LDS Church statement on

DACA calls for

Hope and opportunity may be in short supply

As the country struggles with what’s true and what’s a lie.

But no fake news has ever been invented that could sway

The pure in heart from working for more justice, less delay.

May all good people here upon our soil find recompense

For immigration policies that rarely make much sense.

Aren’t we all just strangers in a land that’s strange indeed --

Working for our visa to a place with love, not creed?

A positive body image

Is something I struggle to keep.

Especially since fried chicken

Is getting to be really cheap.

Maybe it’s time I consider

My image needs an overhaul --

And stop thinking I am a bean pole,

but more of a round bowling ball!

There was an old man from Tooele

Who flavored his food with vanilla.

A diet, said he,

For firm mastery

in eating just a scintilla.

The reason that Mormons support

Such a remarkable sport

Is that they believe

On earth we must grieve

To get to a heavenly court.