TRUMP THINKS TARIFFS WILL SOLVE ANYTHING
@AnaSwanson
When Trump invents a bugaboo
he thinks a tariff sure will do.
He makes 'em up in half a tick,
then says they sure will do the trick
to help our farmers back on track
and end the war in poor Iraq.
I'd like to know who taught that lug
to worship that darn tariff bug!
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THIEVES ARE WAITING TO STEAL YOUR PACKAGES
FROM YOUR FRONT DOOR
@WinnHu @matthewhaag
Sticky fingers inundate
the holidays each year;
packages on porches
seem to always disappear.
Santa can't send anything
by UPS or mail;
cuz it just grows some legs
and runs off without fail.
So I think that this season
I will have my stuff all sent
off to someplace distant
like the fabled Orient.
I know I'll never get it
but at least those lousy crooks
will be left with empty hands
while on their tenterhooks.
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LOBBYISTS GHOST WRITE FOR LEGISLATORS
@JStein_WaPo
Independent thinking ain't
a strength for office holders;
they don't have a blessed thing
above their padded shoulders.
So some good samaritans
write op-eds for them all --
lobbyists whose job it is
to lie and cheat and stall.
This does not surprise me, since
the lawmakers I know
only write to endorse checks
that gives their PACs more dough.