A man of many words

And he was a man of many words, and did speak much flattery to the people; therefore he led many of the people to do after the manner of his iniquities.
Mosiah 27:8

Never trust a flatterer; they have a tarnished heart.

They lead you on to folly and they're never very smart.

Tis better to repent of sin and think about your faults

than seek out any sweet talker and swallow all their schmaltz!

Verses from stories by Cecilia Kang, Christopher Ingraham, and Joseph Marks.

Cecilia Kang. NYT.

NEWSPAPERS CONTINUE TO DISAPPEAR

ACROSS THE UNITED STATES

@ceciliakang

My hometown rag has disappeared

since profit it no longer cleared.

It's not that writers I would nuzzle --

but I sure miss the crossword puzzle!

*********************

NEW SURVEY SHOWS RICH PEOPLE

HAPPIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

 @_cingraham

Money don't buy happiness,

or so I have been told.

But still I wouldn't mind a bit

if I had lots of gold.

Subjected to the trials of wealth,

I think I could contrive

to smile a bit at my Monets

while chewing on endive.

************************************

TRUMP AND HIS DEFENSE SECRETARY

CAN'T GET THEIR STORIES STRAIGHT.

@Joseph_Marks_

Iran is such an awful place;

a sinkhole of the human race.

So when the Prez says they attack,

then Esper better have his back --

instead he feigns like he don't know

about invasions set to go.

No wonder Trump has gotten sore,

when his own staff won't lie no more!

Verses from Stories by Dennis Overbye, Sean Sullivan, and Jon Levine

Dennis Overbye. NYT.

CLOSEST STAR TO EARTH ABOUT

TO BLOW ITS TOP!

@overbye

Betelgeuse is one strange star,

full of molten cinnabar.

Galvic rays from center core

bombard planets by the score.

And some kind of weird persona

dances on the white corona.

Actually, it's all a fib --

science tempts me to ad lib.

What that distant orb may do

won't keep me from a barbecue!

***************************

ANTI-WAR CANDIDATE BERNIE SANDERS

SAYS AMERICA SHOULD PULL ITS 

HORNS IN!

@WaPoSean

Cannon fodder ain't the way

I would wish to spend my day;

I'm not happy in the least

messing with the Middle East.

Bernie, if you truly can

foster peace -- then I'm you're man.

But I fear if you're elected

all your goals will be neglected,

since the White House seems to brake

even those most wide awake.

*************************

BRIT ROYALTY REFUSES 

TO USE SEAT BELTS!

@LevineJonathan

Careless Queen Elizabeth,

we'd hate to see you crash

and turn yourself into a bowl

of bloody Windsor hash.

Be kind to all your subjects

and please buckle up right now

before you hit the road again

and into Big Ben plow!

We create our own destiny

Now I would that ye should see that they brought upon themselves the curse; and even so doth every man that is cursed bring upon himself his own condemnation.
Alma 3:19

Hard to hear as it might be,

each man creates his destiny.

If he (or she) refuses to

obey the laws they know are true,

they're cursed in many diff'rent ways --

in health, in mind, in wealth, in gaze.

But when a sinner (and that is me)

returns to God's felicity

by humble sorrow and real grief

they'll always find exact relief.

Verses from Stories by Nicole Perlroth, Reis Thebault, and Peter Holley.

Nicole Perlroth. NYT.

RUSSIAN HACKERS GROW BOLDER

WHEN INTERFERING WITH AMERICAN

VOTERS

@nicoleperlroth

When you vote remember please

that Russians push most of the keys.

If they don't like the choice you make

they have a better one that's fake.

Persistent voters who complain

will soon be labeled as insane,

and taken to a quiet 'camp'

where through the swamp they gaily tramp.

TEXAS REFUSES TO PROCESS ANY

MORE REFUGEES.

@ReisThebault

1. Down there in the Lone Star State
2. immigrants have met their fate;
3. "We don't want you here at all!"
4. is what Texans like to call.
5. "Furriners like you annoy --

so git back there to Illinois!"

OLDER TECH WORKERS IN SILICON VALLEY

STRIVE FOR YOUTHFUL APPEARANCE

WITH PLASTIC SURGERY

@peterjholley

In the Valley Silicon

youth is what they're all bent on.

Wrinkles give your age away;

and should your hair start to gray

they'll say that you have lost your bloom

and must go work in the mail room.

So get a facelift PDQ,

or else your job becomes doo-doo!

Upon your children

Behold, my beloved brethren, I speak unto you these things that ye may rejoice, and lift up your heads forever, because of the blessings which the Lord God shall bestow upon your children.
2 Nephi 9:3

My head is sunk upon my breast;

my cares deny me of my rest.

The world is closing in, it seems,

and optimism is but dreams.

But then I see a child at play,

and suddenly my weary day

regains its savor as I recall

the Lord has great regard for all --

and though my load is hard to lift,

my children are an active gift!

Verses from stories by Nicholas Fandos, Kayla Epstein, Kim Bellware, and Jada Yuan.

Nicholas Fandos. NYT

MCCONNELL/PELOSI FEUD DEEPENS

@npfandos

Like cats and dogs, these two contend

and so much energy expend

that Congress functions even less

and finds time only to digress.

If we can't send them to their rooms,

we ought to swat them with some brooms.

*************************************

LATEST TEXT MESSAGE HOAX: "YOU'VE
BEEN DRAFTED -- REPORT IMMEDIATELY!"
@bellwak  @KaylaEpstein

Although I'm over sixty-five I'm drafted, so it seems;
and soon I will be fighting 'gainst those Arabic regimes.
There's just one thing I'd like to know before I march away --
should I bring my wheelchair for the imminent D-Day?

*******************************
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE'S SPOUSES
GET USED TO THE SPOTLIGHT.
@jadabird

I never ran for president;
I guess I never will.
My wife left me so long ago,
but I still feel the chill.
You cannot be the president
without you have a spouse;
there is no room for bachelors
up there at the White House.
So I just sit and watch the news,
and do not give a hoot.
Unlike my ex, when things get loud
I now can hit the mute . . .