Reporters are a lonely bunch

Reporters are a lonely bunch;

They do not get invites to brunch.

Although they show some bravery,

They’re better known for knavery.

The public thinks they’re pushy, plus

They have a tendency to cuss.

I like ‘em cuz most are sincere

(especially when drinking beer.)

Unrestricted Entrance of Immigrants is the Only Way to Save Social Security

The only thing that will save Social Security in the United States is the unrestricted entrance of immigrants into our country; they work harder and longer -- and often have two jobs at a time -- than the rest of us, and they always pay their taxes. They have many children, who will in turn go to work and pay taxes. And, if they do not behave themselves as good American citizens, we can deport them before they themselves can collect a cent of Social Security. Without this enormous pool of active paying immigrants, so ready to do the most menial work, our Social Security will become a toothless beggar -- a hiss and a byword to the nations.

Ledes & Limericks. Saturday February 10 2018

Boston Herald columnist

suspended after being duped

by radio listener posing as

Tom Brady’s agent

 from the Washington Post

Reporters would do well to stay

Unmoved by some communique

From online sources hinting scoop --

Until gazed at through jeweler's loupe

To determine if the case

Is concrete or just made of lace.

Never trust a solid lead

Until a cynic will proofread.

I often give up on myself

And want to be put on the shelf.

But God and His Son

Are not yet quite done

With this roly poly old elf!

There is no logo on my hat.

My t-shirt is plain white and flat.

I sport no label on my jeans.

My shoes are blank by any means.

I ain’t your crummy billboard, friend,

Unless on me some bucks you spend.

They're Disneyland superfans.

Why a lawsuit is alleging

gangster-like tactics against

one social club

From the LATimes

I’ve got a tat of Mickey on my chest that’s very bright.

On my back in pastels I have beautiful Snow White.

Goofy’s on my right arm, on my left is Donald Duck --

As for Minnie, well -- if you could see her you might cluck!

weathered ruined rock

weathered ruined rock

sentinel on heedless road

passing loss and gain

wood and stone and sky

wood and stone and sky

blend the meaning of all things

into legacy

Ledes & Limericks. Friday February 9 2018

Brazil’s biggest newspaper, the Folha de S Paulo, has announced that it will
no longer publish content on its Facebook page, accusing the social media
giant of encouraging fake news with an overhaul of its news feed algorithm.

“In effectively banning professional journalism from its pages in favour of
personal content and opening space for ‘fake news’ to proliferate, Facebook
became inhospitable terrain for those who want to offer quality content
like ours,” said executive editor Sergio Davila.

From the Guardian

The ‘news’ is a flexible thing.

And it has been known to take wing,

Soaring completely

Above facts quite neatly

To gather more impact and sting.

Online classrooms offer greater flexibility and freedom,

but a review of more than 400 full-time virtual schools

shows they deliver relatively poor performance and

low graduation rates.

From the Wall Street Journal

Little Johnny cannot read.

Little Suzy eats duckweed.

They were schooled at home, you see --

And there they learned their ABF.

We All Have a Stake

 in the Stock Market, Right? 

Guess Again

I’ve never owned a single stock/I hope Wall Street goes under/I’d never trust a bizness that/relies so much on plunder.

Valentine's Day

Those who push Saint Valentine

Should be plunged in boiling brine.

Wretches who give choc’late boxes

Should be chained to rabid foxes.

Libertines who mail out hearts

Deserve a rain of fiery darts.

And caitiffs who go out on dates

Deserve the very worst of fates --

Flood and famine, emerods,

Killer whales in swarming pods.

Thus old bachelors agree --

It’s just a day of infamy!

Ledes & Limericks. Thursday February 8 2018

Decrying what he called “a toxic atmosphere”

created by President Trump’s administration,

a Democratic congressman from California

today introduced the Journalist Protection Act.

The proposal would make it a federal crime to

assault a journalist in the process of gathering news.

 From Forbes  

Reporters will soon be protected;

Whenever a threat is detected

Against their welfare,

The felon will stare

Through bars just for being suspected.

As a boy my eagle eye ne’er missed a fallen coin;

From mud and dust and even slush I gladly would purloin.

And when I grew to manhood and would stroll the boulevard

I still would cast my glance about, for pennies looking hard.

That certain glint upon cement, that blink of hidden wealth,

Put me in fine fettle and the very pink of health.

But now I’m roly poly and my avarice is hewn --

I wouldn’t stoop for anything, not even gold doubloon!

A televangelist’s flu-season advice:

‘Inoculate yourself with the word of God’

 from the Washington Post

You may have the faith to move a mountain, my dear child,

Or still the roaring lions out upon the jungle wild.

But just because the doctor and his needle make you yell

Is certainly no reason to ask him to go to hell.

God may be the master of the microbe and the germ,

But He made me your parent -- so I’m gonna be quite firm.

You’re getting vaccinated, and inoculated, too;

So hold your breath, my little saint, until you’re turning blue!

light on the mountains

light on the mountains

jumps through the cold black branches

without any thought

Ledes & Limericks. Wednesday February 7 2018

The bizness plan for papers is to outsource all the chores

To sweat shop enterprises on exotic tropic shores.

When you outsource reporters and the photogs of the news

You get a cheaper story and homogenized world views.

Artisan reporting may be pricey, but at least

You know it comes directly from the belly of the beast!

I want to relax at the beach --

From worry to be out of reach.

To count ev’ry grain

In sunshine or rain,

And never to hear human speech.

It’s automated trading that done in the Wall Street mob --

Those crazy algorithms caused the toughest ones to sob.

As pension plans collapsed and cowards sold their mess of pottage,

The frenzy reached across the globe with super duper wattage.

But now financial seas are heaving less and less away --

Cuz Wall Street widgets want to toy with us another day . . .