Postcards to President Trump

Men Without Coats (or Brains) -- The World Institute of Slowness -- The Last Straw in San Dieg

EVERY WINTER, the season’s most confounding species emerges: the Male Nojacketus. On that first freezing day, you can spot him standing on the subway platform or hoofing it toStarbucks, nonchalant in his meager button-up shirt. Even when this foolhardy creature can see his own breath, he may not don a coat, or even a pair of pants (Male Nojacketae adore shorts, especially of the cargo variety). Scarfs or hats? He would never stoop to such compromising accessories. The most extreme members of the species will bare his toes in flip-flops on days that could easily end in snow.

WSJ

The reason that men don't wear coats

when winter is sowing wild oats

is that they are clear

on not showing fear;

they won't even cover their throats.

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Geir Berthelsen, founder of the World Institute of Slowness, a think tank in Norway, says starting the day with intentional slowness helps spark creative thinking. “Business leaders need to take time to forget about time, and that helps them be creative when they arrive at work,” he says. “That’s the goal of doing this before going into the workplace.”   WSJ

Norwegians who savor the slow

start mornings like syrup in snow.

They dawdle and sit

to daydream a bit;

velocity makes them cry "Whoa!"

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San Diego joined 119 other California cities on Tuesday by banning polystyrene food and beverage containers, which have been blamed for poisoning fish and other marine life and damaging the health of people who eat seafood.

The City Council approved the ban by a 6-3 vote along party lines, with all Democrats in favor and all Republicans opposed.

LATimes

The city council took a whack

at the polystyrene claque.

When the Democrats had won,

take out food was all undone.

 Now let's blame the GOP

for some new conspiracy.

Europe Says "Bang Bang!" -- Trump Continues to Rearrange Deck Chairs on the Titanic -- The Poor are Smoking More--

Gun ownership is rising across Europe, a continent that until recently faced far less gun crime and violence than much of the globe. Not long ago it was rare to see armed British police.

WSJ

There was a young person in Spain

who wanted a gun to obtain.

Said she: Caballeros 

will scatter like sparrows

when my weapon starts to explain.

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President Trump will address the nation on Tuesday night and travel on Thursday to the U.S.-Mexico border to press his case for a wall there, amid a partisan funding impasse over the issue that has kept the government partially shut down into a third week.

LATimes

If I were in Trump's shoes today

I think that I'd like just to say:

Instead of dividers

let's welcome outsiders

to make our economy pay.

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For starters, the people living in neighborhoods with higher smoking rates tended to make less money than people in neighborhoods with lower smoking rates. The researchers calculated that a $10,000 increase in a census tract’s median household income corresponded with a 0.92 percentage-point decrease in smoking prevalence.

LATimes

Tobacco makes paupers of folk,

the more that they inhale the smoke.

You're much better off

without that old cough,

and finances that aren't a joke.

Postcards to President Trump

PETA Goes After Mary and Her Little Lamb -- The Loner in the White House -- A Small Town Newspaper

To the dismay of wool proponents who tout their eco-friendly credentials, they have landed on the wrong side of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The animal-rights group recently erected billboards in Boston and New York’s Times Square that display a nude picture of actress Alicia Silverstone with the phrase “Leave Wool Behind” across her backside.

WSJ

Bless the naked little lamb

who is taken from its dam,

sheared of comfort, warmth, and peace;

all so we can wear its fleece.

Don't you fret, my lamby dear;

soon no longer will they shear

off your fleecy wool for cloak --

prices charged will leave them broke!

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Put these trend lines together, and you are left with a picture of the U.S. stepping back from the world, while other countries—friend and foe alike—step in to fill the void. Much of this picture is the result of President Trump’s America-first impulses increasingly coming to the fore . . . 

WSJ

The White House is leaving behind

all of our friends, once aligned

to keeping our back

from sneaky attack -- 

so now our diplomacy's blind.

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“I am exactly like Mark Twain,” Russell said, continuing to type. “Except he was famous, talented and worked hard.”

LATimes

Newspapers are dinosaurs; why won't they go away?

The internet has all the news, and you don't have to pay.

No small town paper editor is gonna make a diff;

and what they print is usually of baseball or who is stiff.

If Mark Twain could see newspapers today, I think he'd cry;

they'd never print his story of Miss Jefferson's glass eye.

The Gig Economy -- Integrity in Journalism -- Who Can Afford Disneyland Anymore?

Earlier this decade, many researchers and journalists fretted that the gig economy was taking over the way people work.
WSJ

Economies that have gone gig

make the experts flip their wig.

But it turns out to be jive;

people love their 9 to 5.

Hustle ain't a trending deal;

most prefer their boss's heal.

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This is especially true in journalism, where integrity-above-reproach is the one characteristic reporters should cherish above all others. Because in the end, it all comes down to the million-dollar question: “How much is my integrity worth?” A million dollars? Fifty dollars? Something in between?

by Mark Saal for the Ogden Standard-Examiner.

A virtuous writer will spurn

hyperbole, though they may churn

facts and opinions

as Fourth Estate minions 

that often gives readers heartburn.

*****************************************

Only months before the opening of its $1-billion Star Wars expansion, the Disneyland Resort announced price increases of up to 25% for daily tickets, annual passes and parking.

The increases, which took effect Sunday, come less than a year after the resort adopted price hikes of up to 18%. Under the latest increases, the cheapest daily ticket will be more than $100. Daily parking prices are rising to $25 from $20 — a 25% increase.

by Hugo Martin for the LATimes

To get into Disneyland now
will take all your savings, and how!
To guarantee parking
a loan needs earmarking.
For meals try Purina Dog Chow.


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Postcards to President Trump

Coconut Oil and Other Faded Fads

HONG KONG—Coconut oil prices have dropped by more than half over the past year as the commodity, which is high in saturated fat, has fallen out of favor in kitchens and factories.
by Lucy Craymer for the WSJ

The oil of the coconut once held great charm;

twas used in the kitchen without any harm.

Great for fried chicken and curries deluxe,

I think that they even put some in Starbucks.

But now it's diminished; it's bad for your health.

And so great plantations have lost all their wealth.

Triglycerides come and triglycerides go;

the public is fickle about oleo.

Pumpkin seed oil was once top of the hill;

now it no longer gives chefs any thrill.

Soybean oil is suspect on such levels

that people have claimed it is pressed by red devils.

Corn oil, canola, and rapeseed are viewed

as fatty assassins that should be tabooed. 

Peanut oil? Don't even mention that word;

it's only for frying a whole turkey bird.

Now olive oil's good, but its calorie count

comes in at a terrible chubby amount.

Palm oil is killing the rain forest trees.

And sesame oil is attractive to fleas.

Pistachio oil will turn ev'rything green.

Cocklebur oil is not good for your spleen.

Cod liver oil is beyond human pale.

Cottonseed oil makes smoked oysters taste stale.

It's back to the basics if you want to fry

meat and potatoes, or southern fruit pie;

so saute your foodstuff, including Swiss chard,

in pure melted tallow or maybe some lard . . . 

haiku

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 For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the Lord; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him.  Psalm 12:5.

Puffing at the poor

and oppressing the needy

are vain before God

Rashida Tlaib

At a reception Thursday night for the progressive group MoveOn.org, Rashida Tlaib vowed that the new Democrat-controlled House would be focusing on ousting President Trump from office . . . "we’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna impeach the motherf-----.”

by Amy B. Wang for the Washington Post

Congress sits in Heaven, as it does down here on Earth.

And dear departed members are now meeting without mirth.

A woman fresh elected to those hallowed halls below

has used such vulgar cursing that the angel's eardrums glow.

Speaker of the astral House, the honest Tip O'Neill,

gaveled them to order and began his weighty spiel:

"Members of the House and Senate, guests in gallery;

I come before you now with a most dreadful tragedy."

"A female member of the House has language used this day

that devils would not suffer even their own imps to bray.

Upon the Earth the pure in heart are shocked and angry now.

So what does this angelic group propose to do, and how?"

Up shot Huey Long, 'The Kingfish,' from his downy seat.

He looked upon the multitude as if he had sore feet.

"Mah fellow members, ah declare this gal must be chastised

afore the carnsarn people down there make her canonized!"

"Point of order!" Fishbait Miller, Keeper of the Door,

yelled from center field as he did stride upon the floor.

"Censoring of members, though their language is quite shocking,

would our Constitution make a thing of rags and mocking!"

Then stood Daniel Webster, and the silence was intense

as he said "Let Donald Trump full justice now dispense!"

(And way up in the gallery, by Special Dispensation,

Lucifer did mutter "Trump will soon be at MY station.") 

The meeting was in uproar, members shouting left and right,

when suddenly a woman stood and quelled the noisy fight.

Long ago Montana sent her to her Congress seat;

J.P. Rankin is her name, and now she spoke with heat:

"I voted 'gainst the entry of our country into war,

not once but twice despite the deep intimidating roar.

I vote again for peace and understanding, not for hate.

Let us now be tolerant and simply watch and wait."

Henry Cabot Lodge did second Rankin's proposition.

Hubert Humphrey hugged her for her principled decision.

And so the heavenly Congress is now marking time to see

just what Rashida Tlaib means to modern history . . .