Life's Sweet Bouquet

 "But it is not given that one man should possess that which is above another, wherefore the world lieth in sin."

Doctrine & Covenants. Chapter 49; Verse 20. 

In the daily scramble for a piece of coin I find

many who devote themselves to leaving most behind.

Upon their hoard of silver, land, and whimsical bitcoin,

they simply want to pile up more, although they must purloin.

Then they tower over us, possessing might and main;

spreading sin and folly while they play at suzerain.

Even Solomon the wise, when given riches great,

eventually gave in to lusts that sealed his gloomy fate.

Oh Lord I too am tempted to accumulate a pile,

then sit at ease and never stir or go the second mile.

But Jesus told the rich young man to sell all that he had

and give the funds to those in need, the sickly and ill-clad.

So in thy loving kindness thou has kept my wallet lean --

Necessity has taught me to enjoy the navy bean,

and be content with modest means while sharing what I may

without the pomp and pretense that snuffs out life's sweet bouquet.

Today's Timericks: Draft report of GOP-backed ballot review in Arizona confirms Biden’s win

 

Republicans in Arizona/have treated Biden like a Jonah/Yet their very machinations/have destroyed their allegations/But will they spurn their shibboleth?/I'd say do not hold your breath . . . 

Sen. Grassley, the oldest GOP senator at 88, announces he will seek another term.

(WaPo)

Charles E. Grassley, 88/wants to tempt his hoary fate/He will seek another term/as a Senate pachyderm/To avoid a shift chthonic/he will need a damn good tonic!

Greener pastures: Marijuana jobs are becoming a refuge for retail and restaurant workers.

(WaPo)

Dude, no apron do you need/when you work around the Weed/No more lousy tips or grease/Pot is now the golden fleece/You'll make money like a pro/helping marijuana grow/packing it and shipping out/You'll be rich as Gates -- far out!

Haiku. ウズラのつつく種

 

The quail pecking seeds --

hurrying each tiny bite;

their hungry eyes black

ウズラのつつく種  --

それぞれの小さな一口は彼らの空腹の黒い目に反映されます

The quail pecking seeds --
their tin sheet sobbing resounds
through the alleyway
ウズラのつつく種
彼らのすすり泣く金属の叫びが路地に響き渡る

The quail pecking seeds --
they push away the sparrows
while probing the cracks
ウズラのつつく種
彼らは深い亀裂を探りながらスズメをいじめます

Haiku. 白米をすすぐ

 

Rinsing the white rice --

cold water stings my fingers --

I'm hungry right now

白米をすすぐ

冷たい水が私の指を刺す
今お腹が空いています


Rinsing the white rice --
some brown grains go down the drain -- 
but the black ones stay
白米をすすぐ
茶色の穀物のいくつかは排水溝を下って行きます
米の黒い粒ではありません


Rinsing the white rice --
green scallions would be tasty --
so would the Pope's nose
白米をすすぐ
ねぎはご飯によく合います
教皇の鼻もそうだろう

Today's Timerick: I'm drowning in the gene pool

 

I'm drowning in the gene pool of my ancestors -- gadzooks!/This is something they don't teach you in the science books/Sure, they mention traits from parents that we might assume/but not how it becomes the path to our own tragic doom/I've got my father's piggish eyes, and his blooming girth/my mother's nose and lack of any pleasant sort of mirth/my receding chin is just a gift from Uncle Jim/My last name's unpronounceable -- I use a pseudonym/My Viking forebears drank their mead until it turned to flab/and I am challenged with their own familial bar tab/The bags beneath my eyes are shared with cousins by the score/and now I am afflicted with the damn ancestral snore/I started out a comely youth, with wit and charm and looks/and now my visage is a troll's, along with warts -- gadzooks!

Today's Timericks. Biden confronts extreme heat, a silent climate killer. (WaPo)

 

No one ever lost a vote/because we wore a winter coat/but when the temp is way too high/we start to scream "Let's dump this guy!"/If Biden can't control the heat/the next election, he'll be beat/But King Canute found to his cost/bossing nature's a cause lost!

A couple wore masks inside a Texas restaurant to protect their newborn son. The owner kicked them out.  

(WaPo)

When in Texas please don't ask/anyone to wear a mask/or use one in a greasy spoon/It will make the owner swoon/Texans are as tough as nails/and soon will grow prehensile tails.

Pompeo repeats ‘zombie’ claim that Obama gave Iran $150 billion.

(WaPo)

The former Trump administration/is nothing but an aberration/Truth to them is what their boss/liked to call mere apple sauce/Pompeo is such a case/He lies with such a poker face/If I spread fibs like him I hope/my mouth is washed out with lye soap!

Haiku. 詩人は便秘です

 

Counting the quarters --

still not enough for laundry;

my socks in the sink

洗濯をするためにコインを数えています --

靴下を流しで洗う


A cool autumn night --
ghostly headlights and damp leaves --
beer can in the street
涼しい秋の夜 --
幽霊のような車のヘッドライトと湿った葉 --
通りに空のビール缶


The wail of the train
drills through the night like banshees 
going to a grave
山を通る夜行列車の叫び-
退却する悪魔

Today's Timericks. Republicans maneuver to block vaccine mandates, undercutting a policy widely seen as an effective tool to end pandemic

 

Vaccination mandates cause/Republicans to flout the laws/Not for them this base command/that quells freedom in our land/So they cough and soon collapse/with their comrades blowing taps.

Wall Street sell-off intensifies with Dow sinking nearly 900 points on China, other economic worries.

(WaPo)

Here we go again; the Dow/is more mixed up than fresh chow-chow/First it rises; then it dips/it crumbles like potato chips/If I a broker were to be/I'd study laws on bankruptcy.

Climate change lets mosquitoes flourish — and feast — in Los Angeles.

(WaPo)

Nothing is impervious to/mosquitoes but the carcajou/or wolverine with shaggy pelt/upon the hot and dusty veldt/In Hollywood mosquitoes dine/on ev'rything but turpentine/The blood of starlets is quite sweet/but agents taste like luncheon meat.

Haiku. 詩人は頭痛がする

 

The green plant hopper

on my sunny patio

is greener than grass

日当たりの良いパティオの緑の虫は草よりも緑に輝いています

Sand in the spinach

grates between the teeth and tongue --

my hasty cooking

ほうれん草の砂が歯と舌の間をすりおろす --
私の料理は不注意すぎる


A baby sparrow
still begging mother for food --
this late in summer!
スズメの赤ちゃんはまだ母親に食べ物を頼んでいます --
この冬は何をしますか？

Today's Timericks. The days of full covid coverage are over. Insurers are restoring deductibles and co-pays, leaving patients with big bills.

 

Out across the landscape bleak/hear them holler, hear them squeak/Patients with such doctor bills/that they move to Hoovervilles/Covid kills in many ways/starving some in these grim days.

For years, the Netherlands has held the world title for having the tallest people on the planet. But new data from the office for national statistics suggests that the height of the average Dutch person is shrinking. And scientists are puzzled as to the reasons.  (WaPo)

The Dutch no longer scale the heights/giving us a case of frights/They do not loom or tower o'er/like prehistoric dinosaur/They've lost those inches, say the blogs/cuz they stopped wearing wooden clogs.

Southern Baptist Convention now requires coronavirus vaccines for new missionaries.

(Wapo)

When the gospel you must spread/better live than almost dead/God will bless the missionary/still, things just might get too hairy/Microbes can't tell saint from sinner/They could make the Pope their dinner.