Today's Timericks.

 

My neighbor came down sick one day/and to myself I thus did say/I ought to bake a casserole/to take to him so he gets whole/This was a very noble thought/I thunk about it quite a lot/But by the time I reached his bed/the ingrate up and turned quite dead!

Wear a mask and get a shot/Yet another school of thought/says it's all a put-up-job/by the Biden-Pinko mob/If you don't know which way to go/just stay at home and count fish roe.  

When children come back home to roost/they bring more baggage than M. Proust/This Covid virus has given Boomers/too many exhausting roomers/So mom and dad take long vacations/in some cheap third-world type nations.  

The more sure word of prophecy.

 

The more sure word of prophecy,

available to you and me,

comes not from cults or gurus' chant,

but in the heart grows like a plant

when hearing a true prophet's voice --

you'll know it's true when you rejoice!

Today's Timericks. (With New and Improved Gun Control!)

 

It should come as no surprise/that Democrats have set their eyes/on people who have too much gelt/and want their bankbooks to get svelte/Joe Biden funds his spending spree/by shaking rich folks' money tree/If bankers weep, I do not care/since I am not a millionaire.

Ron Weiser of the GOP/made foolish comments recently/He said some ladies rode on brooms/then pronounced some deadly dooms/on his Democratic foes/Here's a guy whose brain's on doze/I bet he has prehensile toes.

I wonder if those activists/who want to worship guns/would feel the same if maniacs/gunned down their own young sons/What vaunted right is worth the risk/of sudden senseless death/What parent trades their children's life/for hollow shibboleth?

Rebellion upon the waters

 

I'm sailing in a leaky boat;

the Lord alone keeps me afloat.

And yet how oft I do defy

my Captain's orders and deny

His right to steer me safely to

my sacred blissful rendezvous!

Today's Timericks. (featuring deepfake!)

 

I wouldn't be a teacher/not for all the tea in Shanghai/The children are rambunctious/and you have to wear a necktie/Playing Minecraft on their phones/those little scholars dawdle/All they learn is from their folks/watching Fox News twaddle. 

When I was young a spicy dish did suit me to perfection/It was a macho moment when I downed a hot confection/But now my innards have become a quivering fiasco/from volcanic curries and a surfeit of Tabasco!  

I'm trapped inside a deepfake on my iPhone, mercy me!/I'm stuck as Martha Washington trimming my goatee/This app has got me flummoxed, and I don't know what to do/I'd like to find some expert help, but they're all deepfake too!

Amy, notre amour mort peut-il être ressuscité?

 

When I saw you yesterday, resurrection once again

took place in my heart and in my loins;

all that poignant pain reborn --

from your soul I'm too long shorn.

Have I spent those silver coins

Judas-like on fruitless yen?

Today's Timericks.

 

Chili con carne's the ticket for me/even the French, of it, all yell 'Mais oui!'/The meat and the beans and the fiery gravy/sail down my throat like a nectarous navy/Who cares about vapors that later are fanned/Just gimme some chili that has not been canned!

Ignorance and malice, sowing fields of rancid dreams/now concentrate their ire on the innocent vaccines/These oafs are only happy when their plots diminish hope/and make the people stumble as through sorrow they do grope.

The President's first forum with the press was unexciting/Unlike He Who Won't Be Named -- which seemed more like bullfighting/Normalcy's been gone so long, it's hard to recollect/how to deal with presidents with regular respect. 

 

New Love Poem For Joom

 

The stale coffee on your breath

and dark eyes to which I sank

as I kissed you half to death

and your greedy ardor drank.

Laughing, snapping teeth so white --

would you really truly bite me?

Holding on to what so tight,

since you never had to fight me?

I pushed down upon your hips,

tracing moles upon your back;

as you licked your ragged lips

and I called you 'Heart Attack."

Plucking eyebrows, brushing hair --

doing all that girly stuff;

I would watch you from a chair

and could never get enough.

I last saw you years ago

at the airport in Bangkok.

It was all so allegro;

it made love a laughingstock.

Now the mountains here are white

like the hair upon my head;

I still think of you at night

and could wish that I were dead.

Today's Timericks (with a helping of Van Gogh.)

 

Amazon and unions mix/just like smoothies and chop sticks/Amazon has sent out spies/so workers do not organize/Workers on a sit down strike/make old Bezos feel warlike/But with Democrats on top/unions are sure not to flop.

When a poet disappears/very few are shedding tears/Poets, gadflies, nuts; the same/All are playing just a game/So say ignoramus crowds/who have never ridden clouds. 

The world is an asylum/and we are trapped inside/Anyone escaping/is caught and swiftly tried/Van Gogh escaped so often/and painted what he saw/until he broke the windows/of ev'ry jail bourgeois. 

Photo Essay: The Postcards I Mailed to President Biden So Far This Week.