Haiku: 完璧な降雪 The perfect snowfall

 

the perfect snowfall --

so quiet it doesn't sigh;

blank white on green slate.

the perfect snowfall -- 

asleep on a pile of wood;

old rivals at peace.

the perfect snowfall --

fast falling off the branches;

so goes all our dreams.

Shirley.

A baby picture --

on the dirty barren grass;

so distant and lost.

Ice and salt melting

together on the asphalt --

winter soup du jour.

nobody calling --

but everybody talking;

welcome to the noise.

 the old leather chairs --

faded and cracked and worn out;

like those who sit there.

Narrative Poem: Help Wanted.

I went to work at Pizza Shack for fifteen dollars an hour.

It was a good gig while it lasted.

Then the boss yelled at me for sneezing on the dough.

So I left. Just threw off my apron and walked out.

There was a bus waiting for me outside. To take me to the rope factory.

Where I got twenty dollars an hour. For inspecting rope.

But that was as dull as dust. 

Sensing my dissatisfaction, I was approached by a headhunter.

She offered me my weight in gold to supervise a robocall center.

In Nebraska.

But who wants to live in Nebraska?

It's a great place . . . if you're a cornstalk.

She sweetened the deal by saying I could instead

go to the island of Bali and handle the robocall center there.

That sounded better, so I took the position.

But when I was flown to Bali the island had sunk.

In a recent typhoon. There was nothing left.

But floating coconuts.

So I went back to Pizza Shack. As the manager.

They let me live in the owner's penthouse apartment.

I bathe in the milk of Assyrian she-asses.

My assistant applies kohl around my eyes twice a day.

I have the power of life and death over thousands.

But still, the work is not all that fulfilling.

So I'm signing up with the Coast Guard in April. 

I already passed their physical. 

 

Haiku: 曇った山 Cloudy mountain white.

 

Even dull mornings

are brighter than the day's end;

cloudy mountain white.

dead white and dark green --

both struggle to carry on;

the finches bellow.

the finches bellow 

because their tree branch burned down --

no more closet space.

sleepy man in chair

what put you so much there?

are you a lazy slob

or is this a full-time job?

Haiku: タマネギの皮のように白い雪 Snow as white as onion peel

 

branches against brick --

snow as white as onion peel;

after church, a nap.

Carrots on counter --

dirty orange and crooked;

a bent sacrifice.

mother and daughter --

in the kitchen by their choice;

potatoes are fun.

Potatoes au gratin. At Valley Villa. For free. A cooking fetish.

I love cooking for large groups. So does Amy. So today Amy and I are preparing a huge Sunday dinner for after Stake Conference. It's open to everyone and anyone. At no charge. You just have to bring your own bowl/plate. We're serving a cheesy potato casserole with hamburger; slow cooker cabbage, carrots, and onions; and Amy's fabulous peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies. Anyone who shows up at our door at 1 p.m. will get a heapin' helpin'.

And don't forget to tune into KUTV Channel 2--Salt Lake, this coming Tuesday at 10 p.m. for a video on our crazy cooking fetish -- the TV crew interviewed us for 2 hours while we served split pea soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. 

 

And Pharaoh said unto Joseph

 "And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, I have dreamed a dream, and there is none that can interpret it: and I have heard say of thee, that thou canst understand a dream to interpret it."

Genesis 41:15

I never dream of cows or corn/but when I wake up in the morn/like Pharaoh I become perplexed/with thoughts of what is coming next/I have no Joseph to expound/if things will fly or strike the ground/And so without such fine input/I sit and rub my rabbit's foot. 

Putin and the News, with other poetical whimsies.

 

"Russia passed a law that threatens prison time for anyone publishing what authorities consider to be false information about the country’s invasion of Ukraine, which the Kremlin refers to as a special military operation."

WSJ

Old Putin decides that the news/does not align much with his views/Reporters who stray/are sent far away/where polar bears give interviews.

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I'm tired of the Covid/I wish it would depart/even with the face masks/infections off the chart/continue to develop/while anti-vaxers prate/that it is Biden's purpose/us to exterminate.

***********************

Never trust supply chain rules/they are made for crooks and fools/Ships and trucks and railroad cars/frozen fast beneath the stars/So it is, when I need eggs/all I find are stale nutmegs.

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Buttered toast and jam, for me/is a form of ecstasy/From the omelette I have strayed/Give me but sweet marmalade/Buttered crumbs upon my lips/are better than vacation trips!

Potiphar's Wife & other whimsies

Potiphar's wife the young Joseph did want/and so all her wiles before him did she flaunt/But Joseph resisted and her plans did fail/so in hellish fury she cast him in jail/Virtue is often rewarded that way/so only the brave with much godliness play. 

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the day is sold to rain/the rain that never ceases/the kind of rain, in fact/that gives my forehead creases/as if the sun a myth/had never showed its faces/to any single man/or to the human races/but I will persevere/in thinking sunlight loyal/that it will soon come back/and my depression spoil.

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the last poem is finished/my life's work complete/I've jumped all the hurdles/and stymied defeat/now I lay back/with my laurels and chips/collecting rewards/and concocting new dips.

Infant, you fill up that diaper so fast & other whimsies.

 

Infant, you fill up the diapers so fast/I don't see how mommy much longer can last/There is no delay tween the mouth and the bum/You mulch it right down to the very last crumb/Oh dear, now your mother has a look in her eye/that means it's MY turn to give changing a try!

*****************************

falling asleep at the wheel of a car/will carry the driver not too very far/a snooze going eighty is always a thrill/until there's a corpse in the wormy soil chill/so get lots of rest e'er you step on the gas/or angels will bring you a nice boarding pass.

***************************

People make jokes about Adam and Eve/I wish from such nonsense we'd get a reprieve/Don't they deserve peace and quiet, dear hearts/with nothing but fig leaves to cover their parts?