Monday, January 11, 2021

Today's Timericks.

 



When I get sick and doctors see/it isn't like what's on TV/No Marcus Welby pats my back/Of sexy nurses there's a lack/I'm sent from room to room until/receptionists present the bill/The next time I get sick I'll stay/at home and work on macrame.  


When you put your faith in fools/you become their willing tools/Demagogues take great delight/in fomenting fear and fight/Their followers who break the law/to chain gangs go in Arkansas/Patriots are not coerced/their common sense to keep submersed. 


I never lie at interviews for jobs and other things/My life's an open book, including all the warts and pings/A man who doesn't tell the truth when he is obligated/has his duty and his conscience certainly vacated/I cherish truth above all else, and keep it crystal clear/And that is why I haven't worked in many a long year.


Because of the praise of the world

 



A lust for the praise of the world

is one of the sins I must fight;

for glory and honor I yearn --

it is such a sad appetite!

It's better to quietly work

unrecognized and doing good

for strangers and fam'ly alike

around my own small neighborhood.


Sunday, January 10, 2021

An episode when I should have been killed or seriously injured, but was not.

 


We are free to think we are free.



There is no free will. This thing happened; it could not not have happened; and now you have to waste your time reading it. Out of curiosity, friendship, or boredom. It makes no difference, you have no choice in the matter. This clickbait is inevitable.


I was driving down a long stretch of Interstate in Florida. I don't remember the year, but I must have still been married, and Amy and the kids were not with me. It was early in our marriage, because I was still learning the ins and outs of driving a car. Amy had taught me how to drive in Bottineau, North Dakota, so I could get a raise.


I was uncomfortable as a driver, not only because I was still new at it, but because the Florida landscape made me feel uncomfortable. The loblolly pines lining that section of Interstate looked like giant alien stalks ready to inundate the world with some kind of cancerous spore. The people I moved among and talked to seemed nothing but behind-the-scenes workers at a theme park -- when their shift was over I expected them to board a bus back home to Arkansas. The long stretch of Interstate made me feel like Tantalus just before he was assigned to his boulder. 


The rear right tire blew out while I was going about seventy. The car swerved crazily until I got it back under control. I took my foot off the gas pedal and slowly came to a stop, only halfway off the road. I didn't know if it was legal to park all the way off the Interstate. There were signs I'd seen, I thought, that said it was illegal to do so. So I was only halfway off the road. Cars began whizzing by, honking furiously at me. Narrowly missing me. Thank goodness it was the middle of the afternoon on a sunny day.


I knew how to change a flat tire. I'd done it before, in the safety of my own driveway. But something didn't seem right to me, as I began removing the tools and the spare tire. The cars and trucks were passing too close to me. People were screaming out their windows at me as they zoomed past. But there was somewhere important I had to go, someplace I needed to be; so I squatted down to take the lug nuts off the blown tire. I was fatalistic; when you blow a tire on an Interstate you take your life in your hands. There's no other choice.


Then an old truck pulled off the road behind me. A white man and a black man in bib overalls got out and came up to me.

"Can I hep yew?" asked the white man. 

By now I was sweating and convinced I was about to die, so the face I turned up to him was one of fear and agony.

He smiled down at me, his teeth stained brown.

"Don't be afraid, son. We ain't a gonna hurt you."

He pointed at the black man next to him.

"Charlie here is deaf -- he don't hear nothing and cain't hardly speak." he said reassuringly. 

"Yeah" I mumbled, getting up. "I could use some help."

So the white guy and the black guy told me to get behind the wheel while they pushed my car all the way off the road. Then they fixed my flat for me. And drove away. I thought of offering them money, but only had three dollars on me for my dinner that night. So I just shook their hands and told them thank you. They waved at me as they drove away.


This thing was destined to happen to me. If not then, then at some later time. If not there, then in some other place. You are reading this even though it turned out to be a waste of time. It only proves one thing: there is no free will.




After the passion is over.

 



After the passion is over.

After the folly's secured.

After the lawyers are paid off.

And children have gone and matured.

None of it really can matter;

a wisp of your essence remains,

keeping me both sad and happy --

at liberty yet in great chains. 


Hear ye him.

 



Above the tumult and the din

speaks the Father deep within;

"Hear ye him, my children dear,

to cease with strife and sickened fear."

"Heed my Son, who on a tree,

bought for you true victory!"




Saturday, January 9, 2021

Today's Timericks.

 



Nixon with his sneaky tapes/traded wine for sour grapes/Reagan in his cowboy jeans/favored milk with jelly beans/I don't know what Trump prefers/except it's only fit for slurs.



 Shut up, Kim Jong -- why don't you try?/Cuz we've got bigger fish to fry/Your pipsqueak rants don't count at all/here upon the National Mall/Shut up, I say -- jump in the lake/and Trump supporters with you take! 



Italy is on the brink/they're going down the kitchen sink/Without a helping Rockefellah/there will be no more bruschetta!


P.T. Barnum would enjoy/with bitcoin to slyly toy/When manipulation rules/most investors play at fools/Money for old rope, says I/is what bitcoin does supply. 






Stay yourselves and wonder

 



Stay yourselves and wonder

at the ripening events

that this world in chaos

now currently presents.

Perhaps a bit more godliness

and much less of a wrangle

will take us from the abyss

where now currently we dangle.

Friday, January 8, 2021

House Democrats to Introduce Articles of Impeachment Against Trump (WSJ)

 




Napoleon had his Waterloo,

now Trump is in a kindred stew.

Not for him the loving cup;

he'll find instead the jig is up.

He shot his mouth off once too oft --

this time his landing won't be soft.


Money from Home

 



From Florida to Texas, from the San Fernando fields,
from meat plants in Nebraska and warehouses of windshields;
trabajadores are remitting home their sweat-encrusted yields.

La Paz has many mothers, as Tampico has its tias,
getting their pozole from the land of muchas frias.
Sons and daughters from Campeche keep such warm ideas.

Norteamericanos, if your places were reversed,
WOULD  you be as willing to have your pay so disbursed?
 (Gringos by warm sentiment have never been coerced!)
 


He knows all thy thoughts,

 



What a man proposes in his heart is not obscured

from the God of Heaven -- even when it's not matured.

Let no seed of evil in imagination sprout --

The Lord is always happy to help you to weed it out!

Otherwise on housetops all the world will see your shame

burning with a deep and loathsome acrid rancid flame.