The Mormon Mafia

We are the Mormon Mafia/We're ready to attack/those who think a stake center/is some place for a snack/We are ev'rywhere disguised/as neighbors, friends, and folks/who never cuss and rarely laugh/at any dirty jokes/We have our secret signals/and our ways to say 'hello'/involving hearty handshakes/and a ton of green jello/If you try to cross us/we will fill your life with woe/whether you're in Utah or the wilds of Idaho/We think alike and act alike/and march to just one drum/If you think that you can sway us/then you are really dumb/McMullin in the White House/is our deviant goal, all right/We plan to sneak him in real soon/in the middle of the night/Resisting us is futile/we're like clean-cut Borg, you see/Our masters in Salt Lake/ will lead us on to victory!