Today's Timerick: The Country Where Betting on Sports Is Patriotic (WSJ)

 

Sven and Axel made a bet

on an athlete Soviet.

When she fizzled out, they sighed:

"Helvete! Ve took a ride!"

Next they tried a slalom team

cuz they liked their color scheme.

When their team ran last the pain

nearly tore apart their brain.

So they tried the lottery

and lost their Kroner handily.

They are betting fools extreme,

which is ev'ry Norseman's dream.

Even when the country bans

Sven and Axel's greedy hands

from disposing of their dough,

they still manage cash to blow

on the races or the wheel;

so they're mostly down-at-heel.

Whether soccer, track, or darts,

Norsemen always lose their hearts

to the sure thing coming soon --

causing all their wives to swoon.

If a bet you'd like to win

pick out any rolling pin;

then put down your ready bread

that it will hit a spiller's head!

Haiku: ぼやけた白い月 The blurry white moon

 

The blurry white moon --

my insomnia;

yawning in tandem.

The blurry white moon --

a blue light on the stark cold;

tree branches blackened.

The blurry white moon --

a pill and drink of water;

back to her pink warmth.

ぼやけた白い月-

錠剤と水の飲み物;

彼女のピンクの暖かさに戻ります。

 

Haiku: 杉の木の山 The cedar woodpile

 

Piles of cut cedar --

holes where the grubs are digging;

piles of brown sawdust.

Piles of cut cedar --

silver in the cold sunlight;

all the bark fell off.

Piles of cut cedar --

stumpy branches reaching out;

catching plastic bags.

カット杉の山-

ずんぐりした枝が手を伸ばす。

ビニール袋をキャッチします。

***************************

by Amy

the smell of fried eggs --

is yellow, white, and charcoal;

the color of youth.

Narrative Poem: The Supply Chain.

 

We were eating shredded paper.

It goes well with library paste.

Which there isn't any.

The supply chain, you know.

We haven't seen a piece of meat

since Elon Musk came back from Jupiter.

My wife stole a package of chicken paws

for the kids -- that's why we're all in jail now.

It's not a bad place. There's no bars.

The supply chain, you know.

The Mister lets us watch the sun dial.

And we have a rock garden behind the gallows.

When we get rehabilitated we have a lovely home

waiting for us in Haines City.

Provided by Mr. Hypocephalus,

the Greek shipping magnate.

He's going to give me a job.

Nutria wrangler.

I'll need a bullwhip 

and chapped lips. 

Until then we study tap dancing

and stamp out bumper stickers.

The kids really seem to take to it;

their latest slogan: "Always support the bottom."

Since there wasn't any library paste

we had to eat our shredded paper

with chimney soot.

My wife had hers on the rocks.

Suddenly the warden burst in

like a herd of sagebrush.

"The Governor has gone to Wichita!"

he said breathlessly.

We all knew what that meant.

Except the warden.

"What does that mean?" he asked me.

"The trucks are rolling again!" I told him.

The prison became a bedlam.

Riot and revelry took over.

I sheltered my family under

the spreading chestnut tree.

When it was over 

I took my family to

Ur of the Chaldees.

But there was only one 

Chaldee left.

The rest were on convoy

in Canada.

The vaccine, you know.

 

A “Threat To Black Communities”: Senators Call On Immigration Cops And FBI To Quit Using Clearview Facial Recognition

 

Three Senators want the federal government to cease utilizing face recognition technology developed by Clearview AI, a $130 million surveillance firm founded by Peter Thiel.


Face recognition techniques represent a severe threat to the public's civil liberties and privacy rights, Senator Edward Markey and Representatives Pramila Jayapal and Ayanna Presley warned in letters signed by them.
The company has a database of over 10 billion faces culled from social media sites like Facebook and Instagram, which police can use to identify suspects.


“This technology also offers specific vulnerabilities to Black, other ethnic, and immigrant communities,” the authorities stated.
Black, Brown, and Asian faces were up to 100 times more probable than white male ones, according to a federal research.
A few Black people have been falsely detained due to a bogus face recognition match.


“More than just inaccuracy, facial recognition technology like Clearview offers distinct challenges to underprivileged populations.
“Because Black, Brown, and immigrant communities are disproportionately overpoliced, the spread of biometric monitoring capabilities is likely to disproportionately invade their privacy,” the letters added.


Stop using face recognition software, especially Clearview AI's products.


The letters were written to DHS, the US Attorney General, Defense, HHS, and the US Department of Interior.


The Facial Recognition and Biometric Technology Moratorium Act would prohibit federal agencies or government officials from using facial recognition technology.
Ayesh Prasad and Elizabeth Warren also endorsed the


“I have the highest regard for Senators Markey and Merkley, and Reps. Jayapal and Pressley,” said Hoan Ton-That, CEO of Clearview AI.
The face recognition algorithm used by Clearview AI has no observable racial bias, and we are unaware of any instances where Clearview AI's technology has resulted in a wrongful arrest.
"The algorithm properly recognized the right face out of a lineup of 12 million photographs with a 99.85% accuracy rate, which is significantly more accurate than the human eye," he said.


“The Innocence Project says eyewitness lineups cause 70% of erroneous convictions.
Face recognition software like Clearview AI may help build a world devoid of prejudice.
As a person of mixed race, this is vital.


Our success in assisting over 3,100 US law enforcement agencies in solving horrible crimes including child abuse, elder abuse, financial fraud and human trafficking is a source of pride.


Despite ethical issues, the corporation has continued to recruit governmental customers.
ICE has placed $1.75 million on the table over two contracts to acquire the technology.
The FBI recently ordered Clearview licenses for $18,000.

Haiku: 小さなバフーン The little buffoons.

 

The little buffoons --

in Washington and elsewhere;

green behind the ears.

The little buffoons --

sparrows fighting over sand;

for a warm dust bath.

The little buffoons --

under a cold orange moon;

their bald heads huddled.

小さなバフーン- 冷たいオレンジ色の月の下で; 彼らの禿げた頭は群がった。

Haiku: The smell of fried eggs. 目玉焼きの匂い Fly at the window. 窓際の虫

 

The smell of fried eggs -- 

memories of a childhood

without red hot sauce.

The smell of fried eggs --

yellow pops as edges brown;

grease on the tile floor.

The smell of fried eggs --

piled in a heap helter-skelter

over hot white rice.

*************************************

Fly at the window.  窓際の虫

fly at the window --

what do your many eyes see?

a fractal freedom.

fly at the window --

no Toby Shandy for you;

buzz into silence.

fly at the window --

shredding all the white cobwebs;

Last laugh? Maybe not. 

Narrative Poem: Meeting Joe Rogan on the beach in Thailand.

 

My Dear Children;

No, I never met Joe Rogan on the beach in Thailand.

Thanks for asking.

Your mother is making keto vegetable lasagna this morning.

She's using a whole block of Bongard's American Pasteurized Process Cheese.

I had a telemedicine conference with my urologist, Dr. Armstrong, last week; he prescribed medication.

Approval from Medicaid is still pending.

I once saw a strange light in the sky. So did my mother, while walking to the bookmobile with my sister Linda.

I've given up reading books from the Library, but still pretend to everyone I love going there.

Your mother bought a pair of black boots at DI on Saturday.

They hurt her feet when she squats.

I'm making a comedy video with grandson Noah on Tuesday; to be called "How to read a newspaper."

I hope he has a TikTok account.

I once fished a Thai Navy captain's hat out of the ocean at Ban Phe.

My Thai girlfriend Joom said I would be arrested if I kept it.

So I threw it back into the waves.

In Thailand after a corpse is burned at the Buddhist temple the monks toss the remains into the nearest body of water.

I once found a human femur in the surf at Ban Phe. I took it home for Joom's dog Neepoo.

This past week we were offered a free frozen turkey by two different people.

We turned them down, with thanks, both times, because we had no more room in our fridge or freezer.

Your mother asked me what happy Valentine Day memories I have.

I told her  none for the past 26 years; that I regard Valentine's Day the same way she regards Halloween -- as an abomination.

She replied "That's sad."

Your mother bought me an electric razor for Christmas.

I'm sorry I never told anyone else but her at the time how grateful I am for that thoughtful gift. 

 

Your mother just poured salt on the bottom of the oven, where some of the keto lasagna bubbled over. She says it keeps the spill from burning and smoking.

Each day brings new evidence to me that your mother is the smartest woman I have ever known.

Love,

Heinie Manush. 

Haiku: 素晴らしい山 Mount Timpanogos.

 

Mount Timpanogos --

serene under the white snow;

til it shakes it off.

Mount Timpanogos --

shredder of clouds and whirlwinds;

little birds nest there.

Mount Timpanogos --

no cares touch its massive brow;

brewing fog and ice.

Today's Timericks. The World Is Likely Sicker Than It Has Been in 100 Years (WSJ)

 

The world is likely sicker than it's ever been before/I myself feel seedy with a microbe tug-of-war/Shots and pills don't cut it; I will take some castor oil/then take a dose of Epsom salts while under Tesla coil.

How to Prepare for Student-Loan Payments Restarting.  (WSJ)

My student debt has been deferred forever, so it seems/And so I use my income for to follow modest dreams/But if the moneygrubbers now start to have their way/and demand of me my pound of flesh to grimly pay/I'll hie me to the circus and become a tragic clown/and they can whistle for their dough while I fall on the ground!

Too Risky to Wed in Your 20s? Not if You Avoid Cohabiting First.  (WSJ)

Marriage takes a lot of guts in this here cockeyed time/Some think it is silly while others call it crime/Children are expensive to conceive and nurture well/You can't afford to have 'em if you ain't a drug cartel/And sex is only tempting when you're young and full of heat/After you grow older all you do is soak your feet!

Excessive Bell-Ringing By Priest Takes Its Toll On Italian Community.  (Forbes)

A church rang its bell day and night/giving townspeople a fright/The priest on the cord/was simply quite bored/and not by design impolite.