Monday, January 29, 2018

Ledes & Limericks. Monday January 29,2018





An obit for chickens is rare;
It might make some editors stare.
At least the paid views
Cannot be fake news,
Or bot-driven clickbait -- so there!


Seems editors and their affairs
Are playing at musical chairs;
With unseemly speed
The old ones are kneed,
So new ones can give themselves airs.


I never read books anymore;
They simply are there for decor.
Their soothing pastels
Are nice parallels
To the blandness of mind I adore.




Lawyers Faced With Emojis

and Emoticons Are

All ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A lawyer in Sandusky, OH,
Did sue a most hapless fellow
For his emojis
That were sent to please

His girlfriend and make her mellow.



and finally:

Reporters who hang around Trump
Are subject to his constant grump.
Is it worth a scoop
To take all his poop --

Or wouldn’t they rather gas pump?

Sunday, January 28, 2018

the cold dawn pastels



the cold dawn pastels
above the snowy rooftops
promise just one day




the gloss of winter




the gloss of winter
preserves the longing for spring
in the cold white heart


Ledes & Limericks. Sunday January 28 2018. Special LDS Edition.





LDS Church statement on

DACA calls for

'hope and opportunity'



Hope and opportunity may be in short supply
As the country struggles with what’s true and what’s a lie.
But no fake news has ever been invented that could sway
The pure in heart from working for more justice, less delay.
May all good people here upon our soil find recompense
For immigration policies that rarely make much sense.
Aren’t we all just strangers in a land that’s strange indeed --
Working for our visa to a place with love, not creed?  


LDS founders of ‘Beauty

Redefined’ say the road

to body image resilience

is found in power and

purpose



A positive body image
Is something I struggle to keep.
Especially since fried chicken
Is getting to be really cheap.
Maybe it’s time I consider
My image needs an overhaul --
And stop thinking I am a bean pole,
but more of a round bowling ball!


OR


There was an old man from Tooele
Who flavored his food with vanilla.
A diet, said he,
For firm mastery
in eating just a scintilla.




The reason that Mormons support
Such a remarkable sport
Is that they believe
On earth we must grieve
To get to a heavenly court.



Saturday, January 27, 2018

The mountains hold mute




the last ones of all
an obsolete tribe of brown
the mountains hold mute






the cold night rouses
there is a hint of something
lighter than snowfall





the rose haw is shut
the tumbled stones rest for good
winter means to hold




Most 'Likes' are as phony as a three dollar bill




All these accounts belong to customers of an obscure
American company named Devumi that has collected
millions of dollars in a shadowy global marketplace for
social media fraud. Devumi sells Twitter followers
and retweets to celebrities, businesses and anyone
who wants to appear more popular or exert
influence online. Drawing on an estimated stock of
at least 3.5 million automated accounts, each sold
many times over, the company has provided customers
with more than 200 million Twitter followers,
a New York Times investigation found.  From the NYTimes


Celebrities like to use bots
For followers that are ersatz.
It gives them street cred
(as well as swelled head)
Until their fans connect the dots.


OR



There’s so much that’s humbug today,
I wonder what Barnum would say?
His brand of deceit
Was simple and sweet

Compared to Devumi’s foul sway.

Ledes & Limericks. Saturday January 27 2018




From Global Investigative Journalism Network

Reporters afraid of the bot
Have tied themselves into a knot.
News automated
Means jobs vacated --
though platforms cannot write worth squat!


Saudi authorities demanded at least $6 billion from Prince al-Waleed
to free him, people familiar with the matter have said, among
the highest figures they sought from those detained in a
makeshift prison at the Riyadh Ritz-Carlton.


The Saudis make prison so pleasant --
The inmates all dine on wild pheasant.
When billions are paid
Then out they parade --
Free as a bird (for the present.)

Elephants are afraid of bees.
Let that sink in for a second.
The largest animal on land is so terrified of a
tiny insect that it will flap its ears,
stir up dust and make noises when
it hears the buzz of a beehive.


Instead of a mouse, it’s the bee
That elephants fear constantly.
It isn’t the sting
That makes them take wing --
It’s their ears where bees hold jamboree!






Friday, January 26, 2018

Karen Schwartz's Photograph of her Father's Boat

Photograph by Karen Schwartz



no two drops alike
no motive beyond being
greedy for the light



the north wind



slippery jewels
on the hard face of a rock
facing the north wind


Ledes & Limericks. Friday January 26 2018




The citizen journalist who
Hasn’t yet made her debut
Can now be a star
With her own sidebar
(but still won’t be paid a cashew)


New tax rules are hastening automation and modernizing in
U.S. factories, giving manufacturers an incentive
to buy machinery and boost productivity in a tight
labor market.
A factory worker found out
He no longer had any clout --
The new tax conceit
Made him obsolete --
A robot has put him to rout.

Here's how faith leaders

are reflecting on

Trump's first year in

office



Religion and state do not mix
It makes for too many sly tricks
when Trump has to say
he follows God’s way
I’m tempted to pick up some bricks


Budweiser Benches Famous

Clydesdales for Super

Bowl LII


When Budweiser benches its horses
The stars leave off marking their courses.
A Super Bowl game
Without them is tame;

Coors will now be my buzz forces!