Eating my way through Iowa

You never have to punch a clock when indigestion calls;

You can find it day or night, in drought or when snow falls.

Each Kum & Go has greasy trays of food your mother taught

You never to indulge in to avoid the tummy rot.

At Casey’s there are donuts from the days of Watergate;

And wieners that the Civil War most certainly predate.

And Kwik Trip offers pizza slices baked until they’re like

Asbestos curtains or perhaps an iron railroad spike.

The land is bursting with abundant poultry, beef, and corn;

Yet Iowans  consume fried nuggets like it was free porn.

No one takes the time to cook, to marinate and stew;

They all run out to purchase schlock that tastes like Elmer’s glue.

It will not be our politics or wars that bring us down –

Our end will come from eating at the Git-N-Go downtown.