He got 2 million people to say they’d storm Area 51. Now he’s planning an alien festival. (WaPo)

(Sung to the tune of "I Went to the Animal Fair)
I went to the alien fair;
the Martians and Klingons were there.
The planet Cardoon had sent out a goon
that combed its radioactive hair.
No one could debunk that the Moon man got drunk
and fell on his trunk,
then started to sneeze -- producing large bees
which stung the Sirius skunk, the skunk, the skunk . . . 

Fortnite star Ninja left Twitch. Then the platform recommended porn to his followers. (WaPo)

"Video games are a waste of time" said Crazy Henry to me the other night, as we sat around watching NCIS reruns on Netflix. For once we were hanging out at my place instead of his. 
"You'll get no argument from me" I told him. 
Suddenly Crazy Henry stood up, closed his eyes, clenched his fists, and floated off the floor a few inches. He stayed there for a good five minutes before coming down.
"That's amazing!" I shouted at him. "How'd you do that?"
Crazy Henry just stared at me, his eyes turned a solid green.
"I am not your Crazy Henry" he said, but it wasn't his voice at all; it sounded like a pneumatic drill going through birthday cake. "I am Video Gamer X45, from the Planet Crouton. I have taken over this body in order to challenge your planet's best video gamers. Take me to them."
"I don't know any" I replied truthfully. "Me and Crazy Henry think video games are a complete waste of time. Anybody who plays video games is nothing but a big loser."
The not-Crazy Henry looked shocked, then began to cry. Big purple tears ran down his cheeks. "You're mean" he said to me. "I'm going home." Crazy Henry slumped over onto the couch, and it took a quart of rocky road ice cream to revive him. When at last he could speak I asked him how he felt. "The galaxy is nothing but a big video game" he whispered to me. 
"You'll get no argument from me" I told him. 

U.S. Officials Suspect New Nuclear Missile in Explosion That Killed 7 Russians (NYT)

We have to blow each other up; it seems to be our bent.

Explosions are the way we want to win an argument.

Nobody ever said a bomb was too expensive, so

we make 'em better all the time -- soon reaping what we sow.

I think I'd like to build a bomb that detonates with food,

to feed the hungry millions that upon our planet brood;

a shell that spreads goodwill and cheer I'd fire frequently,

or one that only decimates a health infirmity.

I'd strafe the world with flowers and get rid of sticks and stones,

using military might to spray cologne with drones . . . 

having much dispute and wonderful contentions one with another.

. . . having much dispute and wonderful contentions one with another.
Alma 2:5

Contention is ungodly noise,

robing us of grateful poise.

 When we give in to dispute

we're no better than a brute.

Let us hearken quietly

to each other and be free

from the turmoil of dissent

that to hell the devil sent.