Letter to our kids. Tuesday January 18. 2022.

 Hey Kids;

Your mother has been on my case for the last several months, wanting me to journal/keep a diary. As I explained to her, I only like writing for an audience. So I decided to resume these daily emails to you kiddies as a way to honor her request and keep my literary skills from rusting away. As I said yesterday, I’m pretty much only doing haiku from now on. It’s so obscure that no one can take offense at it. In fact, a reporter at the New York Times, John Schwartz, called one of my haikus today ‘nice.’ Which is a high compliment from any professional big city reporter. This is what I sent him:

an old skein of yarn --

golden bronze with long neglect;

stale wool smells like rice.

Does it make any sense? Not to me. I just wrote down impressions as they appeared in my mind from seeing a skein of yarn by your mother’s recliner.  By the way, did you know we have 2 brand new recliners now? Thanks to Sarah & Jonny. They sold us their old ones. The only word for them is a Thai word – “sabaay.” Which means comfortable and more than comfortable.

I was teaching your mother to speak Thai during our daily walks at the Rec Center, since we walk a good 35 minutes each time. She learned about 28 Thai words, and some simple sentence and question constructions, but as soon as I taught her how to say ‘I don’t want to’ (may ow) she started saying that to me every time I suggested we learn some more Thai. Which is okay – we find other things to talk about now.

We talk a lot about food. Your mother and I watched a YouTube video on how to make Irish soda bread together. Then we went in the kitchen and worked on it together.  I had previously tried to make Irish soda bread about a year ago but it turned out terrible so I dropped the whole thing. But there are days when I feel like I want to be doing more things with your mother than I am currently doing, and so I determined we would learn together and bake Irish soda bread together. Naturally enough, your mother did most of the work on the first loaf. Which turned out superb. You only need 4 ingredients: flour, baking soda, salt, and buttermilk.  Then I started making the loaves, which looked like misshapen troll heads. Still, they weren’t horrible. Now that I’ve had some experience I make a loaf each day. That runs into a lot of buttermilk! And buttermilk is getting scarce in the dairy section of supermarkets around here. I wonder why? Your mother pretty much concentrates now on desserts. She made some Cheerios marshmallow bars this morning that look mighty good. I’m going to have one with my late lunch/early dinner at 4 p.m.

Next I think we’ll tackle donuts. Again, I tried making cake donuts last summer. I bought the donut molds and special mix and everything. But again, they turned out very crumby. Literally – they fell apart before I could get them out of the mold. So your mother and I will watch some YouTube videos, take notes, and try it again. Maybe this weekend, when she doesn’t have to work at H & R Block and we don’t have any rewrites to do.

That is, if no one kidnaps her for rides to the airport or for shopping trips. As you can imagine there are a lot of old ladies in our building who don’t drive. Up until 3 weeks ago they didn’t bother Amy with requests for rides. But then one of ‘em asked for a ride to the SLC airport, and the damn broke. Now every time someone knocks on our door I get a cold chill down my spine, thinking somebody is going to steal Amy away from me for long hours of pointless and boring shopping. Maybe I’m being selfish and unrighteous, but there’s a bus runs regularly half a block away and there are several good Senior rideshare programs available that cost very little. So why take my bride away from me? A ride to church I wouldn’t mind – it’s only 3 blocks away.

Oh well, it just goes to prove once again that your mother is a much finer spirit than I am. She is always happy to honor a request for a ride, while I do nothing but grumble about it. It might be different if these hitchhikers paid her a little gas money . . . 

Well, at least we’ll get to watch one episode of Perry Mason together before she leaves for work this afternoon. I don’t know why, but the show keeps me enthralled – mostly by the look of the cars and the fashions from 60 years ago. The cars look like boats or rocketships and the ladies all wear white gloves and big ornate hates with feathers and ribbons. And the men all have skinny black neckties. Your mother and I cannot agree on the merits of Mr. Mason, as portrayed by Raymond Burr. During the intro he’s always looking up and giving a fiendish smile – I wouldn’t trust him with a bag of sawdust. But your mother insists it’s just a knowing and self-confident smile, meant to reassure the client. Me, I’m all for secretary Della Street and private detective Paul Drake. They are stand up guys – and gals. What we’ll do when we’ve finished watching  al the showsl on Amazon Prime I do not know – maybe learn how to clog dance together.  I tried to learn how to crochet with your mother teaching me, so we could do it together in the evening. But my eyes just can’t see well enough to count the loops. So I had to give it up. Still, your mother made me a pair of slippers. Very nice. Open-toed. 

Right now your mother is sitting next to me in her recliner, eating sauteed greens with a bison burger. It’s making me very hungry, but I’ll wait until the soda bread cools off enough to slice – then have a thick slice with some sausage gravy and a fried egg.

We live like kings and queens around here, dontcha think?

Taa-taa for now, my little gerrymanders.

Love, Heinie Manush.

P.S.  I’m emailing a photo of today’s loaf of soda bread to all of you separately.

Haiku: Tech Stocksが転落し、先週の損失が拡大

 

a sparrow tumbles

and the heavens roar madly --

not so with my cash.

スズメが転がる

そして天は狂ったように吠える-

私の現金ではそうではありません。

A laugh escaped once.

It was hunted down real quick

and served forty days

笑いは一度逃げた。

あっという間に追い詰められました

と40日間提供

A letter to our kids. Monday Jan 18 2022.

 Dear kids;

Well, your mother is in the kitchen right now. She’s making peanut butter cookies while talking on the phone to a Medicare huckster. I don’t know why she spends time with those apple knockers – they call her constantly, but don’t have anything to offer her that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. She will automatically get on Medicare on her birthday this coming April.

These telepests are always calling us old folks this time of year, cuz Medicare allows them the first 3 months of each year to sell their for-profit healthcare packages to gullible old folks. Your mother has now spent 32 minutes on the phone and been transferred 4 times to different so-called agents. I told her to hang up, but she don’t listen to me. As you well know! (It sounds like she is going to sign up with Humana – which is what I have.)

We continue to knock happily along together. The whole thing is still a wonderful miracle to me. I didn’t earn it and don’t deserve it. But I’m going to enjoy the h*ll out of it as long as it lasts! 

We’re doing 6 rewrites each week day for Adam – which nets us the grand total of 30 dollars a day. We’ve finally got a routine in place so it takes us about 20 minutes to process each rewrite.

We go to the Provo Rec Center twice each day. In the morning we swim, and in the evening we walk and work out on the machines. I’m down to 295 lbs now.

Your mother is back at H & R Block again for the next 3 months. She works from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Right now she works here in town, just 2 blocks from our apartment. But they want her to go down to work in Springville in a week or two. 

We do a lot of cooking for our Valley Villa neighbors. Today we’ve got a pork roast with parsnips in the slow cooker. Someone donated both the roast and the parsnips to us. Once Amy goes to work this afternoon I’m going to cook up some chicken livers we were given and use the blender to make liver paste to spread on bread and crackers. Yummo!

We were working on a novel together for a few weeks – but I’ve lost interest in it. I pretty much just write haiku nowadays. Here’s a sample:

the brown wooden fence --

a brown stone on the brown post;

the brown sparrow lands

The original haiku last line read ‘the brown sparrow shits’ but I figured your mother would find that too objectionable, so I censored it myself. 

We were given a huge and hideous clown painting the other day. I wouldn’t put it up in our apartment for all the tea in China. So we plan on giving it to Sarah and Jonny as a housewarming gift. Bwa-hah-hah-hah!

We’ve both had bad colds, but didn’t go in to get tested for Covid. I went into the urologist last week. He did some very painful poking, just to tell me my prostrate is swelling like the Goodyear Blimp. He suggested invasive surgery, so they could drill a hole right through the dang thing – this would help me urinate more freely. But I opted for a more conservative procedure for now. Just taking some pills. I’ll have a teleconference with the urologist in February to discuss if it’s working. 

Well, my little wombats, I think that is all for now. Please know that your mother and I pray for you and your families day and night.

Love,

Heinie Manush  (my new nom de plume.) 

Narrative Poem: Dispersal

 

We met at the Tri-State Convention Complex.

A business meeting for sales and tech.

Everyone wore masks.

I hadn't been to the place in years.

All grey cement blocks and black iron railings.

Echoes sounding constantly; tinny and muffled.

The elevator was out of order; so I walked.

Four flights of stairs; no biggie.

The glassed in pavilion was bright gold

with neon and sun lamps. 

Way too hot. If you ask me.

I showed my vax card and started on the veggie tray.

Outside the pavilion it grew dark and cold.

People coming in late complained of the cutting wind.

And that the rest of the place seemed deserted.

"They took out all the plexiglass" said a guy next to me.

"The place is a ghost town" said a women wearing white boots.

Suddenly I was afraid to go find the bathroom.

But I had drunk too much sun tea. I wandered out.

Yes. The wind was very cold.

The bathroom was unheated. Full of scraps of paper.

The mirror over the sink was metal, not glass.

My reflection blended into the cinderblock wall.

 I no longer dreaded being outside the pavilion.

And I noticed dozens of others from the pavilion --

wandering away in all directions.

I didn't want to go back in.

So I took the staircase down one story to 

the concession stands.

They were all closed. Howler monkeys prowled

the empty deep fryers.

To join their troupe I made obeisance to the Alpha male.

Rancid vegetable oil is delicious. 

The Sermon on the Mount (Mathew Chapter 5) as run through A.I. rewrite program quillbot.com

 5th Chapter of Matthew


1 And seeing the crowds, he climbed up a mountain, and when he was settled, his disciples came to him:


2
And he spoke out and instructed them, saying,


3 The poor in heart are blessed, because theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


4 Blessed are those who weep, because they will be consoled.


5 The humble are blessed, since they will inherit the world.


6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice, since they will be satisfied.


7 Blessed are the merciful, because mercy will come to them.


8 Blessed are those who have a pure heart, since they will see God.


9 Blessed are those who create peace, because they will be considered God's children.


10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for the cause of righteousness, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.


11 Blessed are you when others revile and persecute you, and falsely accuse you of all kinds of things for my sake.


12 Rejoice and be very joyful, because great is your recompense in heaven, for the prophets who came before you were tormented in the same way.


13 You are the salt of the earth; but wherewith will it be seasoned if the salt has lost its savor?
It is no longer good for anything except being flung out and stomped underfoot by humanity.


14
You are the world's light.
A city perched on a ridge cannot be hidden.


15 Neither do folks light a candle and hide it beneath a bushel, but rather place it on a candlestick, which provides light to everybody in the house.


16 Let your light so shine before mankind that they may see your deeds and praise your heavenly Father.


17
Do not believe that I have come to destroy the law or the prophets: I have come to fulfill, not to destroy.


18
For truly I say unto you, till heaven and earth pass away, not a jot or a tittle of the law shall vanish from the law, until all is accomplished.


19
Whoever, then, breaks one of these least commandments and teaches others to do the same, will be considered the least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them will be called great in the land of heaven.


20 For I say to you, unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.


21 You have heard that it was proclaimed by the prophets of old, "Thou shalt not murder," and "Whoever kills will be judged":


22 But I say to you, Whomever is furious with his brother without reason will face the judgment; and whosoever will say to his brother, Raca, will face the council; but whosoever will say, Thou stupid, will face the furnace of hell.


23 Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar and remember that your brother has a claim against you;


24
Leave your present at the altar and go on your way; first reconcile with your brother, then come and give your gift.


25
Agree swiftly with thy enemy while thou art in his path, lest the adversary send thee to the judge, who will then deliver thee to the officer, who will then put thee into jail.


26
I swear unto thee, thou shalt not come out of there till thou hast paid the utmost farthing.


27
You may have heard that they of old stated, "Thou shall not commit adultery:"


28
But I say to you, anyone looks at a woman in order to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.


29
And if thy right eye offends thee, take it out and hurl it from thee; for it is better for thee that one of thy limbs perishes, rather than thy whole body being cast into hell.


30
And if thy right hand offends thee, cut it off and hurl it from thee; for it is better for thee that one of thy limbs perishes, rather than thy whole body being cast into hell.


31
It has been stated, "Whoever puts away his wife, let him offer her a divorce writing:"


32 But I say unto you, that anybody puts away his wife, save for the purpose of fornication, commits adultery; and whosoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.


33
You have also heard that it was declared by them of old, Thou shalt not forswear yourself, but shalt keep thy vows to the Lord:


34
But I say to you, do not swear by heaven, for it is God's throne:


35
Neither by the world, which is his footstool, nor by Jerusalem, which is the great King's capital.


36
You may not swear by your head since you cannot turn a single hair white or black.


37
But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for anything more than these is harmful.


38
You've probably heard the saying, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth":


39 But I say to you, resist not evil; but whomever smiteth thee on the right cheek, turn to him also the other.


40
And if any man sues thee in court and takes away thy coat, let him also have thy cloak.


41
And whomever forces thee to travel a mile, go with him a mile and a half.


42 Give to him who asketh thee, and do not turn away from him who wishes to borrow from thee.


43
You may have heard that it is written, "Love thy neighbor and hate thy adversary."


44
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do kind to those who despise you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you;


45 That you may be the children of your heavenly Father, who makes his sun rise on the wicked and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unjust.


46
What reward do you have if you love those who love you?
Aren't even the bartenders the same?


47
And what do you accomplish more than others if you merely salute your brethren?
Do not even the publicans believe this?


48
Therefore, be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Today's Timerick: Russia-U.S. Talks Concluded With Posturing and Threats, but No Movement on Either Side (WSJ)

 

The Bear met with the Groundhog on a murky day last year;

they brought along some weasels and a stuffy brigadier. 

The Bear disliked the table and the Groundhog said the chairs

were scarcely ergonomic and were mussing up his hairs.

While shuffling their papers they sent out for Perrier,

and made sure that the video put them on full display.

They huddled with advisers and signed book deals by the score;

they bandied words with Oprah about some Crimean War.

And when the staff was ready and the room was hushed and still,

they glared at one another till the place filled up with krill.

While huffing and then puffing, with a growl or two for show,

these stubborn creatures made a job completely out of snow.

The media swooped in for quotes; the Bear and Badger beamed.

They all sat down to dinner -- of baloney lightly steamed.

Another conference was unnecessary, so they said;

for they had made their point now, having lots of good street cred.

The meeting broke up quickly, while the situation stayed

about the same as always -- just a dreary cavalcade.

Perhaps they'll meet again next year; perhaps the sun will chill.

Perhaps the world will self-destruct, or take another pill.

The Badger and the Bear remain unruffled by it all.

They're signing copies of their books down at the shopping mall.

And little children pray for peace; and many widows sigh --

and no one seems to care at all how many men will die.

A haiku for Amy. 愛する妻のための俳句

 

crocheting slippers --

open-toed because my feet

ache after walking.

かぎ針編みのスリッパ-

私の足が開いているのでつま先が開いています

歩いた後の痛み。

Robert Frost's 'The Road Not Taken' run through A.I.

 Here's the original:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Now here's the same thing, after it's been run through quillbot.com:

It was a golden wood, and I was disappointed that two paths forked rather than one, so I stood for a long time and peered down one as far as I could to where it curved in the undergrowth;


Then I grabbed the other, thinking it was just as fair, and possibly having a stronger claim, since it was grassy and needed wear; however, in truth, the passing traffic had worn both about the same, so I didn't mind taking it.


And both of them were equally wrong that morning.

There had been no dark footsteps among the leaves.

Oh, I forgot about the first one! I'll save it for another day!

Nevertheless, knowing how one path leads to another, I began to wonder whether I should ever return.


I'll be repeating this story with a sigh sometime in the far future:

In the middle of a forest, two paths split, and I chose the one that was less frequented by, and that has made all the difference.

An email from ecclesiastical authorities about vaccination and mask wearing. It's unequivocable.

 Dear sisters and brothers: 

As you know, we are experiencing a renewed surge in Covid illnesses here in Utah.  The Area Presidency has reached out to stake presidents with a message of love, concern and caution, for our stake members.  Given the rise in infections, they ask we refer all members to review and prayerfully consider the August 12, 2021 counsel from the First Presidency on mask wearing and vaccination, which states in part: “To limit exposure to these viruses, we urge the use of face masks in public meetings whenever social distancing is not possible. To provide personal protection from such severe infections, we urge individuals to be vaccinated. Available vaccines have proven to be both safe and effective.” 

There are no current plans to cancel Sunday meetings. However, beginning now, we ask all members to please wear a mask if you will be in the church buildings, attending meetings, interviews, youth activities, etc. until further notice.  (We recognize that some small children cannot handle wearing masks so adjust accordingly).  We also encourage 1) members to comply with local public health guidelines and act accordingly; 2) members use good judgment and care with the members in your wards and stakes; and 3) bishops and leaders ensure that Sunday meetings are available via broadcast.  Members, if you do not want to wear a mask, we ask that you attend your meetings virtually instead of in-person until the spread of infection diminishes.  

We also encourage all members to look to guidance from those we sustain as prophets, seers, and revelators as they strive to make decisions, especially when so many voices across the spectrum of opinion are clamoring for our attention:  we will find safety as we follow the voice of the prophet over any other.  We also remind members of our covenants to “be united in our commitment to the Savior Jesus Christ and His teachings. As His followers, we should treat one another and all of God’s children with respect, dignity, and love. No political or other affiliation should supersede that covenant and sacred responsibility.”  

Finally, next fast Sunday, February 6th, we ask all members in the stake to join in our stake fast.  Please pray for health and protection in our stake, relief for our health care workers, and that hospitals will not be overwhelmed at this time. We believe in a God of miracles and invite us all to join our faith in asking for them.  

Your brethren, 

 

Kevin Kolling, Stake President

Ruben Arredondo, 1st Counselor

Robert Strain, 2nd Counselor

*****************************

And from my bishop:

Ward Family:

 

As stated in the stake presidency’s email earlier this week, “There are no current plans to cancel Sunday meetings. However, beginning now, we ask all members to please wear a mask if you will be in the church buildings, attending meetings, interviews, youth activities, etc. until further notice.  (We recognize that some small children cannot handle wearing masks so adjust accordingly).” Wearing masks in our meetings will allow us to continue to meet and be together.

 

The stake’s email continued, “Members, if you do not want to wear a mask, we ask that you attend your meetings virtually instead of in-person until the spread of infection diminishes.” That being said, priesthood holders are authorized to administer the sacrament in their own homes, and in the homes of those they minister to, in order to accommodate families that feel the need to stay home at this time.

 

If you are unable to attend in person, please join with us via YouTube Live. The broadcast will begin after the sacrament has been administered to the congregation, roughly 8:45AM-8:50AM. Below are the announcements that will be made during the meeting and the callings that were sustained the previous week. If the mask requirements are in place next week we will make 2nd hour meetings available via live stream for those who cannot attend with us.

 

---

Hamlet's Soliloquy run through AI.

 Here is the original:

HAMLET: To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

 

Now we run it through quillbot.com, and get this:

HAMLET: To be, or not to be—that is the question: Whether it is nobler in the spirit to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fate, or to raise arms against a sea of sorrows and by opposing them put an end to them.
To die, to sleep—no longer—and by sleeping, to claim that we have put an end to the anguish and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.
It's a happy ending that should be longed for.
To die, to slumber—to sleep—perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub, since what dreams may come in that sleep of death.

Must give us pause after we've drifted off this mortal coil.
There's the respect that causes such a lengthy life's catastrophe.

Who could withstand the whims and scorns of time, after all?

The oppressor is incorrect, and the proud man is contumely.

The agony of resentful love, the law's inaction

When he himself might manufacture his quietus With a naked bodkin, the insolence of office, and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes?
Who would fardels endure, to grunt and sweat under a dreary existence, if not for the fear of something after death, the unknown place, from whose bourn they could return?

No traveller returns, perplexes the will, and makes us prefer endure our own afflictions than go to unknown lands?

Thus guilt makes us all cowards, and thus the original colour of determination is sicklied o'er with the wan cast of thinking, and endeavor of vast pitch and importance is suffocated.

Their currents go astray in this respect, and activity loses its name.
— Soften up now, lovely Ophelia! —
In thy origins, Nymph

Please remember all of my misdeeds.