Ledes & Limericks. Thursday January 25 2018

written by this man, who has nothing better to do

FROM QUEBEC: NO NIQABS ALLOWED ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT

A  woman who wore a niqab

Was told that she must take a cab;

No buses for her,

Nor library, sure --

And knock off that Arabic gab!

Lynne Patton, a top official at the Department of Housing and Urban
Development, extended an apology to journalist April Ryan after calling
her “Miss Piggy” and a “bankrupt blogger” on Twitter.
 From the Washington Examiner

Reporters who put on some weight

Are facing a terrible fate;

They’re risking cruel hits

From government twits,

Who hopefully then abdicate.

SALT LAKE CITY — Lawmakers on Wednesday
weren't happy to hear that budget estimates for new
Utah State Prison project have again risen — this time
from $650 million to nearly $700 million.  

Whenever the government tries

To cut back on frivolous highs

The pork barrel slime

Starts work overtime

More money from statesmen to prise.

Frozen Variations

the resting water

is waiting simply to be

gone from the mountain

drained of warm colors

filled with the firmness of peace

echoes of white light

black and white are poised

balanced in the cold stillness

the clear dark glaze cracks

there is no stillness

like the stillness of water

in a cold country

Ledes & Limericks. Wednesday January 24 2018.

In the past week, the Huffington Post scaled back its platform
for unpaid bloggers and Facebook decided to ask users to rank
news sources by trustworthiness. Both represent a clear
preference for traditional journalism -- in which people get
paid for producing stories for good reason.
 From Bloombergs.

Are journalists back from the grave --

Do readers their news really crave?

It seems to be so,

But I’d like to know

What HAVE they learned from this close shave?

A Shortage of Trucks Is Forcing Companies to Cut Shipments
or Pay Up

Those trucks on the freeway we curse

Whose driving seems getting much worse

Are really quite rare

And we need to care

Because it’s affecting our purse.

The #MeToo Movement Hits

the Circus: ‘Grandma’ the

Clown Resigns

Even the sweet circus clown

Is liable to be taken down

When faced with the truth

He tampered with youth

And caused a long lasting deep frown

Dollar Hits New Low After

Mnuchin Says Weakness

Aids Trade

Mnuchin must hate the greenback --

He’s putting it under attack.

His ignorant gibes

Are causing great slides

Of dollars to cheap bargain rack.

White Sap

the silence is whole

white sap runs deep underground

a bird would be rude

Ledes & Limericks. Tuesday January 23 2018

Others are more inventive, such as Phoenix readers who call the Arizona Republic the “Arizona Repugnant” or the “Arizona Repulsive.” In North Carolina, the Raleigh News and Observer is sometimes labeled the “Noise and Disturber.” In Milwaukee, some readers have made the tired “Urinal” nickname flush, calling the Journal Sentinel the “Urine Sample.”  from the Chippewa Herald

It seems that the dignity’s fled

From newspapers that once had bred

Great awe and esteem --

But now that’s a dream;

The Prez wants them all to drop dead.

Norway’s strong social security net, which includes generous parental leave policies, is  a key reason the country of just over 5 million people is consistently rated one of the best places in the world to live.  From HuffPost  

The reason Norway is so fit

To live in is the Akvavit.

One bottle guzzled neat each day

And you’re as happy as a jay!

Business Cards Aren’t Dead, They’re Just Getting Weird

Bizness cards are getting strange --

They come is such disturbing range.

A card shaped like banana peel

Would not put over any deal.

But if new bizness you would start

I’d make my cards erotic art.

Gray Water

wind clicks in the brush

gray water so very still 

mountains keep distant

Ledes & Limericks. Monday January 22 2018

Reporters and editors making guesses

at what might happen rather than reporting

what did happen results in what

is typically called speculative journalism.

 From the NYTimes

When journalists go on a binge,

Predicting the news from a twinge,

They’re turning the trade

Into a charade;

No wonder their readers do cringe!

Government Shutdown

Goes Into Monday as

Senate Inches Toward

Deal

Our government is shutting down,

The bureaucrats depart --

Without their calculating minds

Perhaps we’ll gain more heart.

The Humorous Dictator

A humorous dictator is a thing I like to see.

One who squirts some seltzer on proud Lady Liberty.

He throws a pie at prisoners, and dissidents all find

They’re beat with rubber chickens when in protest they are lined.

He moons the other nations when they sanction his regime;

His jokes are foreign policy and taught in academe.

And when at last he’s led before a firing squad, he grins --

And asks to hear kazoos instead of sobbing violins.

Snow

The sky has come down

To cover branches in lint

To bear silently

Winter Light

The pure winter light

Softens abandoned childhood

Hides the trash they left