Photo Essay: Postcards to my favorite reporters, and to President Donald Trump.

To:  President Donald Trump

To: Reporter Rory Satran. WSJ.

To: Reporter Tim Carman.  WaPo.

To:  Reporter Sarah Needleman. WSJ. 

Timericks from stories by Sarah Needleman, Sarah Mervosh, Maura Judkis, Jacob Gallagher, and Kim Severson.

Tim Torkildson, creator of the 'timerick' and alleged Mob boss.

Hash Browns With a Side of Hand Sanitizer: What Going to a Restaurant Is Like Now.

@saraheneedleman

When dining al fresco beware/the frumulous furious stare/of those wearing masks/who suddenly asks/where's YOUR veil, you anchovy pear?

Bars, Strip Clubs and Churches: U.S. Virus Outbreaks Enter Unwieldy Phase

@smervosh

Think I'll go to church today/It's full of germs -- what's that you say?/Then how about a little snort/The virus there will too cavort?/A strip club, then -- I might as well/get sick while going straight to hell.

Who will solve the great fireworks mystery, and will we ever sleep again?

@MauraJudkis

All across this acrid land/loud fireworks are in demand/The people do not want to vote/with little bombs they do revolt/The night is full of bursts and blasts/by suchnsane enthusiasts/Insomnia, you're here to stay/I think I'll move to Uruguay.

The Mullet is Back. Like It or Not.
@jacobwgallagher

And so the world of stylish hair/dreams of mullets in nightmare/Looking like a horse's mane/mullets always were insane/Now they're back/and I'm appalled/I wish the whole wide world were bald.


Ballpark peanuts, a classic summer treasure, have been benched.
@kimseverson

Gone are the goobers, gone from the game.
Pandemic life just got awfully lame.
The stadium's silent, with dust devil whirls;
The smell of roast peanuts as rare as black pearls.
What I wouldn't give for those big salty nuts
as I told the umpire he was a klutz.
I guess to the market I'll go for a bag
and eat 'em while watching more Netflixing slag.

Like a cedar in Lebanon.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Psalm 92:12

O, may I flourish like the tree

in summer green continually.

I want to grow in stature royal,

and to the best be always loyal.

O Lord please nourish my design

to live and work by light divine.

I'm just a seedling in thy sight;

help me to cultivate the right!

Timericks from stories by Rory Satran, Alex Leary, and Amy Goldstein.

Tim Torkildson, inventor of the 'timerick' and author of the bestseller "How to Avoid Swink."

‘They Ate Their Friends!’: Butterfly Kits Backfire.

@rorysatran

In Nature the rules are severe/and life becomes pretty austere/The weak are a snack/The strong will attack/So parents, watch out for your rear!

After Tulsa Rally, Trump Heads to Arizona, Wisconsin.

@learyreports

IF you think a rally is a safe place to converge/folks may soon be gatherin' to sing for you a dirge/Any politician who promotes it surely merits/being thrown into a hole with hungry rabid ferrets.

Income emerges as a major predictor of coronavirus infections.

@goldsteinamy

The rich keep getting richer/and the poor keep getting sicker/Nothing improves health quite like/your very own stock ticker/So if you are a pauper/then I hope that you have bought/a quiet little corner/for your likely graveyard plot.

Photo Essay: Postcards to My Favorite Reporters. Vol. One.

To:  Isabella Kwai.  NYT.

To:  Kate Conger.  NYT. 

To: Natalie Andrews.  WSJ.

To:  Sha Hua.  WSJ. 

Photo Essay: Postcards. Vol. 100

To:  Reporter John Schwartz

To:  Senator Mitt Romney

To:  Old Head Emeritus Rob Reed

To:  Broadcaster Jordana Green.

Our father also spake many things unto them

 And now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of teaching my brethren, our father, Lehi, also spake many things unto them, and rehearsed unto them, how great things the Lord had done for them in bringing them out of the land of Jerusalem.

2 Nephi 1:1

When fathers speak with godly love

and testify of God above

their children have a goodly chance

of taking but a righteous stance

when on the smutty plains of life

where all is greed and hate and strife.

So fathers keep in mind your call

to help your children rise not fall!

Photo Essay: Postcards. Volume 99.

To:  President Donald Trump

To:  Reporter Jason Zinoman

To:  Reporter Jennifer Graham

To:  Reporter Ellen Gamerman 

The P.P.P.

WASHINGTON— Bowing to bipartisan pressure in Congress, the Trump administration said it would release the names of borrowers who received Paycheck Protection Program loans of $150,000 or more, accounting for about 75% of funds lent through the program.
WSJ

The times were troubled and impure,

and biznesses were left unsure

if they could operate at all

as they did slow down to a crawl.

They let all their employees go

and sent their files to Kokomo

(for Kokomo was haven to

great shredding sheds that smelled of glue.)

The breadlines went so long that folks

boiled bark and twigs from nearby oaks

and fed it to their children till

they grew acorns and got quite ill.

At this point good old Uncle Sam

decided on a bold program:

He'd give each bizness such a loan

as would increase testosterone.

The hope was that with money flush

employees back to work could rush

and win a paycheck once again --

to which employers said 'amen.'

And so the PPP was born,

to give out money like popcorn.

Each bizness drooping in the land

was given many thousand grand.

But strange to say, with all that dough,

most workers stayed on long furlough;

they weren't brought back, or if they were

they only worked part time for sure.

Cuz corporations filled with bloat

did pile aboard this gravy boat.

They used the money to reward

themselves, and workers stayed ignored.

The Treasury Department knew

that somehow they had got the screw.

But sitting still on their behind

did give them grateful peace of mind.

Mnuchin and his canny crew

refused to say how much or who

was getting all the loot to spend;

full privacy they did defend.

But Congress, roused from their torpor,

sat up and gave out with a roar:

"We wanna know who got the cash!"

"In case their heads we'd like to bash."

And did Mnuchin cave right in,

and all the info quick unpin?

I think you know the answer, chum;

he's keeping things completely mum.

"Someday" he promises with ease,

"We will release all dates and fees."

"But until then we must protect"

"the data -- have it double checked."

So if you really wanna know

who got all Uncle Sam's nice dough

the only tip you ought to take

is go and jump into the lake . . . 

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3:3

Lonely is the path they trod,

those who do not follow God.

They do not think unity

is a crucial quality.

Nephites learned at their sad cost

when their concord they had lost

that no nation can survive

with dispute in overdrive.

Spare us, Lord, from foolish squabble,

as our country starts to wobble!