Haiku: how many bird songs

how many bird songs

does this pine tree remember

from the day before?

haiku: the spilling yellow

the spilling yellow

is held back by the autumn shades

waiting for frost fall

haiku: the wan moon sinks low

the wan moon sinks low

behind inky black branches

mourning absent leaves

Megyn Kelly -- Never Trust a Saudi -- Polluters to Pay Big Fees in Washington State -- Return of the Dreaded Candy Corn

A media star, name of Kelly,

found her career turn to jelly.

One thoughtless remark

about minstrels dark,

and they kicked her right off the telly.

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From the moment the dissident journalist Jamal Khashoggi disappeared after walking into the Saudi consulate in Istanbul this month, Saudi officials have offered a dizzying variety of public accounts about his fate.    NYT

The truth, as it's told by a Saudi,

is very creative, though shoddy.

Scheherazade knew

of Arabs a few

know how to account for a body.

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One piece of that transformation . . .  will be decided on Election Day by people across Washington state, who will vote on whether to charge companies and utilities for their carbon emissions. The proposed carbon fees, aimed at curbing climate change by making the burning of fossil fuels more expensive, would be the first such state initiative in the nation, and other states are closely watching the election outcome.  NYT

A close look at our history

will show that whenever a fee

for doing a wrong

is pushed very strong

it winds up in obscurity.

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At least 16 states and Washington, D.C., pass out candy corn in sufficient volume to place it among their top 3 Halloween treats in a ranking by candystore.com. And in seven states, it’s No. 1.    WSJ

Of all the treats at Halloween,

worse than the licorice jelly bean,

the candy corn stands out as vile --

yet people serve it with a smile.

Should I be offered just one piece

they'd better ring for the police!

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"Give me a caramel apple, any day!"

El reportero Nick Miroff del periódico Washington Post habla excelente español

Nick Miroff is a man of mystery. His colleagues at the Washington Post, where he has been a staff reporter for the past twelve years, know so very little about his private life and interests that they often jump out of high rise windows in frustrated despair. Who is the man in the lime green jumpsuit that comes to his desk every Thursday afternoon with a roll of duct tape? What does he keep in the brass urn on his desk, labeled "Himmelfahrt"?  Why is his Rolodex completely blank? How does he come to have a Rolodex on his desk in the first place? And when does he find time for cordwaining? 

Rumors are rife that while working in Mexico City he learned the true identity of Fidel Castro's beard groomer and used that information to sink the Graf Spee in Montevideo Harbor. Miroff himself neither affirms nor denies the story.

 Of humble birth, Miroff worked his way up from penury to poverty by selling earmuffs door to door in the Aleutian Islands. Intrigued by the lingering influence of colonial Spain among the native kelpies, he stowed away on a passing freighter to begin life anew as a student and scholar of Latin American studies at the University of California in Santa Cruz. His doctrinal thesis on the square tortillas of Patagonia is considered a landmark in the field of gastronomy. 

He cultivates witches' butter in his spare time. 

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"No está jugando con una baraja llena de cartas."

Reporter Emily Yahr, of the Washington Post, is Proud of her Pirate Heritage

Emily Yahr is proud of her Pirate heritage.

"My ancestors roamed the Seven Seas looking for gold doubloons and rare spices and silks from the Orient that they could swipe from other ships, and then make their victims walk the plank. My progenitors became so infamous for their wholesale thieving that our last name became a byword among Pirates and Pirate wannabees. After all, who hasn't heard someone, somewhere, growl 'Yahr, matey' when they want to impersonate a buccaneer?" 

When she worked at the Lexington Herald-Leader she was known for the particular care with which she placed her commas, asterisks, and apostrophes. She was often heard to say: "There is more mischief in a misplaced semicolon than in a quart of whisky!"

Prior to joining the Washington Post she worked at USA Today as their kapok reviewer. Her columns have been collected into a book, entitled "Excelsior is My Sister," which was on the Ladies Home Journal short list for six months. 

Yahr joined the Washington Post in 2008 and immediately began building a reputation for hard-hitting style section pieces. Her prose has been likened to 'velvet sandpaper.' Her series on Velcro high heels led to legislation in several states banning the use of pesticides near bowling alleys. 

She calls Cleveland her Pittsburgh. 

She graduated from the University of Maryland at the age of sixteen, and took an advanced degree at the Winnemucca School of Mines before she could legally vote. Her interests include scrimshaw, hot plate repair, and flying inflatable latex gloves. 

****************************

"I wouldn't want to be in her shoes."

Sarah Needleman, of the Wall Street Journal, is a Tea Connoisseur

No one can say that Sarah Needleman is not smart, edgy, trending, and pasteurized. Her articles in the Wall Street Journal and other media have always drawn attention from the Cognoscenti, Montagues, and Capulets. Currently engaged in chronicling the video game industry, her previous writing gigs include writing about how the word 'entrepreneur' would never be used if it weren't for Spell Check, and reporting on small businesses -- in fact she nosed around and found dozens of businesses so tiny that she had to buy a microscope to examine them. 

She is the recipient of the Aimee Semple McPherson Award for her coverage of the International Tea Cozy Knitting Competitions in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada, in 2011. During the ensuing riots she was injured and lost the use of her coccyx for several years. 

She says that literature runs in her family -- or was it runs from her family?  I'll have to check my notes . . .  

She graduated from Rutgers University in 1997 but likes to tell complete strangers that she is taking an online course in taxidermy to help support her dream of one day owning a kumquat ranch. 

Even though Sarah admits to possessing a cat, she has not yet developed the facial tics and nail biting habit that most cat owners acquire over the long, tortuous years of feline subjugation. Her bravery and stamina in this area have earned her the admiration of scores of influential people, including Tom Cruise and KICD Meteorologist Corey Harguth, who have set up the Sarah Needleman Memorial Fund to help victims of cat ownership recover their self respect and dignity. 

Social Media stories that she has amassed a giant blob of Silly Putty in her basement and intends to use it to take over northern New Jersey have been labeled as 'Fake News' by the Columbia Journalism Review and the South Brunswick Post. But nobody, least of all Ms. Needleman, seems to know just exactly what her cat does with all its spare time. 

*******************************

Ms. Needleman emailed me her response to this piece, thus:

I think it's odd and has several errors. I'd prefer you take it down.

Regards, Sarah E. Needleman

TECHNOLOGY REPORTER THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

*******************************

"I'd rather own a porcupine than a cat."

Katie Rogers of the New York Times is Proud to be a Hoosier

Katie Rogers covers the White House for the New York Times, a job she finds both stressful and educational. She says that the stress of having to constantly snap her fingers in front of President Trump's face to regain his attention when he veers off into an incoherent rant makes it impossible for her to sleep at night unless she hangs upside down from the rafters. But she also admits she has learned so much about the inner workings of the American experiment in democracy that she is now planning a lateral move to Antarctica for a ten year sabbatical among the chinstrap penguins.

She has fond memories of growing up in Hoosier, Indiana, where the corn is alpine as a tall billboard sign, and it looks like it's growin' right up to cloud nine . . . 

Her ancestors arrived at Plymouth Rock by coracle and held important positions in such organizations as American National Cattlewomen Inc; the Association of Gravestone Studies; The Organization for the Working Samoyed; and the American Association of Candy Technologists. There is a statue of her great Uncle Sebastian on the grounds of the state capital in Indianapolis, for his outstanding contributions to the game of pinochle. 

A keen student of pop culture and haute couture, Ms. Rogers was among the first journalists to investigate the dangers of prolonged exposure to hula hoop earrings. 

A graduate of Loyala University, she was awarded the Lucius Beebe Medallion for Breaking News and then Fixing It. Her hobbies include bowling ball rosemaling and collecting wimples. 

********************************

"Give me a Buckeye anytime . . . "

Tim Cook's Denunciation of Silicon Valley. Et tu, Brutus?

Apple chief executive Tim Cook on Wednesday warned the world’s most powerful regulators that the poor privacy practices of some tech companies, the ills of social media and the erosion of trust in his own industry threaten to undermine “technology’s awesome potential” to address challenges like disease and climate change.   Washington Post.

At the European Parliament Tim Cook began to speak,

and the legislators sat up for to hear this awesome geek.

He lamented all the rhetoric infecting platform use;

twas most it fallacious and a terrible abuse.

The mining of raw data he denounced as conscienceless,

and hopes that nosy companies will be denied access.

What good is AI, he did ask, and algorithms keen

if it makes privacy a farce and dignity demean?

Cook demanded lawmakers around the globe enact

 tougher legislation and don't worry about tact.

His speech hit all the right spots, but if I may just be frank,

I think when it was over he went laughing to the bank.

White House Under Attack by Socialists -- Foodies on Instagram -- Who Invented the Green Bean Casserole?

The White House Council of Economic Advisers on Tuesday published a 72-page report criticizing what it described as the socialist ideas of leading Democratic Party politicians, and seeking to link President Trump’s political rivals with figures reviled by most Americans.

NYT

Socialists and Democrats

are two of the same kind of cats;

they may start to purr

but they will transfer

your property into their own hats!

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Instagram makes soup look good

though it may taste like wormwood.

But there's not much it can do

with my kisser's awful view.

To change that I'd have to opt

to have my features Photoshopped. 

***********************************

Dorcas Reilly, inventor of the green bean casserole, has died at 92.

(Headline in the Washington Post)

When it comes to processed soul,

there's nothing like a casserole.

Made with love and Elmer's glue,

tis easier than stirring roux.

Any clumsy nincompoop

can mix green beans with mushroom soup!

"When does hockey season start?"