If only North Dakota were closer,
I could walk to it.
Breathe in that scent of watchful waiting;
Hear the quiet hum of icicles fighting the sun.
If only I could get to North Dakota tonight --
I feel certain someone would have a piece of
cud for me to thoughtfully chew on
for the rest of my life.
And people would nod at me,
in a friendly manner,
and not talk very much.
But no -- I'm stuck way out here between
leering mountain ranges;
a victim of encroaching prosperity, surrounded by
cunning do-gooders who want to help me
improve myself.
They never stop talking.
They give me water with special
molecules in it.
Ancient inedible grains
that go down like gravel.
They don't even stop talking to eat.
When I look at them, all I see
is Doris Day.
When I look deeper, all I see
are plastic bags floating in the wind.
They tease me incessantly
to invest in cyber widgets;
they tell me my money will grow
exponentially.
I don't even know what
'exponentially' means.
They want to lave me in essential oils.
Take me into salt caves.
Cure my malaise with a perky smile
and a positive attitude.
They attack my cherished melancholy
like committed terrorists.
If I can't reach North Dakota,
maybe I can get to a western
ghost town.
Sit silently on a hill of mine tailings.
Immerse myself in the fumes
of underground coal fires.
Let my veins fill with alkali.
Which way to Sego, kind sir?
And don't come near me with that
skin moisturizer!