Halloween
no green
allowed
snow
is the sincerest form of
winter
Me, spend lots of money just to kick start world affairs?/Merchants, do not hold your breath I'll make such fool repairs/I'm closer now than ever with each mother-loving cent/I'm so cheap I brew my beer by letting bread ferment!
If there's one thing that is fixed/it's Girl Scout cookies can't be nixed/Whether thin mints or trefoils/I love those goodies from the goils/COVID-19 never halts/the way shortbread my life exalts!
I'm an old coot, yessiree!/I cannot hear; I cannot see/I'm cranky, thinking I'm the boss/and I subsist on applesauce/So websites, do not mess around/make 'em easy, not profound/Otherwise I will revert/to reading chiseled words on chert.
I know that paywalls help the trade/but no wall yet was ever made/that boys like me could long ignore/so we will climb them evermore/The thrill and sense of minor fraud/gives a lift to this tightwad!
You gotta raise mazuma when you're running for a seat/and it ain't just that your opponent you must always beat/Your staff is large and you must travel many many miles/and get some plastic surgery to guarantee those smiles/And sticky fingers siphon off a goodly share, no doubt/But then, in politics, you never DO find a Boy Scout.
Saving sentient beings is the purpose of the news/with truth and justice rising high above all shabby ruse/The Epoch Times newspaper does exemplify that fact/with stories that are phony as a Tiffany that's cracked/You'd think their circulation would be plummeting, but then/it's hogwash that sells copies say all good newspaper men.
The celestial clock is beating;
my time to repent may be fleeting --
As bright recollections
of my imperfections
I know Christ can help be receding.
Early voting is the thing/of which I will gladly sing/Minds made up; the public votes/separating sheep from goats/Lines are long, but devil take it/Democracy -- you just can't fake it!
What's the smell of outer space?/Is it something we'll embrace?/Like a rose or like a skunk?/Or is it completely bunk?/Me, I doubt it's very smelly/I hope it's like a kosher deli.
The mind of America shrinks/people are tired of thinks/They like to be told/to bend or to fold/God's starting all over with skinks.
I liked to step on bugs a lot/until by mother I was caught/she told me it was inhumane/to cause another creature pain/I wonder if she'd feel the same/about those White House pests of shame?
In Thailand police are divided/some think their leaders misguided/no protestors shrink/which makes the cops think/the government may be lopsided.
What kind of a person denies/a citizen's most cherished prize/by blocking her vote/with force or stale quote/Such persons we should ostracize!
Deceit and fraud, effective tools,
can make the public act like fools.
True liberty and freedom, though,
come from God to us below.
Nurtured with due gratitude
they keep our happiness renewed.
Leaders like to thump their chest/bragging 'bout who is the best/Xi Jinping says Uncle Sam/Korean troops went on the lam/cuz his troops were so eye-popping/imperialist dogs they were all stopping/Such baloney goes quite well/with what Beijing now wants to sell.
Thailand's generals decline/taking too hard of a line/with the young folks who demand/freedom for their native land/Though skeptical that they're benign/I take it as a hopeful sign/that the junta now in power/senses they are past their hour.
File a lawsuit -- do it now/it's the new trend anyhow/corporations and small fry/in the courts their luck will try/better sue before your sued/be the one to start a feud/if you win you get big loot/and if you lose you're destitute.
Let us run on pure sunshine/or perhaps a wind turbine/fossil fuel is so passe/it has had its greasy day/motorists are out of luck/if they drive a diesel truck/I'm with Biden; let's change course/instead of cars I'll drive a horse!
Newspapers are shrinking fast/how much longer can they last?/Writers get the old heave ho/even at a one horse show/readers now on Google gag/instead of their own local rag.
Fearless Facebook scruples not
I worked as news director at two different radio stations in Iowa a while back.
The state was ripe for a Trump takeover, long before the man even thought of a White House wassail.
The fact that Iowa is now facing financial Gotterdammerung like most other states does not surprise me -- nor does the fact that it never required most businesses to close down surprise me.
Iowans put dill pickle slices in their bottles of beer.
They eat something called an 'Iowa Chop,' which is so huge that it would feed a family of five in Oregon for a month of Sundays.
They dote on corncob jelly. I interviewed a passel of old farm wives for their secret recipes -- which basically were just corn cobs, sugar, pectin, and cinnamon sticks.
I ran a call-in show and got into big trouble by pooh poohing the idea that only one cob of corn grows on each stalk. It's true -- but it's one of those things, like something in a Twilight Zone episode, that shouldn't be.
Iowa farmers distill their corn into ethanal, then feed the leftover mash to their cows. The mash is still highly alcoholic, but because cows have three stomachs they never keel over or get the dt's. And their farts would float the Hindenburg.
A farmer once claimed to have dug up the skeleton of an elephant on his land; I went out to interview him and he showed me the skeleton of a horse while looking straight at me and saying it was a baby elephant.
For all these reasons, and many more, I regard Iowa as inhabiting another dimension that only dimly shadows our own -- so their economic woes will not affect them like any other state.
Iowa, in fact, will soon sign a trade agreement with the Republic of Upper Volta, trading corn for copra, and is going to vote solidly for Trump again -- then secede from the Union, kidnapping Trump and taking him with them to the South Pacific Garbage Patch.
And if they don't, my name isn't Ish Kabibble.
Keep your promises to be
blessed for all eternity.
Race or creed or Good Book learnin'
ain't enough to keep from burnin'!
COVID-19 vaccines ain't invented yet at all/but people seem to think we'll have one later on this fall/is it optimism that has fueled this fairy tale/or is it something in the air that citizens inhale?
If Biden wins the White House/the transition may be rough/Trump has indicated/that he won't be a cream puff/If I were Mr. Biden/I don't think that I would test/Trump's goodwill without the wearing/of a Kevlar vest.
Congress isn't happy unless some poor CEO/is waiting in the lobby for a grilling, dontcha know/Common folk are poison to their PR aspirations/since lobbyists are snobs and won't give out with the donations.
I wish they had a testing kit that told me when in-laws/were about to drop in and start yakking without pause/or indicated that a landlord's words were only bluff/They should get Alexa to perform that kind of stuff.
The mute button in use tonight/should keep the controversy light/But if I know our sneaky Chief/it will not give us much relief/He'll have the FBI bypass/the circuitry and start to gas/Iran can't lead us more astray/than Donald Trump does anyway!