Prose Poem: Storage.

 

I don't know about you,

but I decided to go into permanent

storage in July.

I mean, once they said

you had to not only wear a mask

but also put on a hair net

and goggles

I knew it was time to step back into

my closet -- where I had spent

many happy hours as a child

pretending to be lost in a 

treasure cave.

It was easier than I thought.

I mean, like, my built in designer

closet was already furnished with

a bathroom, kitchen, and orangery.

So all I did was step inside one balmy

July day, turn the key in the lock,

and settle down to a luxurious and

total isolation.

So far I have managed to knit

a life-size Holstein cow,

train silverfish to yodel,

and taught myself how to spin ripe quince

into flannel.

I understand that ninety percent 

of the world's population

now stays in their closets 

full time.

Good for them.

I personally will not 

be coming out again

until the Great Lakes

is drained to make room

for wind farms.

Tuesday's Timericks.

 

‘The recovery will be stronger and move faster’ if government spending supports the economy ‘until it is clearly out of the woods,’ says Fed chairman.  (WSJ)

"The patient won't recover without aid that lasts for years"

said the Finance Doctor (to the banks' tremendous cheers.)

Government expenditures are flying up so high

that Icarus is left behind -- a smudge upon the sky.

Who doesn't want free money? is the cry heard round the land;

just find the nearest ATM and give it the command!

Tens and twenties, c-notes, and green thousand dollar bills

keep our fam'lies going and will open up the mills.

I don't know where the money comes to fuel this ample spree;

maybe that old Fed Reserve has grown a Christmas tree.

And underneath it day by day the lettuce and hard cash

drops down from St. Nick's winging sled with satisfying crash.

I guess if worst does come to worst, and we are pauperized,

we can form a beggar's guild and all be unionized.

Trump Took $70,000 in Tax Deductions for Hair Care. Experts Say That’s Illegal.  (NYT)

As long as that yellow hair waves/never will we become slaves/It may cost a mint/but there's no skinflint/who doesn't love how it behaves.

Trump says stimulus relief negotiations over until after election, pulling back from aid talks.  (WaPo)

Relief talks are over, so Trumpy proclaims/He's tired of Congress's partisan games/He sez when he wins the election he'll start/to show once again that he's got a big heart/Till then the blue collars that his bedrock make/can follow his counsel to "Let them eat cake."

TImerick: CDC Updates Covid-19 Guidelines, Acknowledging Virus Can Spread Via Tiny Air Particles (WSJ)

 

When you're with the CDC/you can change a policy/without batting any eyes/or be cautious of surprise/Tell the world that black is white/Say that day is really night/This week viruses can spread/only on a crust of bread/Next week you can change your mind/saying they are unconfined/Maybe Pixie Stix will cure/some old microbe's deadly spoor/Street cred is of no concern/there is fun in each u-turn/Let us toast the CDC/for their stunning flummery!

Timerick: "Trump Remains Hospitalized as Doctors Give Mixed Signals on Health." (WSJ)

 

Doctors are not diplomats/and temporizing drives them bats/They do not like reporter's pokes/Their dander doubtless it provokes/And they are not too organized/and can't agree who's authorized/Each one a god in his own sphere/suspicious of competing peer/No wonder that their prim reports/are no more clear than smoky quartz/There's only three things they can say/that would make sense in any way/Trump is better, Trump is worse/or stays the same; no need for hearse/And just a sidebar to this strife/why don't we hear about his wife?

Coronavirus Surge in Mail Voting Most Likely to Lead to More Rejected Ballots. (WSJ)

 

I mailed my ballot in last week;

my postman then began to shriek.

He told me there was postage due

and all my stamps were missing glue.

The envelop was inside out

and went by way of young cub scout.

I used red ink instead of black;

my signature looked like a yak.

I doodled on the ballot, which

gave the judges all a twitch.

I used a check mark, not an X,

making counters nervous wrecks.

They said my address was not right;

I must be higher than a kite.

Neglecting all my p's and q's

was not a justified excuse.

So up the river I was sent

for choosing the next President!

****************************

And from the Peanut Gallery at the Wall Street Journal comes this response from a subscriber who gives his or her name only as 'Grouchen B.'   

"Tim, if you think you're being funny or clever, trust me, you fail on both accounts.  This is a serious issue, and as someone who will be voting by mail/absentee, I understand why many are confused about what goes into which envelope.  It isn't intuitive here in Minnesota.  And if my 85 year old mother were still alive, and she was smart and still sharp, but she would have needed help to figure it out."

Family

 

Henry B. Eyring.

"Much of what I know I learned from my family."

Henry B. Eyring

If you never learn from fam'ly/if you spurn their expertise/it will be just that much harder/to find any lasting peace/For God created fam'lies/to provide a child with poise/discerning who speaks wisdom/and who just produces noise. 

Healed.

 

President Russell M. Nelson

"The Savior will heal your broken heart."

President Russell M. Nelson

Our murky yesterdays recede/as from our anguish we are freed/by none but Savior, Son of God/who with omnipotence is shod/He will prevail in all our cares/as we confess ourselves his heirs.

Today's Timericks.

 

Since the Rose Garden ceremony introducing President Trump's Supreme Court pick, many people in his orbit have tested positive for coronavirus.  (WSJ)

Step into my Rose Garden, the President invites/come and see the viruses and other pretty sights/If you run a fever and your pulse begins a-slidin'/We will gladly blame it on that nasty Mr. Biden!

Early Works by Edward Hopper Found to Be Copies of Other Artists.  (NYT)

There once was an artist named Hopper

who didn't mind telling a whopper;

He suffered no weakness

about his uniqueness --

which kept him from being a pauper.

China’s mealtime appeal amid food supply worries: Don’t take more than you can eat.  (WaPo)

China and famine are very old friends/Hunger on Beijing quite often descends/Sad history teaches neither Ming nor old Mao/knew how to stop it with guns or with Tao.

This Unique Time

 

President Russell M. Nelson.

"I pray that we as a people are using this unique time to grow spiritually."

President Russell M. Nelson.

In the belly of the whale/when he didn't have to bail/Jonah changed his status quo/and to Nineveh did go/Now that life is just weekends/let us too make our amends.

Timericks from the News Today.

 

Advertisers are mindful of the nation’s mood, offering patriotism during wartime and nostalgia during recessions. Covid-19 offers a new challenge. The nation’s biggest brands are still searching for the right tone.  (WSJ)

Advertisers push RELIEF/as the nation faces grief/Next they advertise RELEASE/encouraging a bogus peace/RECOVERY is then proclaimed/with many brands too loudly named/Lastly, they must fill the gaps/as marketers confront RELAPSE.

After the kids go to bed, the grown-ups are drinking and smoking pot to distract themselves from the hellscape that is pandemic parenting. (NYT)

Parents boozing in the night/offers an instructive sight/Nurturing is now excuse/for caregivers to cut loose/Raising kids is just too tough/without an intermittent puff.

Trump’s coronavirus quarantine could mean more time for tweeting. (WaPo)

Is it fair or is it meet/that Trump may have more time to tweet?/His button punching's now a threat/If it increases, we'll regret/creation of the Twitterverse/as something that makes life adverse.