Photo: Postcard Mailed to President Biden Today.

 

Today's Timericks. (Featuring toy trains and penny stocks)

 

Along with baking and jigsaw puzzles earlier in the pandemic, model trains are among the passions being rediscovered while people are cooped up indoors. Several companies that make trains are reporting jumps in sales. For many people, the chance to create a separate, better world in the living room — with stunning mountains, tiny chugging locomotives and communities of inch-high people where no one needs a mask — is hard to resist. NYT.

A train set in the living room is not for kids today/Adults are laying tracks to keep insanity at bay/Hauling boxcars; signal switching; tiny mountain passes/is sweeter to enthusiasts than the best molasses/If I had my druthers, I would play with trains instead/of trying to go out and earn my daily bread!

Penny stocks — the name given to more than 10,000 tiny companies like SpectraScience — have been around forever, but they’re booming as small investors flood the market. And this time around, social media is fueling the craze. Whether traded to fend off the boredom of pandemic living or to turn a quick profit, these dirt-cheap but risky shares are another frontier in a world where meme stocks like GameStop gained overnight stardom, Dogecoin morphed from a joke cryptocurrency to a hot investment and a digital artwork known as an NFT sold for $69 million.   Penny stocks occupy a low-rent district of Wall Street, a world rife with fraud and chicanery where companies that don’t have a viable product, or are mired in debt, often sell their shares. Traded on the lightly regulated over-the-counter, or O.T.C., markets, penny stocks face fewer rules about publishing information on financial results or independent board members. Wall Street analysts don’t usually follow them. Major investors don’t buy them.  NYT.

Penny stocks are just the ticket/to begin a sticky wicket/Buy them cheap then sell them dear/What is there to really fear?/So think all the suckers who/swallow all the ballyhoo.

If you're tempted to invest/give your foolish greed a rest!

Still Stuck at Home? It Might Be Time to Work on That Novel. Online writing groups have thrived during the pandemic, with membership fueled by more time at home and fewer to no social obligations.  NYT.  

Nowadays I feel the urge/on my novel to so splurge/that its subtle paradigms/show up in the New York Times/Then I'll be that lucky feller/with an opulent best seller/Online writer's group, let's talk/all about my writer's block!

People of Asian descent have been living in the United States for more than 160 years, and have long been the target of bigotry.  WaPo. 

Whether you're from Vietnam, China, or Japan/America still welcomes you -- like an old bedpan/We have opportunities for our Asian friends/paying them with violence, and other dividends.

TAIPEI, Taiwan — Taiwanese officials urged people to consider the implications before changing their name to "Salmon," after dozens flooded government offices to register a name change so they could qualify for a restaurant promotion.

The frenzy took hold this week after Japanese chain Sushiro promised a free sushi meal to customers whose names included the traditional Chinese characters “guiyu,” meaning salmon. Customers with names that sounded similar to “salmon” could enjoy a half-price feed.  WaPo.

I'd change my name to 'hamburger' or 'french fries' in a trice/or 'chopsticks' if it meant free servings of some ham fried rice/I'd draw the line, however, at reneging patrimony/if it came to changing mine to something like 'baloney.' 

People have said for years that the bus could be the next big thing in transportation. Now we can make that a reality. With the proper investment, city buses might be transformed into the sort of next-generation transportation service that technology companies and car companies have spent billions over the last decade trying to build — a cheap, accessible, comfortable, sustainable, reliable way to get around town.  WaPo. 

I would take the bus to work/were I CEO or clerk/I would take it out to eat/and sit back to post a tweet/I would take it out to dance/I would take the bus to France/I would take it anywhere/if I could afford the fare.

If you want a problem to recede into the distance/do not bother with the facts or a loud insistence/Just spread a lot of cash around to people near and far/and it will be like children with a brand new candy bar/They will skip away in glee, so glad to stuff their face/and that is how you win a narrow presidential race!

Photo: I mailed this handmade postcard to President Biden today, to send him a graphic message.

 

Today's Timericks. (Now With More Squishmallows!)

 

If you need a judge real quick/in New Jersey you'll feel sick/Magistrates are overwhelmed/by the cases they have helmed/They collapse with nervous strain/as justice goes right down the drain.

Squishmallows, a line of soft, huggable toys created in 2017, have exploded in popularity during the pandemic, thanks to social media and in particular TikTok (or “SquishTok,” as fans call it). Collectors say the stuffed animals have given them comfort in a painful year, and that hunting for them has fostered a much-needed sense of community during an extended period of isolation.  NYT. 

Squishy toys are all the rage/if you're feeling in a cage/As a comfort it sure serves/for those raw pandemic nerves/Buy one now, before the price/doubles, triples, once or twice.  

Greenland's ice sheet is too fickle/putting mankind in a pickle/When it melts (not IF, my friend)/it could mean our very end/Have we crossed the Rubicon/with global warming too far gone?

in cemeteries headstones rest/at an angle in their quest/to remember those below/who have gone on high (or low)/we are squatters in their place/running death a futile race.

Why so many crazies born and bred here?

Can it be

toxins in the water or some inner

killer bee?

Is there too much sugar and red meat in

all our meals?

Is it residue from all our driving

on bad wheels?

Lone gunmen of today are not John Wayne,

not by a mile;

they don't seem fueled by anything

except their own damn bile.

Photo Essay: Postcards Mailed to President Biden.

 

Prose Poem: A New York Minute

 

"I'll be with you in a New York minute"

I said to her on my phone,

in the lobby of a busy Federal building downtown.

Then I put my mask back on.

Suddenly whistles began to screech

and gongs began to reverberate,

like in a World War Two movie

when the sub has to crash dive.

Several people in expensive business suits

fainted dead away at my feet.

Children clung to their mothers, 

wide eyed with terror and loathing.

Two cops pinioned me to the wall.

The first cop snarled

"Caught in the act -- profiling!"

The second cop put me in handcuffs

before barking "You'll get life for this!"

I was led away to a judge, who

looked at me the way an owl

looks at a field mouse.

"I'm from New York, son"

he said sternly. "And I suppose

you don't care for our bagels, either!"

I wanted to explain, but my pro bono lawyer

advised me to throw myself on the

mercy of the court.

That was a big mistake.

I was led away to a correction facility

far away in New Jersey.

The first night they put me in a room

filled with inflated balloons;

they kept popping at random intervals.

I didn't get a wink of sleep.

Next day they fed me on nothing but

pot stickers -- with only 

fry sauce as a dip.

"This is an abomination!" I screamed

through the bars.

No one responded.

And so it continued.

I was hooked up to electrodes,

which then did nothing.

Nothing at all.

I nearly lost my mind.

Several times a week they

brought in Bob Ross to teach

me watercolors.

Now I hate the very sight

of mountains and pine trees.

After several months

I was a mere shadow of a man.

I had bags under my eyes

the size of Mount Rushmore.

But somehow I survived.

After twenty long years they released me.

"You're free to go now, friend"

said the Warden kindly,

as he gave me ten dollars

and a clean pair of socks.

He opened the gate to the outside

world. I blinked at the bright sunlight.

"Gee" I said happily, "it must be summer."

"It's hotter than a Texas pistol."

This time I got sent to 

Coney Island.  

Today's Timericks. (Featuring Deepfake!)

 

The border swelling like balloon/there is very little room/for the poor and desp'rate ones/with their daughters and their sons/No one wants them; no one cares/Not a part of world affairs/So they sit and wait -- for what?/They are merely scuttlebutt.

Have someone you want to ruin?/Deepfake does it very soon/Amateurs can use with ease/cranking out a lot of sleaze/Anyone can be a mark/with this unsigned cyber-snark/Don't believe what you can see/in this age of trickery.

Preachers, rabbis, swamis too/must persuade their pious crew/to get shots to keep them well/Do they threaten them with hell/Or just plead for common sense/from parishioners quite dense/Atheists get vaccinated/without being consecrated.

Here it comes: another tax/as your car is making tracks/ev'ry mile, you pay a fee/just to have mobility/It ain't right, and it ain't just/I'll leave my truck at home to rust!

Today's Timericks.

 

Big government is here to stay/but not how pundits like to say/Democracy and otherwise/are not the ruling macho guys/Our lives are ruled from dusk to dawn/but no one else but Amazon.

Our country's at a wonderful stage/with Space Force, but no living wage/While power fails and taps spew dirt/we now have sugar-free dessert/Although America has heart/our infrastructure falls apart.

The battle to change the rules has been reignited by a court ruling in the western city of Osaka Japan last month that awarded a former student $3,000 for “emotional distress” incurred after she was hounded out of high school because her hair wasn’t black enough. But the court controversially backed the school’s legal right to impose the rule.  (WaPo)

In Japan you must take care/to go to school with deep black hair/Otherwise you're hounded so/your education goes fallow/Courts have upheld this cruel rule/So if you're blonde, don't go to school!

Today's Timericks.

 

A nursing home is such a pleasure/residents recline at leisure/Attendants cater to their whims/working under pseudonyms/Their fees are growing ever steeper/So I'll stay home for the Grim Reaper.

If you're down in old Kentuck/you will be way out of luck/if you look cross at a cop/On your head they'll give a bop/then give you a guided tour/of the hoosegow, that's for sure!

The pork barrel is back in style/It causes congressmen to smile/Once again they're doing favors/for their district's green engravers/Calling it an 'earmark' means/they're getting back their limousines.

Elon Musk puts men to work/no matter if contagions lurk/at a Tesla plant or two/what cares he for sickly crew?/When a car from him you buy/remember those who had to die.

Down in sunny Mexico/children have no place to go/without parents anywhere/Border agents do not care/children rounded up like kine/left alone in camps to pine/Isn't this a pretty fix/all because of politics?

Here's a shout for good old MAD/a magazine that made kids glad/at the japes it gave adults/for their silly insane cults/How their artists must have chuckled/as a mutiny they suckled!

Nearly 7 million tax filers are in limbo and facing substantial delays in getting refunds so far this tax filing season, as the Internal Revenue Service struggles to keep up with the demands of issuing stimulus checks and implementing myriad tax code changes from coronavirus relief packages, including the one President Biden signed this week.  (WaPo)

Waiting on the IRS/this delay to quick address/is like waiting for the sun/a cold cinder to become/It may happen one fine day/long after we have passed away.

Market manias abound/Gold that's easy to be found/Bitcoin, NFT's, sports cards/investors hoisted by petards/insiders collect their fee/the rest of us risk poverty.

Once a bagel you have et/you're not likely to forget/just how good they chew and taste/Never let one go to waste!/I don't care just where they bake 'em/given choice, I'll always take 'em!/Even stale, I much prefer/a bagel over gold and myrrh. 

Photo Essay: More Postcards Mailed to President Joe Biden.