I had an old recliner that was taken away
and shot.
Then they came for my TV trays.
I fought them over my aged
cheddar cheese --
they handcuffed me to a
steam calliope
before squishing the cheese
under their jackboots.
Interesting fact:
circus people pronounce the word
'kal-EE-ope.'
But of course steam
calliopes,
however you pronounce them,
are a retro-terrorist threat,
and there are now none left.
Not even in museums.
But it all came apart when
they tried to pull down the Moon.
That thing's been around billions of years.
But when the men of liberal science tried
to pull it down with radio-magnetic waves
the Moon just went into a more elliptical
orbit --
disrupting the tides and speeding up
global warming.
Icebergs didn't melt, exactly.
Somehow the bergs got heavier and sank
to the bottom of the ocean,
crushing the krill breeding grounds.
Then they sent men up to the Moon in
rockets to nuke it.
Boy, they really hated that old Moon
because it has seen so much tyranny,
rape, slavery, and colonialism
and has never said a peep against it.
But here's the thing --
nuclear weapons won't work on
the Moon --
something to do with the gravity
and atmosphere.
So they erected a statue to
Everlasting Peace,
made out of the unexploded nuclear bombs,
in the Tycho crater.
It's a great tourist attraction.
