Timericks from stories by Tom Burton, Sam Schechner, and Jesse Newman.

Creator of the 'timerick.'  Tim Torkildson. 

FDA Pulls Emergency Covid-19-Use Approval for Two Malaria Drugs Touted by Trump
@TomBurtonWSJ

Anything that Trump okays/is probably just mayonnaise/The nodding heads with noses brown/that prick their foreheads on his crown/are doing us a lot of harm/and lack their leader's crusty charm/If Trump says 'stop' then I say 'go'/His 'wait' is my 'Geronimo!'


Once Pariahs, Location-Tracking Firms Pitch Themselves as Covid Sleuths
@samschech


Location tracking firms/are chasing all our germs/Like Santa's own doodad/they note our good and bad/The data they collect/they then start to dissect/with ev'ry new furlong/my soul is their ping-pong.

Why Milk’s Best Sales in a Decade Won’t
Save Struggling Dairy Farmers
@jessenewman13


The dairy farmer is my pal/for he provides the rationale/for ice cream sundaes, buttered toast/the cottage cheese on which I coast/May God save dairies and their ilk/cuz I recoil from almond milk!

To do good continually

. . . which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually.

Mosiah 5:2

A change wrought in my heart begins

as I repent of all my sins,

and stifle ev'ry inclination

to evil and abomination.

Thou, O Lord, art good to me --

cannot I thus so follow thee

to do as much good as I can

to those I call my fellow man?

Let righteousness my study be

as I strive to serve faithfully!

Timericks from stories by Tiffany Hsu, Joseph Goldstein, and Gerry Shih.

Fox News Host Tucker Carlson Loses More Advertisers
@tiffkhsu


Disney says 'No thank you, Tuck'/T-Mobile says he's out of luck/Soon Mr. Carlson will so lack/a sponsor that he'll go right back/to asking all the livelong day/if he can join the CIA.



She Survived the Coronavirus. Then She Got a $400,000 Medical Bill.
@JoeKGoldstein


Chinese soccer superstar calls for ouster of Communist Party, stunning nation.
@gerryshih


There once was an athlete named Hao/who Xi Jinping did disavow/His comments caused fear/then did disappear/quite buried by Beijing's long plow.

Pride and Craftiness

. . . to stir them up in remembrance of their duty, and that he might pull down, by the word of God, all the pride and craftiness and all the contentions which were among his people . . .
Alma 4:19

Stir me up, O Lord, I pray

to keep in mind thy holy way.

And when I'm tempted off to stray,

help thoughts of thee with me to stay.

I am contentious, often so --

and pride makes my forgiveness slow.

And I like using all my guile

to put my neighbors oft on trial.

Thy word alone, in love and peace,

is all that can bring me release

from imps and devils of malaise.

Elseways I'm a hopeless case!

Timericks from stories by Isaac Stanley-Becker, Liz Clarke, and Allan Sloan

Fox News removes manipulated images from coverage of Seattle protests.
@isaacstanbecker

A network like Fox is too big/to give a hoot or care a fig/if photos mislead/and cause truth to bleed/Miraculous when they renege.



The Confederate flag long has flown in the face of NASCAR’s hopes for broader appeal.
@lizclarketweet

Johnny Reb is long since dead/so why's his flag still in our head?/It's time to tear it down for good/It never stood for Robin Hood . . . 


Don’t think a great stock market means we’ve got a great economy.


The greatest fraud and masquerade/is done by Wall Street when they trade/When stocks go up they wear a crown/then blame the Fed when stocks go down/I'd rather keep my money snug/by hiding it beneath the rug.

Photo Essay: Postcards mailed to President Donald Trump, Editor Emeritus Dan Kelly, Science Reporter Dennis Overbye, and Maestro Steve Smith.

Mailed to:  Maestro Steve Smith

Mailed to: Science reporter Dennis Overbye

 Mailed to:  President Donald Trump

Mailed to:  Editor Emeritus Dan Kelly.

Filled with Joy

And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them.

Mosiah 4:3

A flood, a spasm, so complete

is God's tremendous joy

that I am left to wonder why

my heart with sin I cloy.

When peerless comfort I possess

through Christ's atoning blood,

still am I attracted to 

the things of trash and mud!

Increase my faith, O Lord my God,

and help me to repent,

so once again fit revelry

I'll make on my ascent!

Timericks from stories by John Schwartz, Dan Lamothe, and William Booth.

Where’s Airborne Plastic? Everywhere, Scientists Find.

@jswatz

Microplastic is diverse/and the news keeps getting worse/In our water, in our air/maybe in our underwear/Ersatz motes are infiltrating/the very act of populating!

U.S. military faces a reckoning on how to handle its Confederate symbols without provoking Trump.

@DanLamothe

The Pentagon puts up with hooey/to keep Trump from going kablooey/Confederate symbols/are floated on gimbals/while black soldiers holler out 'Phooey!' 

Winston Churchill statue is put in a protective box . . . 

@BoothWilliam

Like a surly Christmas gift/Winnie's given a face lift/In a gray box he resides/confusing all the new tour guides/When agendas run amok/ev'ryone acts like a schmuck.

Photo Essay: Postcards to my President, and to other Persons of Interest.

To:  President Donald Trump

To:  Reporter Fred Melo. PiPress.

To:  Sen. Mitt Romney

To:  Sir Robert Reed, Esq. 

Photo Essay: Postcard to my President. Vol. 36