Where are the cranks of yesteryear;
the ones we jeered but did not fear?
Without a cyber platform stand
they rattled folk throughout the land.
On street corners, in public parks,
they gave us such delightful larks.
There was Carry Nation, then;
the terror of all drinking men.
She axed saloons with pious glee;
bartenders thought her quite screwy.
Emperor Norton, of old Frisco,
whose mental state was that of Crisco,
lorded over all the nobs --
and ruled the merry, laughing mobs.
He dined for free on lobster bisque
and granted titles without risk.
And nobody is quite surpassin'
the nuttiness of Harold Stassen.
For president he ran nine times
(he had a glitch with his enzymes.)
Taken first so seriously,
later on 'twas deliriously.
He was a laughing stock, but stay;
nobody said "Put him away!"
Compare those cranks of former days
with how we treat our mental strays
in this cruel, suspicious age --
when ev'ry quirk doth have its cage.
Police respond with rubber hose
to those who thumb a public nose.
The internet is laid with traps
for those who make the slightest lapse.
All innocent eccentricity
is treated with severity.
Mike Romanoff, we need your kind --
to give us laughing peace of mind!
