Turkey Belongs to Erdogan

In Turkey no job is too safe.

The internet’s more like a waif.

And all dating shows

Have come to a close --

Cuz Erdogan they really chafe.

There is room for those with differing sexual attractions.

“There is room for those with differing sexual attractions.”

Jeffrey R. Holland

To comprehend the Lord’s embrace

Takes loving kindness, wit, and grace.

How oft we fools do push away

All those who from our course do stray.

Far better to let God alone

Throw any arbitrating stone.

To Amy

The fading light has stripped away my midday certainty,

as brewing shadows boil upon the mountains distantly.

Soon the stars and orbs of night descend upon the sum

Of all my doubts and heartaches -- leaving me both low and mum.

Then comes flooding back to me the past of love and joy --

When young and sound we played with life as if it were a toy.

We gamboled far together ere our roads asunder rent.

After that I found much less of all but discontent.

I dare not dream that you’ll come back -- I dare not, but I do.

But words upon the screen (or page) are merely deja vu.

They speak of ‘closure’ -- those who think the heart can prudent be.

But I know (maybe you do, too) that such is foolery.

No styptic pen can overwrite the blunders that destroyed

Our happiness and sent it crashing deep into the void.

But when the dawn lures me away from melancholy thought,

I sometimes fancy -- in spite of years -- our love you’ve not forgot.

Congress at 100 Days

A divisive election, the growing use of arcane rules that disenfranchise the minority party and a chaotic White House have combined to create one of the least productive opening acts by Congress in recent memory.

From the NYTimes 

Our Congress in session so far

Has done very little but spar.

Mistaking exhaust

For true Pentecost,

They’re moving as fast as cold tar.

The Murdered Journalists of Mexico

Mexico is one of the worst countries in the world to be a journalist today. At least 104 journalists have been murdered in this country since 2000, while 25 others have disappeared, presumed dead.

From the NYTimes

A journalist from Veracruz

No longer conducts interviews.

“A hole in the head

Is irksome” he said.

“I’ll write about soccer for news.”

Kindness to all

“As we earnestly strive to be true disciples of Jesus Christ . . . There will be no disparity between the kindness we show our enemies and the kindness we bestow on on our friends.”

Robert D. Hales

I’ve treated all my enemies with silence and disdain;

My friends receive warm words of praise as sweet as sugar cane.

To find some kindness in my heart for those who damage me

Is harder than to skate on mud or climb a thorny tree.

Yet Jesus has been very clear upon this subject -- when

He says to love my enemies can I respond “Amen?”

I’ll keep trying, Lord, to offer honey and refrain

From judging and condemning those who give me naught but pain.

Since thou dost make it rain upon the good and bad alike,

I’ll try to keep my charity from going out on strike!

Bachelors and Bread

As a dumb old bachelor I have so much stale bread

That if it didn’t start to smell I’d use it for my bed.

I only buy one loaf per week, but then go out to eat

So often that the lonely loaf turns into mucky peat.

I put some in the freezer but forget about it till

It freezer-burns to concrete and would blunt a diamond drill.

But sometimes only sandwiches at home can fill the void --

So if I’m lacking bread I start to cry or am annoyed.

I tried to keep a pig to eat my leavings with no pout --

But once it saw the mess I call my home it just moved out!

Becoming

“In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the plan of salvation and the gospel of Jesus Christ challenge us to become something.”

Dallin H. Oaks

Each day I am becoming, something more or something less.

Standing still is not an option that I can possess.

The process of creation is vouchsafed to one and all --

We have not been immobilised because of Adam’s fall.

The Gospel is transformative and not an anodyne --

My metamorphosis continues on without deadline.

So do not label me as ‘done’ or ‘through’ or even ‘dead’ --

I’m going to keep on rolling, though I’m just a poor retread!

Are Women Required to Register for the Draft?

(Suggested from a story by Linda Qiu)

Will women be drafted for war?

Our Congress discussed this before.

Right now it appears

Despite new frontiers

They’ll volunteer and nothing more.

Restaurant Review: The Sensuous Sandwich in Provo

There is nothing sensuous about a sandwich -- unless you're making one naked in the kitchen with a similarly unattired Kate Upton. However, in the interests of the public weal, I ventured forth this blustery afternoon to the Sensuous Sandwich on Center Street in downtown Provo to order their namesake sandwich. And this is my report:

The decor is, to borrow a felicitous phrase from Groucho Marx, of the 'crummy moronic' type. The booths are impossibly uncomfortable -- I could not fit into any of them. The walls are plastered with idiotic posters, most of them taped on and starting to peel off. There are several Wayne's World posters, and I was particularly repulsed by one that detailed a host of interesting facts about flatulence.

My six inch sub included ham, turkey, roast beef, and jack cheese. The flaccid meats were overwhelmed by even more flaccid shredded lettuce and paper thin tomato slices. My fountain drink cost extra. The whole shebang came to $5.89. I did not so much eat my sandwich as endure it. This place gets exactly 1 Burp -- and that's only because at least I did not get ptomaine poisoning. I'm thinking a Subway's would clean up in downtown Provo, if this is all the sandwich competition there is. A shrink-wrapped ready-made sandwich from Fresh Market down the street would have tasted better, and cost less.

Since my meal held absolutely no interest for me, I started pondering something that has puzzled me for years. This place offers fountain drinks in four sizes: small, medium, large, and extra large. The prices are $1.39; $1.69; $1.89; and $2.09, respectively. So far so good. But no matter what size you order, you can get all the free refills you want. So why on earth do people pay the most for the largest sized cup when they could get just as much pop with the smallest cup? All they have to do is walk up to the dispenser a few more times. I checked each booth, and everyone had either the large or the extra large cup. What does this say about the kind of people who eat and drink in such a place?

I'm pretty sure a straw poll taken right then and there would have revealed they all voted for Trump.