Restaurant Rant

An eatery that's a franchise

always serves soggy french fries;

the wait staff is slow;

yet tips seem to grow;

a package of ramen seems wise.

Take More Pills!

Big Pharma's now getting its thrills
by selling us more and more pills.
An ache or a pain
just means for them gain;
we're on their abusive treadmills.

Century-old grain silos to be razed by University of Minnesota, despite protests

It seems that the old U of M
doesn't have very much phlegm
when razing the sites
of historic highlights;
they don't know the dregs from the gem. 

Blessings on you zany clowns

Blessings on you zany clowns/loving life and hating frowns/corny as this poem may be/my heart is yours, in verity/May your madcap schemes reverse/the folly of our universe!

NFL ratings plunge could spell doom for traditional TV

Football, America’s biggest prime-time powerhouse, has been thrust into a crisis this fall, with dwindling ratings sparking questions over whether it can remain a gold mine for television in an age when more Americans are abandoning traditional TV.

from the Washington Post

King TV has had a long reign

 with always a full gravy train.

But NFL squads

no longer are gods;

the Boob Tube is now on the wane.

I never clean up after meals

 An earlier study by Mintel found millennials are increasingly avoiding cereal because it requires too much effort. Roughly 40 percent of those surveyed said “cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it." As a result, cereal sales have slipped by nearly 30 percent since 2000.

from the Washington Post  

I never clean up after meals
I leave all the cups and the peels
to rot in the sink
while kefir I drink,
then go save a few baby seals. 

The shocking pain of unemployed men

I'm unemployed, without paycheck,
and not very happy, by heck!
I had no syringe
to lessen the twinge:
My boss was a pain in the neck! 

A young girl who lived in Mumbai

Fathers and husbands say phones could lead to sexual promiscuity, or at the very least give women a reputation for moral laxity. They also argue that money is better spent on boys, and that technology, like education, is wasted on women who will eventually be married off to another family.

from the Wall Street Journal

A young girl who lived in Mumbai
wanted a smartphone to try.
Her elders refused;
it would be abused
to order some fresh Spanish fly! 

The Chicago Cubs

In their quest to win their first World Series since 1908, the Chicago Cubs once brought in a Greek orthodox priest to spray their dugout with holy water. It didn’t work.

This year, Cubs relief pitcher Hector Rondon is appealing to a supernatural power with something more potent: Sexual Paris by Michel Germain.

Moments before the start of every game, Rondon spritzes himself with the alluring cologne, covering his neck and then some. “My chest, too,” he said.

from the Wall Street Journal

Cub fans are making some queries:

If perfume will jibe with their theories,

they'd gladly connive

Chanel Number Five

to pump into the World Series. 

British supermarkets are running out of Marmite. Brexit just got real.

No Marmite in Liverpool means
they've had to turn to refried beans.
Those hungry masses
produce greenhouse gasses --
it's in all the posh magazines.