Ledes & Limericks. Thursday January 4 2018

The spit-roasted chicken emerged as a supermarket staple in the 1990s,
paving the way for the array of prepared foods that grocery stores sell today.
Now they are many grocery stores’ best-selling hot food item and a rare bright spot
in an industry struggling to adapt to a shift away from packaged foods.  From the Wall Street Journal.

I think that I shall never see

A bird on a rotisserie

That I don’t find a toothsome sight --

And normally the price is right.

I bring one home and strip the skin

And eat it all -- I know it’s sin,

But when you’re dealing with such baste

You cannot beat such scrumptious taste.

A bird and baguette near at hand,

And I am Falstaff -- fat and grand.

No other chicken dish equates

With what that turning pole creates!

Trump Lawyer Demands Book

Critical of President Be Shelved

@rebeccaballhaus

The Donald would like to see checked

A book that shows him as suspect

In turning around

And being a clown --

How much will the author collect?  

FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE, ONE LAUNDRY LOAD AT A TIME.

From the New York Times

@stanleyreed12

I’m washing my clothes with enzymes;

It saves on the soap and the dimes.

But should it ferment

My shirts get the scent

Of beer and belated good times.

俳句：液体の夕べ

夜は流れ落ちる 嵐の後の融解水のような ぬるま湯で溢れる



evening flows down
like meltwater after a storm
flooding with wet warmth

Photo Exhibit. Postal Art Display: What I Saw at the Circus.

These items were mailed to the Provo Museum of Mail Art during the last part of 2017, and are just now being added to our catalog.

"Arlequin" by Miroslav-Batan Blagojevic, of Serbia. 

No title. Postcard. Contributed by Chiara Pizzamigli, of Italy.

No title. By Makhlouf Yasmina, of Paris, France. 

"From a Montreal Newspaper." Contributed by Diane Bertrand, of Quebec, Canada. 

If you would like to send a postal art piece on the theme: "What I Saw at the Circus" feel free to mail to:

Provo Museum of Mail Art

c/o Tim Torkildson

PCHA Building

650 W  100 N

Suite 115

Provo Utah  84601  USA

There is no entry fee. All submissions become the property of the Museum, and will be digitally displayed on this web site. As of right now, there is no deadline for submissions. We have extended the deadline indefinitely, because of the large and continuing number of contributions.

le besoin d'amour

Jésus a averti que les iniquités dans les derniers jours deviendraient si grandes "que, si possible, ils tromperont les élus mêmes, qui sont les élus selon l'alliance" (JS-M 1:22, voir aussi Matthieu 24:24) . Je comprends que cela signifie que finalement même les plus fidèles des saints de l'alliance du Seigneur deviendront contaminés et menacés par les philosophies modernes. Je crois que c'est pour cette raison qu'à moins que ces jours ne soient raccourcis, aucun de nous ne pourrait rester longtemps indifférent à de telles tendances.

Theodore M. Burton

Jesus warned that iniquities in the last days would become so great “that, if possible, they shall deceive the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant” (JS—M 1:22; see also Matt. 24:24). I understand this to mean that eventually even the most faithful of the Lord’s covenant Saints will become contaminated and threatened by modern-day philosophies. I believe it is for this reason that unless these days are shortened none of us could long remain unaffected by such trends.

from Theodore M. Burton's 1979 talk "The Need for Love." 

Ledes & Limericks. Wednesday January 3 2018

Kim Jong Un Says He Has a Nuclear

Launch Button on His Office Desk

There once was a nutty old fake

Who blew up the world by mistake.

He buzzed for his tea,

But the button, you see,

Sent missiles the US to bake.

With the collapse of the Greek economy and unemployment at 21%,
pensioners are providing the main source of income for half the people
in the country. Some Greeks are even yanking their elders out of nursing homes
so they can make use of pension payments that would otherwise flow to the caretakers.  
From the Wall Street Journal

There once was an elderly Greek

Who lived in a nursing home bleak.

His kids had him yanked

To have his funds banked

For them to help run a boutique.

The Vandal and the Mosque:

A New Chapter of Forgiveness

in Arkansas

@stavernise

Forgiveness -- a wonderful word!

To shun it would be too absurd.

When offered, twill bless

Ev’ryone -- more or less;

It should be our planet’s watchword.

Investigative journalism is not dead.

Ask Roy Moore and John Conyers.  From the Washington Post

@callumborchers

Though fake news continues to rise/Before reader’s wondering eyes/The writers who snoop/

To bring us real poop/Are still our most loyal allies.

I’m Taking a Cigar Break. See You in Three Hours, 26 Seconds

@CharlesPassy

There was a young man from Pine Bluff

Who on a cigar took a puff.

He could not discern

How someone could yearn

For anything tasting so rough.

Powerful yet addicted to power:

Why the New York Times is in the hot seat so often

@Sulliview

The paper of record regrets

Nothing it ever begets.

A fact may not check

But, hey, what the heck --

We’re busy protecting assets.

Washington Attorney General Sues

Motel 6 for Sharing Guest Info With Feds

After long and weary miles, while driving through the sticks,

It’s nice to find a motor court like good ol’ Motel Six.

The sheets are clean, the shower’s hot, the clerk’s a pleasant guy --

Who also works for Uncle Sam as immigration spy.

So if you sign in as Gomez or Sancho or Patel

You might have agents coming for you at that darn motel.

They’ll want to see some evidence that you are kosher, see?

And then they’ll let you go back to Black Mirror on TV.

But if you cannot show them you belong here in the States

They’ll lodge you absolutely free behind some prison gates.

Then after you have suffered from the bedbugs and the ticks

They’ll take you far away from any good ol’ Motel Six . . .

Ledes & Limericks. Tuesday January 2 2018

EU Competition Chief Tracks

How Companies Use ‘Big Data’

A person in Brussels once found

That Big Data had got around

To using his thoughts

In sending robots

As pedlars to on his door pound.

A gelatine made from donkey hides is prized

As a traditional Chinese remedy.

Now slaughterhouses have opened

In Africa, and domestic animals are

Disappearing from villages.

From the New York Times

@RachelNuwer

The life of a donkey is sad.

Their skin drives the Chinese quite mad.

Boiled down as a glue

It cures yaws and flu --

In bed they become Galahad.

Alabama Newspaper Staffers

Accuse Publisher of Spanking

From The Cut  

@lisarya  

Reporters are naughty sometimes,

And for editorial crimes

Their boss must be quick

To wield a big stick;

It stirs up their well-read enzymes.

Dairies Are Awash

in Organic Milk

as Consumers Jump

to Alternatives

From the Wall Street Journal

@heatherhaddon

@b_parkyn

The pampered cow has been replaced

By almond trees, from which a paste

Is churned to be drunk --

The cows, in a funk,

Are laying the countryside waste!

un avertissement aux hommes

Je supplie instamment chacun de nous de respecter nos privilèges en tant que détenteurs du sacerdoce. Dans un jour à venir, seuls les hommes qui ont pris leur sacerdoce au sérieux, en cherchant diligemment à être enseignés par le Seigneur Lui-même, seront capables de bénir, de guider, de protéger, de fortifier et de guérir les autres. Seul un homme qui a payé le prix du pouvoir de la prêtrise sera en mesure d'apporter des miracles à ceux qu'il aime et de garder son mariage et sa famille en sécurité, maintenant et pendant toute 

l'éternité.   President Russell M. Nelson.

I urgently plead with each one of us to live up to our privileges as bearers of the priesthood. In a coming day, only those men who have taken their priesthood seriously, by diligently seeking to be taught by the Lord Himself, will be able to bless, guide, protect, strengthen, and heal others. Only a man who has paid the price for priesthood power will be able to bring miracles to those he loves and keep his marriage and family safe, now and throughout eternity.  President Russell M. Nelson. 

Photo Essay: 俳句

冬の鋭い光の中で すべて私の新しい希望が始まった ソフトランディングなし


in winter's sharp light
all my new hopes have launched
with no soft landing

羽のボール 冷たい鋳鉄パーチ 影の季節


a ball of feathers a cold cast iron perch a shadow season

飼料を控える 次の春の遅い到着のために 細い空の財布



withholding fodder for next Spring's slow arrival slender empty purses

スプレッド・イーグルのおもちゃ
暗くて乾いていて、疑いもなく愛された
今は霜のために残った

spread-eagle plaything
dark and dry and doubtless loved
now left for the frost 

FRANCE SETS UP LARGER TAX DEPT TO INVESTIGATE JEWS

"The department currently has 20

 Hebrew-speaking employees, 

and is in the process of hiring five more."

From the Jerusalem Post

The French are such a nosy race

They like to get right in your face.

How much you earn

How much you drink

What do you eat

What do you think

The Gallic nose grows longer still

When they make mountains from molehill

Investigating people who

May have a diff’rent point of view

So if you go to live in France

Don’t go for rights but for romance!

Reporter Byron Tau

Reporter Byron Tau, Wall Street Journal 

“It’s nobody’s business what tactics

a print reporter chooses to use in an

interview and if you don’t like it,

nobody is making you read it!”

Tweet by WSJ reporter Byron Tau  @ByronTau

There once was a writer named Tau

Who never cared zactly just how

He wormed his way in

To sorrow and sin --

His ethics were that of a plow.