A bright recollection

 

The celestial clock is beating;

my time to repent may be fleeting --

As bright recollections

of my imperfections

I know Christ can help be receding.

Today's Timericks

 

Early voting is the thing/of which I will gladly sing/Minds made up; the public votes/separating sheep from goats/Lines are long, but devil take it/Democracy -- you just can't fake it!

What's the smell of outer space?/Is it something we'll embrace?/Like a rose or like a skunk?/Or is it completely bunk?/Me, I doubt it's very smelly/I hope it's like a kosher deli.

The mind of America shrinks/people are tired of thinks/They like to be told/to bend or to fold/God's starting all over with skinks. 

I liked to step on bugs a lot/until by mother I was caught/she told me it was inhumane/to cause another creature pain/I wonder if she'd feel the same/about those White House pests of shame?

In Thailand police are divided/some think their leaders misguided/no protestors shrink/which makes the cops think/the government may be lopsided.

What kind of a person denies/a citizen's most cherished prize/by blocking her vote/with force or stale quote/Such persons we should ostracize!  

Liberty and freedom versus fraud and deceit

 

Deceit and fraud, effective tools,

can make the public act like fools.

True liberty and freedom, though,

come from God to us below.

Nurtured with due gratitude

they keep our happiness renewed.

Today's Timericks.

 

Leaders like to thump their chest/bragging 'bout who is the best/Xi Jinping says Uncle Sam/Korean troops went on the lam/cuz his troops were so eye-popping/imperialist dogs they were all stopping/Such baloney goes quite well/with what Beijing now wants to sell.

Thailand's generals decline/taking too hard of a line/with the young folks who demand/freedom for their native land/Though skeptical that they're benign/I take it as a hopeful sign/that the junta now in power/senses they are past their hour.

File a lawsuit -- do it now/it's the new trend anyhow/corporations and small fry/in the courts their luck will try/better sue before your sued/be the one to start a feud/if you win you get big loot/and if you lose you're destitute.

Let us run on pure sunshine/or perhaps a wind turbine/fossil fuel is so passe/it has had its greasy day/motorists are out of luck/if they drive a diesel truck/I'm with Biden; let's change course/instead of cars I'll drive a horse!

Newspapers are shrinking fast/how much longer can they last?/Writers get the old heave ho/even at a one horse show/readers now on Google gag/instead of their own local rag. 

Fearless Facebook scruples not

to look into its soul a lot;

 righteously policing ads

that are evil, wicked fads.

But the outside world remains

shut out despite all its pains.

Only their own CEO

can the whistle ever blow.

The Strangeness of Iowa.

 

I worked as news director at two different radio stations in Iowa a while back.

The state was ripe for a Trump takeover, long before the man even thought of a White House wassail.

The fact that Iowa is now facing financial Gotterdammerung like most other states does not surprise me -- nor does the fact that it never required most businesses to close down surprise me.

Iowans put dill pickle slices in their bottles of beer.

They eat something called an 'Iowa Chop,' which is so huge that it would feed a family of five in Oregon for a month of Sundays.

They dote on corncob jelly. I interviewed a passel of old farm wives for their secret recipes -- which basically were just corn cobs, sugar, pectin, and cinnamon sticks. 

I ran a call-in show and got into big trouble by pooh poohing the idea that only one cob of corn grows on each stalk. It's true -- but it's one of those things, like something in a Twilight Zone episode, that shouldn't be.

Iowa farmers distill their corn into ethanal, then feed the leftover mash to their cows. The mash is still highly alcoholic, but because cows have three stomachs they never keel over or get the dt's. And their farts would float the Hindenburg. 

A farmer once claimed to have dug up the skeleton of an elephant on his land; I went out to interview him and he showed me the skeleton of a horse while looking straight at me and saying it was a baby elephant.

For all these reasons, and many more, I regard Iowa as inhabiting another dimension that only dimly shadows our own -- so their economic woes will not affect them like any other state.

Iowa, in fact, will soon sign a trade agreement with the Republic of Upper Volta, trading corn for copra, and is going to vote solidly for Trump again -- then secede from the Union, kidnapping Trump and taking him with them to the South Pacific Garbage Patch.

And if they don't, my name isn't Ish Kabibble. 

Those who repent are the covenant people of the Lord

 

Keep your promises to be

blessed for all eternity.

Race or creed or Good Book learnin'

ain't enough to keep from burnin'!

Today's timericks.

 

COVID-19 vaccines ain't invented yet at all/but people seem to think we'll have one later on this fall/is it optimism that has fueled this fairy tale/or is it something in the air that citizens inhale?

If Biden wins the White House/the transition may be rough/Trump has indicated/that he won't be a cream puff/If I were Mr. Biden/I don't think that I would test/Trump's goodwill without the wearing/of a Kevlar vest.

Congress isn't happy unless some poor CEO/is waiting in the lobby for a grilling, dontcha know/Common folk are poison to their PR aspirations/since lobbyists are snobs and won't give out with the donations.

I wish they had a testing kit that told me when in-laws/were about to drop in and start yakking without pause/or indicated that a landlord's words were only bluff/They should get Alexa to perform that kind of stuff.

The mute button in use tonight/should keep the controversy light/But if I know our sneaky Chief/it will not give us much relief/He'll have the FBI bypass/the circuitry and start to gas/Iran can't lead us more astray/than Donald Trump does anyway!

Lord, how is it done?

 

"Lord, how is it done?" I asked in amaze;

my sins no more scathing me like a fierce blaze.

The Savior then told me what all men will know;

from His blood alone all forgiveness must flow.

The Deep State.

 

There's more things in both Earth and Hell

than mere philosophy can tell.

The Internet has set us free

with liberating fantasy!

Reality's beside the pale;

it's like a monkey reading braille.

Our media, so poorly run,

gives mountebanks a lot of fun.

Constraints and good taste disappear;

it's all out war (and with good cheer.)

All Democrats eat babies raw.

And segregation need not thaw.

A license not to wear a mask

is all some people ever ask.

Yes, readfakes tell us black is white

and laundered narratives backbite.

Grim ANTIFA has run amok;

it's like a cyber garbage truck.

The Russians and the Chinese fix

our own elections with their tricks;

but we prefer to think 'Deep State'

all of our rights will abrogate.

Our leaders try to use this fiend

but only get their thick clock cleaned.

Then QAnon gets in the act,

and warps the truth and rapes the fact.

But do we care or do we chafe?

We just go on like all is safe.

Integrity has been debunked

and honesty the test has flunked.

We want big chiefs who do not grow

but give a better raree show.

It's bread and circus time again,

and we're all in a big play pen.

The only hope that I can see

is lie detectors constantly.

Cuz otherwise the real McCoy

will just remain a whipping boy. 

Today's Timericks. (Dedicated to the memory of Kevin Bickford.)

 

I gotta have more vitamins; I'm feeling mighty poor/I'll gulp 'em all, from A to Z, my sparkle to restore/I'd rather have a vitamin than hamburger and fries/so I can live to see another COVID-lit sunrise.

The President wants Biden tarred and feathered right away/and so he's pushing Barr to find the means and nasty way/to indict the candidate and sling a little crap/hoping some will stick so Biden loses in a snap.

I'm lovin' all my neighbors, no matter how they vote/After the election, I'll neither sulk nor gloat/I value their affection, and hope they feel the same/Together we will work hard the Canadians to blame.

Mitch McConnell is so mean/he'd step on a jelly bean/He's so stingy that he'd vote/Noah be denied raincoat/Something soured him for good/his heart is made up of driftwood.  

Now I hear that belching cows/cause the atmosphere to rouse/and that feedlots with their stink/put us on a climate brink/Let's raise crickets now instead/so we don't all wind up dead. 

It ain't a good idear, my friend/an interview to rudely end/when it is Sixty Minutes that/you treat like loathsome forest scat/Trump's wits sure have gone AWOL/when he disses Lesley Stahl. 

In the green state Tennessee/voting is sheer lunacy/If you wear the wrong t-shirt/you are treated just like dirt/Better cast your ballot nude/so the judges won't be rude.

The wide open spaces are calling to me/Escaping the virus is priority/I figure those cowpokes in Bozeman don't cotton/to anything that makes a body feel rotten/I'll buy me a ranch and raise sagebrush, you bet/riding the range on my trusty baguette.