguanas, Wheeler and Woolsey, in a drawer at the office -- and allows them to roam the newsroom at will. They often bring her the shredded remains of co-workers who are not fleet of foot. 

Her favorite cocktail is an Amboy Dewlap, made with non-GMO paint thinner. 

Robert Frost for Sale -- Spoofed Again -- Is New York the Safest Big City in America? -- Revenge of the Dreamers

The work’s four stanzas—spare, musical and haunting—have been memorized by generations, dissected by scholars and beloved by presidents. And now that they are beyond the reach of copyright law, anyone can emblazon them anywhere, from inspirational posters to beach towels. Composers can lyricize them. Teachers can photocopy them. FedEx can paint “Miles to go” on its trucks. “Easy wind and downy flake” would make a good line of dryer sheets and laundry soap. Frost’s words belong to the ages and to everyone.

by Steve Hendrix for the Washington Post

The prospering poet allows

marketers his work to browse

for some simple phrase

on billboards to blaze

to help shopping frenzies arouse.

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Many illegal robocalls use number spoofing to obscure their identities. The practice allows bad actors to display to recipients numbers that aren’t actually the ones they are calling from.

by Sarah Krouse for the WSJ

I never know who's calling now.

It's causing me to have a cow.

Is that Uncle Ed,

who seemingly said

"You just won a beautiful plow"?

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New York City remained the safest big city in the country in 2018 as the murder rate continued to drop. But the number of rapes and hate crimes reported to the police rose sharply, the police said.

by Tyler Pager for the NYT

You're safe in New York, yes you are.

From murder and mischief by far.

The thugs have decamped

for quarters less cramped --

they're now at the White House snack bar.

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Young immigrants, known as “Dreamers,” have become a political force over the last two decades as they have pushed Congress to overhaul the nation’s immigration laws. Part of a new wave of immigrant activists who mobilized this year to return control of the House to Democrats, Cruz and others in the movement see in President Trump an existential threat to their futures, and to their friends and family.

by Jazmine Ulloa for the LATimes

The Dreamers have woke up at last

and given their foes a real blast.

They're done asking 'please'

and with expertise

replace them with friends unsurpassed

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And they that know thy name

 And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.

Psalm 9:10.

Name the Lord always

and trust in his ways today

to find nourishment