Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Today's timericks.

 



There's leftovers aplenty from Xmas Day extant/I nibble on them so much I feel like a gas plant/Another choc'late orange? A slice of Gouda cheese?/Throw out that turkey dressing -- and dump the eggnog, please!


I shopped at Sears when just a boy/ to get a bike or mitt or toy/and when a suit became a must/they sold me one that didn't rust/Dependable, I always thought/I can't explain their creeping rot/But since I'm so opinionated/I'll say it's hubris accumulated.


In England sugar, fat, and salt/will soon come to a screeching halt/The Brits have taken up the cry/"Eat that stuff and you will die!"/Good luck with that, when fish & chips/means more to them than scholarships.  


People keep me in their prayers/or send me cute teddy bears/No one thinks to send me cash/when my health begins to crash/Money cannot cure disease/but it softens ev'ry sneeze. 

The well need no physician

 



The well need no physician,

but that is not my case;

although I say devotions,

I droop at rapid pace.

My body now reminds me

how fleeting life can be,

when a wee small virus

doth make a wreck of me!

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Today's timericks

 



The government likes telling me just what I ought to eat/according to their experts it is watercress and beet/any other foodstuff is adulterated scree/let's talk about it over lunch down at the KFC.


I think that I shall never see/another big screen loud movie/that super hero derring-do/is streaming now on pay-per-view/It's just as well; I hate mayhem/and get my kicks with TCM. 


I like vetoes, yes I do/they tell Trump what he can do/with his egotistic hype/no wonder all his tweets are tripe!

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Prose Poem: The Intermeddlers.

 





I saw the quail hurry down the alley

from my patio window.

They brought the smell of cedar.

Of lively powdery blue berries

that turned brown and cracked

when I gently placed them 

in my riven ceramic bowl.


I collected them off the cedar

on my long walks to and from.

Hearing the quail's faltering cry.

With the sunset dragging down

the mountains into dust at my feet.


Where the quail go is no concern of mine.

But I feel sorry they must hurry.

What can a quail have that is worth

hurrying to? says I --

a man sitting in a faded recliner who 

is done hurrying to anything.


When I was younger I did more 

hurrying away from than hurrying to.

Straying from rather than headed to.

And my friends and the wife of my

youth know this well

and they want to talk and talk and talk

about it with me.

The intermeddlers.


They would take a snail out of 

its shell to improve its life.

Their helping hand pinches.

Their breath is stale and self righteous.

Strafing my comfort zone.

Please go away, Yenta.

Leave me trace my dreams

with Pixy Stix.



Today's timericks.

 



Lookit, Ma -- I'm driving fast/with no hands a-steerin'/these new cars are super smart/there's no use a-fearin'/I can text or talk or nap/there'll be no collision/heck, I might as well sit back/watching television!


When you have a lot of tykes/better travel on some bikes/fam'ly vans are overpriced/what they charge is more a heist/take it from a man with kids/I oughta have been raising squids!


The digital yuan is now here to stay/making it easy for Chinese to pay/for chopsticks and moon cakes and pickled bai cai/now they'll be eating the whole livelong day/belly aches soon will disable them all/then Uncle Sam can watch Xi Jinping fall.

The Professor & the Poet. An Email Correspondence.

 


BACKGROUND:

I sent my prose poem 'How to cook an old boot' to an English professor friend of mine.

In return, he rearranged my work to make some kind of academic point, which I am still trying to figure out.

His version went like this:

(These items cannot be purchased 

a kettle of enraged water. 

add a dollop of sour cream 

Add the good wishes of 

Happy New Year.  

and a back scratcher from the 

Autumn mopery. 

and a set of ground up spats. 

and stay there; you're of no further use here.) 

But hey --  

For a thicker sauce, rummage through 

Summer folly. 

Gently slide the boot into 

Spring wattles. 

in all the seasons until 

New Pains Bring New Opportunities. 

in order to   

loosen the hobnails.  

In Peru there is a charming tradition 

it is mellowed and ripe: 

it will then last for many years. 

Just before serving,  

Leftover boot can be hung 

on the clothesline to dry out; 

locally take the next flight to Belgium 

Never serve boiled boot to friends 

of letting the children walk around in 

One that has marinated 

online, so if you haven't got them 

or current job. 

or relatives that don't know your middle 

Probably longer than your marriage 

Start with an old boot. 

the boot after it has been cooked 

the boys down at the plant 

to make a bouquet garni. 

Welcome Wagon. 

who complain about their allergies 

Winter pips. 

your laundry for a pair of dirty socks 

name. 


I responded with what I thought was a harmless ditty:

poets and their critics dance

round each other in a trance;
when the critic won't retreat,
the poet calls him 'obsolete.'


This elicited the following from him:

Alas. This proves that my more direct approach was needed, which you should already have. I honestly would like real conversation on the subject, not playful pretending.

I'm reading you as saying to me, "Back off, dummy! As a poet, I am beyond criticism." That may not be what you intend. But it's what it feels like to me.


To which I responded as follows:

as an educator you have to analyze literature -- that's your job (and your joy, I realize)

but as a writer I just want to write it and let other people enjoy it (or not -- that's their privelege.)
E.B. White wrote about the analysis of humor, saying it's like dissecting a live frog -- there may be some interesting things
discovered, but the end result is the poor frog dies.  I don't claim to write anything that can be dignified as literature, but my feelings are 
still the same -- leave my damn frog alone.
I also freely admit that I am both complimented by your continuing interest in my work, and at the same time feel threatened by your refusal to bow down before it as an acolyte and instead insist on using your finely honed academic and scholastic tools to examine it, deconstruct it, tinker with it, and, ultimately, show my work back to me as something less than magical.
If I can't feel my writing is magical and miraculous I don't want to bother with it anymore  -- I suppose I must be bipolar, after all; for I have moments of great exultation when I feel like Handel when he was composing the Hallelujah Chorus (if that story is true) and then I have other moments when my work seems nothing but a shoddy raree show not fit for a two-bit carnival.
THere is no middle ground for me -- especially since I never get paid for any of it.
If I were being paid to produce poetry I think I could conceive of myself as a journeyman/artisan. And take feedback more reasonably.
I have grown accustomed to playing the role of literary mountebank and poseur == so when someone makes a sincere effort to discover gems among my dross it makes me uncomfortable and diffident. Not to mention cranky and stubborn. And, as the above so amply proves, prolix. 
Ever thine, tt


So that's where matters stand as of today.
I realize that great editors can bring out the greatness in poets.
But is he a great editor, and am I a great poet?
On the first point, perhaps. One the second -- not on your tintype. 

No cunning fable is the Christ

 




No cunning fable is the Christ,

to shackle and confuse.

He lived and died for all of us,

salvation to suffuse

throughout our world as loving grace

to never be displaced --

assailed by devils and by men,

he's stronger still and chaste.

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Many Important Writers Email Me Personal New Year's Greetings. Just a Sampling.

 

Tim Torkildson is a noted personality -- he thinks . . . 
Here is a sampling of New Year's Greetings
from just some of his many admirers
in the Fourth Estate.


I am out of the office and will be slow responding to emails. For immediate assistance, please contact Jo Chung at joanna.chung@wsj.com


--

Julie Wernau
REPORTER
The Wall Street Journal
M: +1 917-821-8503 
E: julie.wernau@wsj.com 
A: 1 South Wacker Drive #2100, Chicago, IL
Dow Jones


I'll be back Monday, Dec 28. Merry Christmas!

Volto segunda, dia 27 de dezembro.  Feliz Nata!


--
*Paulo Trevisani*
Reporter
Dow Jones Newswires/The Wall Street Journal
New York
+1 917 387 7341
@ptrevisani



If it's important news — you know what I mean — please alert Jim
Windolf at jim.windolf@nytimes.com


--
-
Edmund Lee
corporate media reporter
The New York Times
edmund.lee@nytimes.com
desk: +1 212-556-7688
cell / Signal: 917-853-0224
Twitter DM: @edmundlee <https://twitter.com/edmundlee>




I am on vacation and checking email infrequently. I'll be back at work in 2021. Happy Holidays. And please, wear a mask.


--
Sheryl Gay Stolberg
Washington Correspondent (covering health policy)
The New York Times -- Washington D.C.
(202) 862-0366 (office)
(301) 332-0991 (cell/Signal/Confide)
Twitter: @SherylNYT



Chang, Elizabeth

9:51 AM (33 minutes ago)
to me

I will be on a break until Jan. 4. Best wishes for the new year. 





I'll be on vacation until Monday, December 28, and will respond to your message when I return. For environmental policy related news, please reach out to Lisa Friedman at lisa.friedman@nytimes.com.
Thanks, 
Coral 



Thanks so much for your email.

I'm now on annual leave over Christmas and will be checking emails
only sporadically. I'll be back on Dec. 29th.

Many thanks, and merry Christmas!
Katie

--

Katie Deighton
REPORTER, THE EXPERIENCE REPORT
[image: The Wall Street Journal] <https://www.wsj.com/>
*Please note I am currently based in the U.K.*
M: +44 (0)7435 828580 <+44+(0)7435+828580>
E: katie.deighton@wsj.com
*T: *@DollyDeighton <https://twitter.com/dollydeighton>
[image: Dow Jones] <https://www.dowjones.com/>




Hello,

I'm away for the holidays and might not see your note. I'll be back in the office 01/04/2021. Wishing you a happy, but above all, safe, holiday season. 

~Alejandro Lazo



--

Alejandro Lazo

REPORTER • SAN FRANCISCO BUREAU


Hi, there:

I will be out of the office until Monday Jan 4. I will get back to you when I return. Thanks! Sadie


--
Sadie Gurman
WASHINGTON BUREAU
The Wall Street Journal
O: 202.862.9273 | M: 202.897.9033
E: sadie.gurman@wsj.com | T: @sgurman
A: 1025 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 800 | Washington, D.C. 20036
Dow Jones



Thanks for sending me an e-mail. I'm going to be offline Friday, Dec. 25 and through the week of Dec. 28-Jan. 1, not always checking messages regularly. If you need to reach someone immediately regarding urgent news you may email Patrick McGroarty at patrick.mcgroarty@wsj.com or Jesse Newman at jesse.newman@wsj.com. I will be back online regularly Monday, Jan. 4.
-Jacob
 



--
Jacob Bunge
Reporter, The Wall Street Journal
Chicago, IL
312 750 4117 (office)
312 307 4879 (mobile)
Jacob.bunge@wsj.com
@jacobbunge



Hello, I am out of the office. If you need to reach someone immediately regarding news please email Patrick McGroarty at patrick.mcgroarty@wsj.com.




--

-------

Jesse Newman
The Wall Street Journal
Mobile: +1 312 697 9418
Email: jesse.newman@wsj.com
Twitter: @jessenewman13


Prose Poem: How to cook an old boot.

 




Start with an old boot.

One that has marinated

in all the seasons until

it is mellowed and ripe:

Winter pips.

Spring wattles.

Summer folly.

Autumn mopery.


Gently slide the boot into

a kettle of enraged water.

Add the good wishes of

the boys down at the plant

and a back scratcher from the

Welcome Wagon.

(These items cannot be purchased

online, so if you haven't got them

locally take the next flight to Belgium

and stay there; you're of no further use here.)


Just before serving, 

add a dollop of sour cream

and a set of ground up spats.

For a thicker sauce, rummage through

your laundry for a pair of dirty socks

to make a bouquet garni.


Never serve boiled boot to friends

who complain about their allergies

or relatives that don't know your middle

name.

In Peru there is a charming tradition

of letting the children walk around in

the boot after it has been cooked

in order to  

loosen the hobnails. 


Leftover boot can be hung

on the clothesline to dry out;

it will then last for many years.

Probably longer than your marriage

or current job.

And then you'll probably be reduced

to eating shoe laces and KIWI polish.

But hey -- 

New Pains Bring New Opportunities.

Happy New Year. 



Having your garments spotless

 



I pray my garments spotless stay

as I approach the Judgement Day.

All earthly stains I must eschew

or else my options will be few

when at last my greatest Friend

will ask some time with me to spend.