Explaining my Shopping List

I could go grocery shopping every day, and never feel bored or weary. I love to see the latest wrinkle in pastas, produce, and pickles. But like the gambler in Las Vegas or the bookworm in Barnes & Noble, I have to pace myself lest I blow the rent money. 

Having spent all morning today writing light verse, haiku, and a brief memoir about telemarketing for Time/Life Books, I felt I deserved a break, a respite from the cares of literary tomfoolery. So my little blue cart and I traipsed off to Fresh Market, just two blocks away. But I did not just dash out the door, helter-skelter, no indeed! I first sat down and used the back of a discarded outside envelope from some importunate bill collector to make up my list.

And, for the most part, I stuck to it. I attempted to group together everything I would need until next Saturday, so I would not be tempted to go back during the week for a fresh bagel or some of their excellent fried chicken. Here's the breakdown:

1 can frozen orange juice.  $1.59
1 can white grape juice.      $1.89
1 bag baking soda.  $1.79 -- I use it both in my laundry and when I soak my feet. Much cheaper than Epsom salts. 
1 small jar mayonnaise.  $2.49. I needed it for my chicken pasta salad I'm serving before Sacrament Meeting here in the lobby tomorrow. I could have gotten a huge jar of a different brand for $2.99, but I already have a jar of jalapeno mayonnaise I'm using on my sandwiches. Too much mayonnaise in the fridge has led to some unfortunate culinary experiments in the past.
4 packages of Ramen noodles, pork flavored. $1.00
1 box bow tie pasta. $1.69
1 bottle of Shasta orange soda. 59 cents
1 can white meat chicken.  $2.89
1 jar orange marmalade.     $3.49  (Pricey!)
1 can mushroom stems & pieces.  77 cents
1 can sliced black olives.  $1.49
1 lb sliced beef heart.  $2.90.  Much cheaper than hamburger, which was originally on my list because it's so versatile. But beef heart, when pounded a while, fries up just as tender and savory as hamburger.  I'll use it for sandwiches.
1 package Canadian bacon.  $2.99. I've been frying up a lot of bacon the last two weeks, so thought I'd better switch to something less greasy. 
1 roll paper towels.  99 cents. 
1 gallon 2% milk.  $1.99
1 package American cheese slices.  $2.49
1 bunch celery.  $1.29
1 pack mini carrots.  $1.69.  I'm really proud of this purchase, which I bought instead of the potato chips I had listed, to eat with my sandwich. When I'm engrossed in a sandwich and a book, as I often am, I really don't care what I eat with the sandwich. So why not raw veggies? They're actually cheaper than chips. Time will tell how much gas and indigestion they leave me with, as they have done in the past.
1 dozen large eggs. $1.79
1 box Eskimo pies.  $2.49
1 loaf white bread.  $2.59

I'm really proud of myself for not buying any pickles. I love 'em, but even a small jar of gherkins is getting outrageously expensive.

  My food stamps came in yesterday, so I used them to partially pay for these groceries. I'd forgotten to use my stamps last month, so added to this month it came to $36.00. So I only had to pay a little over eleven bucks cash for my groceries today. My Social Security won't come in for another week at least, so I'm gonna have to make do with what I've got on hand. (I'm holding back a ten spot in case the grand kids want to go see Incredibles 2 and ask me to come along.)