Today's Timericks: As Trump hints at 2024 comeback, democracy advocates fear a ‘worst-case scenario’ for the country.

 

The Boogey Man is really true/and he will come to frighten you/If you are bad and hit your mum/down the chimney Trump will come/to pull your hair and scratch your face/then win a Presidential race.

"Ivory-billed woodpecker officially declared extinct, along with 22 other species."

This woodpecker is now extinct/Another species we hoodwinked/If we keep up this reckless pace/then Nature is our welfare case/I wish we would exterminate/a certain GOP magnate . . . 

"Alabama governor defends plan to use covid relief funds to build new prisons."

Covid ain't the problem, child/Here in Mobile folks is wild/shootin', stabbin', settin' fires/pullin' down the old church spires/So we got to lock 'em up/in a metal wikiup/Once we got 'em all in jail/we'll see about this virus tale . . . 

Haiku. 非常に多くのメール

 

So many emails --

can ten fingers handle it?

Better to chant "Om"

非常に多くのメール

指が死んでいるので、「オーム」と唱えます

So many emails

So little is said in them

So much time wasted

非常に多くのメール

何も言われず、彼らは私の時間を無駄にします


So many emails --
The mourning doves outside fly.
The wind hisses "Come."
非常に多くのメール
荒風の中、鳩と一緒に飛んでいきます

Today's Timericks: Senior Democrats are trying to craft a proposal to tax carbon — a potentially powerful weapon against climate change — that would not violate President Biden’s pledge to spare middle-class Americans from tax hikes.

 

Taxing carbon sounds ideal/in a world that isn't real/But such pixie dust won't fly/with our own Joe Sixpack guy/Any tax that sounds too green/no doubt will threaten gasoline/Let us tax instead hot air/that comes from ev'ry keen longhair! 

You’re going to be asked to prove your vaccination status. Here’s how to do it.

I went into my coffee shop/the manager told me to stop/She said I needed proof of vax/otherwise I could make tracks/So now I stay at home and drink/plain tap water from kitchen sink.

South Korea considers ban on eating dog meat, as pet ownership grows in the country.

Man's best friend in some locations/makes for hungry expectations/Curly tail and panting tongue/go into fine egg foo young/But pooch pate is on the wane/viewed as worse than acid rain/Crickets now are all the rage/sauteed with some ripe greengage.

Haiku. 毎日の通勤

 

The daily commute --

piling up coin for eyelids

that will close at last

毎日の通勤

ついに死んだら目を凝らすためにコインを持ち込む


The daily commute 
to a big empty office --
we are out of soap
大きな空のオフィスへの毎日の通勤
私たちは石鹸が不足しています


The daily commute --
birds have offices in trees --
mice in the dumpster
毎日の通勤
鳥は木に彼らのオフィスを持っています
鳥は木に彼らのオフィスを持っています

Haiku. 固ゆで卵の皮をむく

 

Peeling hard boiled eggs

Are the eggs bad or am I?

The smell of sulfur

固ゆで卵の皮をむく

硫黄の匂いは私か卵のどちらかが地獄に行くことを私に思い出させます

Ants on the sidewalk --
Stepping on their busy flow --
I am a killer
歩道のアリ
私はそれらを踏んで気にしません


The horse chestnut tree --
the leaves look so razor sharp --
they wouldn't slice fog
セイヨウトチノキ
葉はかみそりのように鋭く見えますが、霧をスライスしません

Life's Sweet Bouquet

 "But it is not given that one man should possess that which is above another, wherefore the world lieth in sin."

Doctrine & Covenants. Chapter 49; Verse 20. 

In the daily scramble for a piece of coin I find

many who devote themselves to leaving most behind.

Upon their hoard of silver, land, and whimsical bitcoin,

they simply want to pile up more, although they must purloin.

Then they tower over us, possessing might and main;

spreading sin and folly while they play at suzerain.

Even Solomon the wise, when given riches great,

eventually gave in to lusts that sealed his gloomy fate.

Oh Lord I too am tempted to accumulate a pile,

then sit at ease and never stir or go the second mile.

But Jesus told the rich young man to sell all that he had

and give the funds to those in need, the sickly and ill-clad.

So in thy loving kindness thou has kept my wallet lean --

Necessity has taught me to enjoy the navy bean,

and be content with modest means while sharing what I may

without the pomp and pretense that snuffs out life's sweet bouquet.

Today's Timericks: Draft report of GOP-backed ballot review in Arizona confirms Biden’s win

 

Republicans in Arizona/have treated Biden like a Jonah/Yet their very machinations/have destroyed their allegations/But will they spurn their shibboleth?/I'd say do not hold your breath . . . 

Sen. Grassley, the oldest GOP senator at 88, announces he will seek another term.

(WaPo)

Charles E. Grassley, 88/wants to tempt his hoary fate/He will seek another term/as a Senate pachyderm/To avoid a shift chthonic/he will need a damn good tonic!

Greener pastures: Marijuana jobs are becoming a refuge for retail and restaurant workers.

(WaPo)

Dude, no apron do you need/when you work around the Weed/No more lousy tips or grease/Pot is now the golden fleece/You'll make money like a pro/helping marijuana grow/packing it and shipping out/You'll be rich as Gates -- far out!

Haiku. ウズラのつつく種

 

The quail pecking seeds --

hurrying each tiny bite;

their hungry eyes black

ウズラのつつく種  --

それぞれの小さな一口は彼らの空腹の黒い目に反映されます

The quail pecking seeds --
their tin sheet sobbing resounds
through the alleyway
ウズラのつつく種
彼らのすすり泣く金属の叫びが路地に響き渡る

The quail pecking seeds --
they push away the sparrows
while probing the cracks
ウズラのつつく種
彼らは深い亀裂を探りながらスズメをいじめます

Haiku. 白米をすすぐ

 

Rinsing the white rice --

cold water stings my fingers --

I'm hungry right now

白米をすすぐ

冷たい水が私の指を刺す
今お腹が空いています


Rinsing the white rice --
some brown grains go down the drain -- 
but the black ones stay
白米をすすぐ
茶色の穀物のいくつかは排水溝を下って行きます
米の黒い粒ではありません


Rinsing the white rice --
green scallions would be tasty --
so would the Pope's nose
白米をすすぐ
ねぎはご飯によく合います
教皇の鼻もそうだろう

Today's Timerick: I'm drowning in the gene pool

 

I'm drowning in the gene pool of my ancestors -- gadzooks!/This is something they don't teach you in the science books/Sure, they mention traits from parents that we might assume/but not how it becomes the path to our own tragic doom/I've got my father's piggish eyes, and his blooming girth/my mother's nose and lack of any pleasant sort of mirth/my receding chin is just a gift from Uncle Jim/My last name's unpronounceable -- I use a pseudonym/My Viking forebears drank their mead until it turned to flab/and I am challenged with their own familial bar tab/The bags beneath my eyes are shared with cousins by the score/and now I am afflicted with the damn ancestral snore/I started out a comely youth, with wit and charm and looks/and now my visage is a troll's, along with warts -- gadzooks!