Hung with crepe, the people mourn
North Korea's unicorn;
Kim Jong's dad, that noble steed,
died ten years ago indeed!
So with great austerity
the nation bans hilarity;
no one laughs and no one smirks --
from generals to humble clerks.
If a chuckle is detected,
that poor fool is soon corrected;
he or she in durance vile
sits and frowns for quite a while.
Once a nation bans the laugh
you can write their epitaph.
Glad I am the USA
still can laugh its cares away!
When a war is looming and there's trouble overseas
America protects its apple pie and processed cheese
by shipping out an arsenal of guns and bombs and planes
to any random country for its frivolous campaigns.
And do we ask for payment for the stuff we send abroad;
Worth a kingly ransom, with none of it slipshod?
Like Santa and his pixies, we deliver it for free;
with never any tipping or gratuity or fee.
It used to be the Commies we were fighting far afield;
we plied corrupt dictatorships with rifles, tanks, and shield
to keep those awful Marxists far away from our pure shores;
they let the guns get rusty while they learned to make s'mores.
Today our foes are legion; Uncle Sam ain't got a friend.
We buy goodwill with ammo (and we really overspend.)
Meanwhile hackers congregate to take our country down;
military weapons are a meaningless playground.
We ought to send the debt collectors out to settle things;
let them dun outstanding bills and pull a couple strings.
Then we'd sure have peace on earth, with armies out of work.
Hawks would lose their pin feathers as generals go berserk!
Scorn the fatted calf;
bring out a green lettuce leaf
for my arrival.
太った子牛を酷評しなさい。 緑のレタスの葉を引き出す 私の到着のために。
No working from work;
I have my own thermostat
thank you very much.
仕事からの仕事はありません。
私は自分のサーモスタットを持っています
どうもありがとうございます。Grim dancing grannies
fight children and chess players
for some black asphalt.
厳しいダンスのおばあちゃん
子供やチェスプレーヤーと戦う
いくつかの黒いアスファルトのために。
a wayward band of
otters in Singapore now
scare pedestrians
วงดนตรีที่เอาแต่ใจของ
นากในสิงคโปร์ตอนนี้
ทำให้คนเดินเท้าตกใจ
I go no furtherthan my wide front doorfor food and dangerฉันไม่ไปอีกแล้ว
กว่าประตูหน้ากว้างของฉัน
สำหรับอาหารและอันตราย
under this moist groundsnakes pipes of leaden reposefor the dawdling.ใต้พื้นดินที่เปียกชื้นนี้
ท่องูของลีดพักผ่อน
สำหรับคนขี้งอน
the big bellied hen
smothers her chicks with dark feathers --
they scramble for air
大きな腹鶏
彼女のひよこを暗い羽で窒息させる-
彼らは空気を奪い合う
Just what can you buythat is worth the silent driftof one white snowflake?何が買えるの？
それは静かなドリフトの価値があります
1つの白い雪の結晶の？
The earth stops spinningat the poles and instead spinsfilthy dry cobwebs.地球は回転を停止します
極で代わりに回転します
不潔な乾燥したクモの巣。
Build a better trucker's cap
I put some gas into the tank
to drive myself to the blood bank;
where they buy plasma by the quart,
so I could pay my child support.
I will not eat fast food no more.
It's not my health, it's that I'm poor
and french fries cost more than I care
to spend on food -- I'll just eat air.
At work they've killed all overtime.
The price of stamps is now a crime.
A new car is beyond my scope.
I've turned into a misanthrope.
A hermit in the dark until
I can pay the 'lectric bill.
The only thing that's costing less
are nervous breakdowns from the stress.
I stopped off at my bank today;
some little fees I had to pay.
For running up a paltry bill
that was not covered by their till.
The teller gave me such a look;
she put me on a tenterhook.
The manager came out to scowl
at me like I was something foul.
A guy in a black ski mask swung
an ax that made me lose my tongue.
They surely would not punish me
for such a teeny tiny fee?
Up in heaven, where I went,
I saw it was no accident.
Accountants by St Peter's side
my overdraft would not let slide.
And so they sent be Down Below,
where flames leap with a fiendish glow.
In a thousand years, I guess,
my balance they will reassess.
And if I am not overdrawn
asbestos long johns I can don.
While with a quill I add up sums
as dragons nibble on my thumbs.
Beware, ye mortals, of what banks
will give you (and it's not their thanks!)
when you exceed their balance sheet.
It will not be the Mercy Seat!
Ron Johnson is a mighty man;