Today's Timerick: In Amsterdam, a community of floating homes shows the world how to live alongside nature

 

O if I could live upon a boat

and on the water gently float,

I'd be as happy as a clam

in Angkor Wat or Amsterdam.

The vapors blowing on my face

would all my cares quite soon erase.

With kelp and duckweed I'd consort,

and seining eels would be good sport.

Yes, I would wear a skipper's cap,

while studying an ocean map.

No mortgage would I pay the bank;

I'd force those guys to walk the plank!

My crew would be a salty bunch,

who never heard of soap or brunch.

They'd swab the deck and hoist a mizzin,

and to me they would have to listen.

I'd fish all day and dance with squid,

and know just what was meant by 'fid.'

Environmentally, you know,

I'd strike a green-flecked counter-blow!

A boat, a ship, a barge, a raft -- 

if I could have just any craft

that kept me off of terra firma

there'd be a glow upon my derma.

And like Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

I'd feel that I was suzerain!

Haiku: 寒い冬の雪

 

the cold winter snow

creeps underneath green pine trees

dusting brown pine cones

寒い冬の雪

緑の松の木の下に忍び寄る

茶色の松ぼっくりをまぶす

the cold winter snow

white in the slow-moving sun

the sparrows puff up

寒い冬の雪

動きの遅い太陽の下で白

スズメが膨らむ

the cold winter snow

cannot displace memory

of green spring perfumes

寒い冬の雪
メモリを置き換えることはできません
緑の春の香水の

Today's Timerick: North Korea ‘bans laughing’ for 11 days to mark the 10th death anniversary of former leader, Chairman Kim Jong Un’s father.

 

Hung with crepe, the people mourn

North Korea's unicorn;

Kim Jong's dad, that noble steed,

died ten years ago indeed!

So with great austerity

the nation bans hilarity;

no one laughs and no one smirks --

from generals to humble clerks.

If a chuckle is detected,

that poor fool is soon corrected;

he or she in durance vile

sits and frowns for quite a while.

Once a nation bans the laugh

you can write their epitaph. 

Glad I am the USA

still can laugh its cares away! 

Today's Timerick: Biden Administration Considers Sending Ukraine Military Equipment Once Bound for Afghanistan

 

When a war is looming and there's trouble overseas

America protects its apple pie and processed cheese

by shipping out an arsenal of guns and bombs and planes

to any random country for its frivolous campaigns. 

And do we ask for payment for the stuff we send abroad;

Worth a kingly ransom, with none of it slipshod?

Like Santa and his pixies, we deliver it for free;

with never any tipping or gratuity or fee.

It used to be the Commies we were fighting far afield;

we plied corrupt dictatorships with rifles, tanks, and shield

to keep those awful Marxists far away from our pure shores;

they let the guns get rusty while they learned to make s'mores.

Today our foes are legion; Uncle Sam ain't got a friend.

We buy goodwill with ammo (and we really overspend.)

Meanwhile hackers congregate to take our country down;

military weapons are a meaningless playground.

We ought to send the debt collectors out to settle things;

let them dun outstanding bills and pull a couple strings.

Then we'd sure have peace on earth, with armies out of work.

Hawks would lose their pin feathers as generals go berserk!

Haiku: 詩人は鼻をかむ

 

Scorn the fatted calf;

bring out a green lettuce leaf

for my arrival.

太った子牛を酷評しなさい。 緑のレタスの葉を引き出す 私の到着のために。

No working from work;

I have my own thermostat

thank you very much.

仕事からの仕事はありません。

私は自分のサーモスタットを持っています

どうもありがとうございます。

Grim dancing grannies

fight children and chess players

for some black asphalt.

厳しいダンスのおばあちゃん

子供やチェスプレーヤーと戦う

いくつかの黒いアスファルトのために。

Thai Khlong Poetry: กวีกำลังหิว

 

a wayward band of 

otters in Singapore now

scare pedestrians

วงดนตรีที่เอาแต่ใจของ

นากในสิงคโปร์ตอนนี้

ทำให้คนเดินเท้าตกใจ

I go no further
than my wide front door
for food and danger
ฉันไม่ไปอีกแล้ว
กว่าประตูหน้ากว้างของฉัน
สำหรับอาหารและอันตราย

under this moist ground
snakes pipes of leaden repose
for the dawdling.
ใต้พื้นดินที่เปียกชื้นนี้
ท่องูของลีดพักผ่อน
สำหรับคนขี้งอน

Haiku: 詩人はバターを塗ったトーストを食べています

 

the big bellied hen

smothers her chicks with dark feathers --

they scramble for air

大きな腹鶏

彼女のひよこを暗い羽で窒息させる-

彼らは空気を奪い合う

Just what can you buy

that is worth the silent drift

of one white snowflake?

何が買えるの？
それは静かなドリフトの価値があります
1つの白い雪の結晶の？

The earth stops spinning

at the poles and instead spins

filthy dry cobwebs.

地球は回転を停止します
極で代わりに回転します
不潔な乾燥したクモの巣。

Timerick: How a $6 Bass Pro Shops Hat Became a Fashion Trend

 Build a better trucker's cap

and reap a rich windfall.

People wear it ev'rywhere,

winter, spring, and fall.

They like the hayseed ambiance,

the 'good-ol-boy' design;

and if it costs six dollars;

why, it's really mighty fine!

I wish I had invested in a cap or coffee cup,

instead of wasting money in a blasted mustache cup!

Timerick: Inflation Hits Workers Already Worn Down by Covid-19

 

I put some gas into the tank

to drive myself to the blood bank;

where they buy plasma by the quart,

so I could pay my child support.

I will not eat fast food no more.

It's not my health, it's that I'm poor

and french fries cost more than I care

to spend on food -- I'll just eat air.

At work they've killed all overtime.

The price of stamps is now a crime.

A new car is beyond my scope.

I've turned into a misanthrope.

A hermit in the dark until

I can pay the 'lectric bill.

The only thing that's costing less

are nervous breakdowns from the stress.

Today's Timerick: Overdraft Fees Enrich Banks, and the Biden Administration Wants Less of That

 

I stopped off at my bank today;

some little fees I had to pay.

For running up a paltry bill

that was not covered by their till.

The teller gave me such a look;

she put me on a tenterhook.

The manager came out to scowl

at me like I was something foul.

A guy in a black ski mask swung

an ax that made me lose my tongue.

They surely would not punish me

for such a teeny tiny fee?

Up in heaven, where I went,

I saw it was no accident.

Accountants by St Peter's side

my overdraft would not let slide.

And so they sent be Down Below,

where flames leap with a fiendish glow.

In a thousand years, I guess,

my balance they will reassess.

And if I am not overdrawn

asbestos long johns I can don.

While with a quill I add up sums

as dragons nibble on my thumbs.

Beware, ye mortals, of what banks

will give you (and it's not their thanks!)

when you exceed their balance sheet.

It will not be the Mercy Seat!