As America becomes more partisan
and divided,
I have found a way to become
filthy rich.
It's a simple case of adopt
and then adapt.
Since everyone is sticking up
for their rights and no longer
fears being disagreeable,
our nation's infrastructure has
come unraveled.
My company's solution:
the extendible flag pole.
When a governor wants to honor
some dead liberal or conservative
by lowering the flag to half mast,
there's always a riot and legislative
deadlock.
My poles solve the problem
by leaving the flag in place,
and sending the pole up another ten
feet or more.
In other words,
you don't move the flag --
you move the pole.
I've got orders from every state in the Union --
and Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia.
And I'm going to use my wealth
to buy Lake Erie and drain it
for a parking lot.
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