Timericks from today's headlines.

What You Gain, and Sacrifice, When You Move Back In With Parents  (WSJ)

Living with your maw and paw/always has been quite a draw/for the young and pauperized/So should we be much surprised/that our basements once again/include guitars and playpen?

A pandemic surge in food delivery has made ghost kitchens and virtual eateries one of the only growth areas in the restaurant industry  (The Washington Post)

Ghostly kitchens make my meals/ev'rything from soups to eels/Galloping the livelong day/I get sturgeon from Green Bay/Beef from out of Omaha/with a kale-based fresh coleslaw/Do I miss the lunchtime rush/rubbing elbows in a crush?/Since I now dine all alone/I can suck a marrow bone/without censure or disgrace/To me it's all just splendid glace!

This Thai national park was tired of visitors leaving trash, so the government mailed it back to them  (The Washington Post)

Visitors who leave a stash/in Thai parks of dirty trash/now will get it C.O.D./from a fed up agency/Justice comes in packets strange/to litterbugs in their home range.

The Science Behind WFH Dressing for Zoom.  (WSJ)

Wearing bunny slippers may not make you feel too great/as you work on Zoom perhaps to sell some real estate/Scientists now tell us to dress better than before/That casual attire makes us really feel quite poor/So cinch that necktie, smooth that blouse, and visit the beautician/to bring careers and self esteem to guaranteed fruition!

How California became ground zero for climate disasters.  (NYT)

California's golden clime/turns into an arson crime/with the hills now all ablaze/as if it was End of Days/Keep your beaches; I prefer/living where the air is pure.

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 20

 

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 19.

 

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 18.

 

2021 Best Colleges in America: Harvard Leads the University Rankings (WSJ)

 

I wish I'd gone to college/and got a good degree/But I am strictly lowbrow/don't know my ABC/I gotta use my fingers/when adding up a bill/For higher education/I never felt a thrill/I write these simple verses/in humble lodgings bare/I'm stupid, unambitious/I'd make a scholar stare/My skill set is so puny/I couldn't get a job/mopping floors or even/turning a door knob/Yet when I think of students/with all their heavy debt/while I don't owe nobody/I guess I've no regret.

Where a woman spreads her love

 

Where a woman spreads her love

her power comes from Christ above.

No king commands the grace we feel

when women use their cordial zeal.

Her spirit soft and warm defeats

the devils in their brazen seats,

and distills upon the weak

 peace to spirit and physique.

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 17

 

Experiments in Collage: Vol. 16

In case you didn't realize it, each of these experiments are postcards mailed to journalists, government officials, and private friends. 

 

Let us find some poison spray

 

"Hours before law enforcement forcibly cleared protesters from Lafayette Square in early June amid protests over the police killing of George Floyd, federal officials began to stockpile ammunition and seek devices that could emit deafening sounds and make anyone within range feel like their skin is on fire, according to an Army National Guard major who was there."   Washington Post.  

Let us find some poison spray

that will send those pests away

from protesting all the time;

it is simply such a crime!

Stockpile weapons for the use

'gainst those crazies on the loose!

Heat rays, like in H.G. Wells,

will elicit traitor yells.

Free speech has its limits here,

and should always go in fear.

This ain't Russia, no sirree:

Land of the Bunk and Lynching Bee!

Experiments in Collage. Vol. 15.