Hermounts

 

(photo courtesy of Rob Reed)

In scripture Hermounts is filled

with ravenous beasts,

waiting for injured human prey.

I am among the injured, Lord;

save me from the ravening claws

of 2020 fear and despair!

A list of Roman Cisterns.

 

I have made a study of ancient Roman cisterns

ever since last night.

They are of great interest to small bond holders.

The story they tell is out of the question.

Studying under Dagmar and Max Factor,

I initially agreed with their thesis that

all material matter is immaterial.

But the discovery of an Arctic Cistern Culture

in Burkina Faso last week

has shaken the periphery of

Western Civilization.

To say nothing of Paul McCartney's 

grandfather.

I'm not immune to the controversy. 

In fact, I've been to the dentist

twice in the past four months.

But as Menander has it --

Poetry is a victimless crime. 

********************************

A reader offers this suggested revision:

I have made a study of small bond holders

ever since last night.

They are of great interest to Max Factor and Dagmar.

The story they tell is out of the question.

Studying under the controversy,

I initially agreed with the thesis that

all Western Civilization is immaterial.

But the discovery of Menander 

in ancient Roman cisterns last week

has shaken the periphery of

Arctic Cistern Culture.

To say nothing of the dentist's 

grandfather.

I'm not immune to material matter. 

In fact, I've been to Burkina Faso

twice in the past four months.

But as Paul McCartney has it --

Poetry is not a victimless crime. 

A prayer for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

 

O Lord, the villain is deposed

as our election now has closed.

Joe Biden and Ms. Harris rise

as leaders bright before our eyes.

Please, Father, help us crush the imps

of spite and catch a better glimpse

of who we are and soon can be

as we repair our history.

Joe Biden is a bit antique;

please help him to revive, not creak.

Guide him to find that balance sweet

that brings consensus, not defeat.

And may Ms. Harris always be

his helpmate in this victory.

And should that villain cause a stir

and try our triumph to obscure,

may all the sprites in hell be loosed

until he has been well vamoosed!

Amen.

****************************

A reader's poetic response:

Thank you for your poetic rhymes, during these peculiar times.

Old men tear hair from their hoary heads, rather than rest in their downy beds.

This leader from another age, called upon to turn the page.

Will bring back hope and dignity, to a people brought down on their knees.

Let us now do what must be done, to nurture hope, the works begun.

Messages from God

 

Messages from God, I fear

are not oft seen as quick or clear.

He does not text, He does not phone,

and so some think we're all alone.

But through the storm or still of night

He's there to tell us wrong from right.

Choose you by the voice of this people.

 

The scriptures tell us that the voice

of the people made the choice

of who would govern them at times;

with virtue lead or pursue crimes.

The blessing of free choice remains

part of our sacred growing pains.

Today's Timericks.

 

The bladder of an old man is a sight for sorry eyes/a sneeze or cough produces an uncomfortable surprise/at night he's at the mercy of a single thirsty sip/as back and forth tween bed and throne he's forced to gaily skip/do not grow old, my chipper friends, or you will find your bladder/turns on you with cruelty like the foul puff adder.

I welcome all the wonders of a winter fairyscape/the icicles that gouge me and the windshields needing scrape/the sidewalks iced and waiting for a single misplaced step/the wind chill index reading as outside I bravely schlep/today it's warm and pleasant, but tomorrow it may be/the worst damn blizzard we have seen in a century.

Not yet called and holding tight, the race remains capricious/all this waiting seems almost to be a thing seditious/but whoever wins the prize, there's one thing that's for certain/With disaster this here land continues to be flirtin'.

Ev'rybody eats fast food/as they sit at home and brood/what is there to do but eat/watch Netflix and send a tweet/Hermits living hungrily/we depend on KFC.

Republicans will not concede/their fearless leader failed to lead/with heads secure in gritty sand/they will not take the proper stand/and so it's time to bid adieu/to a party up the flue. 

do not vote by Sharpie/it invalidates the slate/and you will be arrested/to confront an awful fate/better to have millstones/hung around your neck because/when the cops have got you/they will treat you like a scuz.

 

Where to go for privacy/A Ferris wheel or the Dead Sea?/There's no way I can get much done/when staying home is too much fun/I need a quiet working place/Perhaps I'll fly to outer space!

Today's timericks.

 

Who cares about the President/as long as bacon's resident/upon my plate, in lavish piles/I'll greet the next Boss with but smiles/I'm complacent and content/as long as rashers I can scent.

Rupert Murdoch is the man/ev'ryone just loves to pan/he's too bossy, he's too old/he has gotten too much gold/newspapers now all agree/he is Simon F. Legree/Me, I think the poor old guy/just craves a piece of mutton pie. 

The dinosaurs did not die out from meteor impact/volcanoes didn't kill 'em off, nor caveman artifact/what did 'em in was weariness from natural selection/when they decided to invent that lethal first election.

A hurricane in Florida is old news nowadays/they smash into the beaches there as if they'd come to graze/If my home were in Florida, I'd heed the Bible tale/and build myself an ark and wait for one more storm to sail.

More states are voting for the weed that banishes dull care/the marijuana era has arrived without fanfare/you'd think that this would satisfy us in the face of doom/but now the stoners want to legalize their darling shroom.  

In Paris we will sign no deals/despite tree huggers' loud appeals/we think that coal and gasoline/are patriotic in extreme/this 'global warming' is a joke/we simply need more chimney smoke!

in Sonoma's wine country/fires still on are on a spree/all the grapes have sizzled up/there will be no cheery cup/vintners need a brand new goal/they should start to sell charcoal.

a happy meal for breakfast doesn't thrill me in the least/I NEED some grits and pancakes to appease my inner beast/no rubber eggs or hash browns damp for this guy, if you please/I prefer an omelette that eschews all process cheese/besides, I'm always late to get to work so haven't time/to stop at a McDonald's for a culinary crime.

Malicious music played by folk/with too much money is a joke/feuding mansions makes me yearn/for people who must work and earn/all their daily bread alone/without a trust fund or a throne/give me simple peasants whose/brawls stem from just honest booze. 

People with money

 

People with money know just what is best

for all the downtrodden and homeless oppressed.

They talk up the cause of the poor with great zeal,

and their use of words makes a wonderful spiel.

They've never known real poverty, it is true;

but why should that keep them from their bugaboo?

Fortunate, blessed with a work ethic drive,

they have no idea what it takes to survive

the ache that a pauper who stays down too long

feels, like the thud of a dissonant gong.

Well, let them spout all their platitudes neat --

it won't hurt or help those who live on the street.

Today's timericks.

 

This election is complex/almost like there were a hex/who will win nobody knows/least of all those polling schmoes/but whoever we will choose/somehow seems like we still lose.  

Gimme some ol' TV show/that's as boring as gray snow/something couch potatoes dote on/and never ever have to vote on/this election I'll survive/by shutting down my brain's hard drive.

I'm going to the beach since plague/upon the sand seems very vague/what microbe could there ever be/upon the blue waves of the sea?/I'll build a castle, sip Mai Tais/beneath the azure tropic skies/and should it happen I'm infected/at least my tan will be perfected.

They were angry because of the word

 

The word of God makes some folks steam;

because it wrecks their carnal dream.

But Galilee or Sinai,

those words ne'er slide or modify. 

The wise believe in them always;

the rest will flee from craze to craze.