Verses from Stories in the New York Times -- The World’s Oceans Are in Danger, Major Climate Change Report Warns -- A Love Letter to Canned Food -- Employer Health Insurance Is Increasingly Unaffordable, Study Finds.

One fish, two fish, no fish, few fish.

Dead fish, whew! fish, black fish, screw fish.

This one poisoned by phosphates.

That one swallows big lead weights.

Say! As all the oceans boil,

fish are floating up to spoil.

Tuna fish will cost much more

than a can of pickled boar!

Some are sick and some are weak,

and some great gobs of pus do leak.

What has happened to the shad?

Beats me, dude; go ask your dad.

Here are some by coral reef,

looking for some cool relief.

But the coral's white with smother.

Why is that? Go ask your mother!

@bradplumer

*************************************************

A can of peaches is to me

an evening's welcome grocery.

No muss, no fuss; just open and

add some cream to make it grand.

Pork and beans may sound mundane,

but they beat a quiche lorraine

when you're tired or too broke

to eat out like the richer folk.

A pantry full of cans is sweet

(and don't forget the pickled beet!)

@MelissaClark

************************************************

Employers who offer health care

are dwindling and pretty rare.

With premiums high

you might as well die,

as live homeless in a lawn chair.

@ReedAbelson

"Tain't funny, McGee . . . "

Verses from Stories in Today's Washington Post -- A steamy chat distracted an officer when she entered the wrong apartment and killed a man, prosecutors say -- A masterpiece hung above a woman’s hot plate for years. It could be worth millions. -- An acclaimed French chef is suing over a lost Michelin star. It all started with a cheesy allegation..

Let this cop's sad story be

part of our stored memory.

She was so consumed by lust

she became a bit nonplussed,

and distracted by the gloom

she did enter the wrong room.

When she saw a man inside,

she let loose -- the man, he died.

Sex with guns, if I may preach,

ought to stay out of our reach.

@britsham

************************************************

I wonder if that painting from the thrift store that I bought

is actually a Rembrandt that is really worth a lot.

Could it be that Claude Monet designed my coffee mug?

Jackson Pollock, I am sure, conceived my bedroom rug!

Oh, I am rich, so very rich, with all these artsy things,

that I am gonna start to wear top hats and diamond rings.

Appraisers, come and gaze in wonder at my miscellany --

then start the bidding at a million with a rich Bahraini!

@ReisThebault

*****************************************************

I haven't lost a single star from my own cooking shack.

Of course, it ain't too elegant and we don't serve cognac.

I open up a can of beans, add ketchup and hot sauce,

and come up with a dish that all my customers call 'boss.'

I give 'em lots of crackers to soak up the tallow grease,

and let 'em chow down all they want until they grow obese.

The secret to good cooking, as all French chefs ought to know,

is get your meat from Hormel and your spuds from Idaho!

@bellwak

"Social media is a bunch of jiggery-pokery!"

For they shall be comforted

And again, blessed are all they that mourn, for they shall be comforted

3 Nephi 12:4.

Mournful are the days of man, comfortless and bleak.

He struggles for momentum without fortitude, and weak.

But ev'ry sorrow we endure and ev'ry tear we shed

is swallowed up in Christ the Lord, our loving, living Head.

Anguish does not last for long when God his comfort shares,

and all who will believe in him are ransomed from their cares.

Verses from Stories in Today's New York Times -- Trump Blames Europe for His Delay of Ukraine Aid -- Orlando Officer Is Terminated After Arresting 6-Year-Olds -- Boris Johnson’s Suspension of Parliament Was Unlawful, U.K. Supreme Court Rules.

Miser Trump blames Europe for his petty pocketbook.

He thinks if he is generous he'll look just like a schnook.

He wants the other nations to cough up some dough right now,

otherwise Ukrainians will be light on their chow.

O miser Trump must you be cruel to poor and needy souls

who need their Uncle Sammy to prop up all their payrolls?

It's not like it is needed in the good ol' USA --

we've money coming out our ears and can't give it away!

@peterbakernyt

***************************************

Those dirty rotten children that infest our public streets;

such desperado infants are the criminal elites!

Making funny faces and then walking on the grass;

officers should hunt them down and lock 'em up en masse.

Such baby-faced delinquents do not fool me one small bit;

they'll stop at nothing and our cookie jars will take a hit!

@marielpadilla_

*****************************************************

Boris Johnson, as P.M.,

caused a lot of rude mayhem.

When the Parliament he shooed,

by the judges he was booed.

Little Boris, run away --

play despot some other day.

@MarkLandler

"I'd rather read a comic book."

Verses from Stories in Today's Washington Post -- Samsung’s Galaxy Fold is finally here. Handle with care. -- A revenge-seeking fitness expert created 369 fake Instagram accounts and staged a kidnapping -- An Iowa hog farmer said his wife fell on a corn rake. A jury ruled he used it to murder her.

I never knew I needed folding phones so desperately.

It seems my life is incomplete without one instantly.

I don't know where I'll get a couple thousand just right now;

guess I'll take a gambling trip way out to old Macao.

And when I hit the jackpot I will get a folding phone,

and give somebody DNA to make my folding clone!

@geoffreyfowler

***********************************************************

If Shakespeare were alive today he'd have a jolly time

cooking up some tragedies about our cyber crime.

Fantastic schemes by villains for revenge would be his plots,

tying up good nobles in great Instagramic knots.

Iago and foul Caliban upon a keyboard black

would work their awful mischief with their evil texting claque.

And Hamlet out on center stage would start his famous bleat

by furrowing his brow and asking: "To delete or not delete . . . "

@britsham  

**********************************************

A hog farmer, tired of strife,

stuck a corn rake in his wife.

The jury refused 

to think him abused,

and gave him from twenty to life.

@antoniafarzan  @kemettler

"No news is fake news."

The poor in spirit

 Yea, blessed are the poor in spirit who come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

3 Nephi 12:3

Come unto me is the Savior's refrain

to all who lack spirit and suffer in vain.

Beggars are we, with sore hearts and in rags;

our indigent souls full of meaningless brags. 

But when I embrace his great love as a child,

full blessings will come as my want is exiled!

Verses from Stories in the Washington Post -- Shut Down D.C.: ‘Climate rebels’ shut down intersections across the District -- She left a can of dry shampoo in her car. It blasted a hole through the roof. -- Trump says he is worthy of a Nobel Prize ‘for a lot of things’ — but isn’t treated fairly.

What do climate rebels want,

as their banners they do flaunt?

Cleaner air, no greenhouse gas?

Carbon footprints made of glass?

Are they real or are they fake?

(Me, I think they're part fruitcake.)

With the press they like to ham

(while they cause a traffic jam.)

While their motive may be pure,

hot air warms our globe for sure.

@justinwmmoyer  @rebtanhs  @postmetrogirl 

***********************************

Beauty aids are such a curse;

they only make things much more worse.

A homely face like mine defies

all lotions, creams, and compromise.

A can of dry shampoo to me

would really be insanity.

So girl, when you have fixed your car

shun aerosols for caviar!

@lateshiabeachum

************************************************

Give him medals, an award;

ANYTHING, so he's not bored!

He wants baubles to collect,

to display and to inspect?

Give him golden loving cup --

just as long as he shuts up.

Find a halo made of tin;

put it on his head to spin.

If he's busy taking bows,

no more chaos can he rouse . . . 

@WPJohnWagner

"Anybody who writes poetry should be arrested."

Verses from Headlines in the New York Times -- The Urgent Search for a Cyber Silver Bullet Against Iran -- Closing My Curtains for Xi Jinping and His Grand Parade -- Tour Operator Thomas Cook Collapses.

The soldiers in their barracks laze

as we approach the Cyber Days

when algorithms fight our wars

with nerds who fill up all our corps.

A virus placed with great aplomb

is better than an atom bomb.

We'll take Tehran without a shot,

cuz no gun can compete with bot.

@SangerNYT  @julianbarnes

**************************

Beijing loves a big parade

cuz it covers their charade

of free people marching to

democratic ballyhoo.

Marching puppets making show.

(Reminds me of Pinocchio.)

Western writers, please don't look;

we're afraid you'll cock a snook!

@HernandezJavier

************************************

A tourist from England did mutter:

"That Thomas Cook sure is a nutter

for stranding me where

the natives just stare

and offer me tea with yak butter."

@mwolgelenter

"Poetry never fed an orphan . . . "

Establishing Peace

. . .  and that which shall be written by the fruit of thy loins, and also that which shall be written by the fruit of the loins of Judah, shall grow together, unto the confounding of false doctrines and laying down of contentions, and establishing peace among the fruit of thy loins, and bringing them to the knowledge of their fathers in the latter days . . . 
2 Nephi 3:12

Peace and understanding in the latter days shall be

strengthened by the words of prophets as a legacy.

Studied and reflected on, the scriptures we have now

unite divided peoples and great insight do allow.

Real history's provided by the hand of Joseph Smith,

who God inspired with the truth and not a bit of myth.

The Bible, too, does chronicle much factual detail;

if heeded it provides a path away from schemes that fail.

Those who scorn the sacred news of ancient history

are merely froth upon the waves of wretched sophistry.

It’s a Fact: Mistakes Are Embarrassing the Publishing Industry. (NYT)

I like to scribble poetry; there isn't any stress

on whether someone wears a gown or just a simple dress.

And since it's free verse and surreal, there isn't any shame

when the typos multiply -- it's all part of my game.

Of course there isn't anyone who in their right mind pays

a single cent for any of my slapdash roundelays.