Saturday, February 8, 2020

R.I.P., Orson Bean.


Orson Bean, the free-spirited television, stage and film comedian who stepped out of his storybook life to found a progressive school, move to Australia, give away his possessions and wander around a turbulent America in the 1970s as a late-blooming hippie, was killed in a traffic accident on Friday in Venice, Calif. He was 91.
In 1964, Mr. Bean . . .  helped found the Sons of the Desert, an international fraternal organization devoted to the films and lives of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. Named for the duo’s 1933 movie, it has a Latin motto: “Duae tabulae rasae in quibus nihil scriptum est” (“Two blank slates on which nothing has been written”).
Robert D. McFadden. NYT.

Now above the mortal fray,
with Stan and Ollie he might stay --
for just an eon, and not more,
to see if they still make 'em roar;
for clowns in heaven, I've no doubt,
make angels with much laughter shout.
The devils, too, just might sneak in,
while Orson meets 'em with a grin!


And in him shall they glory

Image result for book of mormon

And thou shalt swear, The Lord liveth, in truth, in judgment, and in righteousness; and the nations shall bless themselves in him, and in him shall they glory.
Jeremiah 4:2

Alive in truth, the Lord commands
we break our sinful, doubting bands.
In righteousness shall nations rise
to praise his name unto the skies.
And I, in this exciting scene,
have but to keep my conscience clean,
and then with saints and wise men I
am counted as the Lord's ally.

Friday, February 7, 2020

Making Federal Buildings Beautiful Again.

Image result for buster keaton one week

The Trump administration is now considering a draft executive order, “Making Federal Buildings Beautiful Again,” that would direct the use of traditional or classical architectural styles for nearly all new federal buildings and renovations . . .   The order would take aim at various forms of modernism and seeks to undo the widely admired Design Excellence Program of the General Service Administration . . . The program’s director, David Insinga, resigned last week . . . 
Michael Kimmelman. NYT. 


Stretching forth his godlike hand,
Trump proclaims his great command:
When you build a Fed eyesore
build it like a big box store.
Make it broad and make it crass,
and don't skimp on the plexiglass!
It must twinkle in the night,
and use a lot of Samsonite.
Keep it strong and raise it tall --
just like my dreamy Border Wall!


Holy men that ye know not of

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 Wherefore, I will that all men shall repent, for all are under sin, except those which I have reserved unto myself, holy men that ye know not of.
Doctrine & Covenants. 49:8


As I study holy scripture, 
I find wonders all throughout.
Some of them are clear and simple;
others take a deeper route.
When the Lord sees fit to open
all the doors he now keeps sealed
seraphim will be our tutors
as all ignorance is healed!




Thursday, February 6, 2020

And ye shall eat in plenty

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 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.
Joel 2:26



Never shall I be ashamed
that the Lord of Hosts I named
in my prayers and daily talk,
in my thoughts and daily walk.
Plenteous my life has been,
saved from sorrow and from sin
by thy wondrous hand, O King --
thou who makes my heart to sing.
Tribute to thy name is sweet,
altogether just and meet.




Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Google now has mapped the world.





Google Maps, Apple Maps and Waze have done their share of shaping society since coming to smartphones in the early 2000s. In trying to help drivers get around faster, they’ve transformed once-quiet residential streets into bustling cut-through routes. They also may have made overall traffic worse, burdening some routes with congestion they weren’t built to support, some researchers say.
Brittany Shammas. Washington Post.
Google now has mapped the world;
there is no place to hide --
no matter if you're in Nepal
or on the River Clyde.
The satellites will spot you
and transmit locality;
the whole world then can track you
as you swig some cheap Chablis.
But I think I can fool 'em
and elude their broad dragnet 
by dressing up in spinach
with a little vinaigrette.
They'll think I am a salad
and ignore me like a shrub
(unless,of course, I'm spotted
by somebody like Grubhub!) 





China Prescribes Buffalo Horn for the Coronavirus.

Image result for chinese dragon"

As it races to treat patients infected with the new coronavirus, the Chinese government is seeing potential in a cocktail of antiviral drugs. It is also recommending the Peaceful Palace Bovine Pill, a traditional Chinese medicine made with the gallstone of cattle, buffalo horn, jasmine and pearl.
Sui-Lee Wee. NYT. 

When you're feeling seedy and you don't know what to do,
take a little rhino horn to keep away the flu.
Over there in China all the doctors recommend
jello from a donkey hide infused with urine blend.
Penis tea (from deer, of course) with bits of ground up pearl
will make Coronavirus start to wither up and curl.
Cocklebur emulsion will soon have you in the pink;
along with ginkgo seedlings and perhaps the kitchen sink.
Take cinnabar for palsy, and for cramps and sneezing fits.
Try a bite of seahorse when your body's on the fritz.
Those Chinese doctors know their stuff, when fungus you require;
otherwise I'd have to say their treatments are too dire.

A better world is coming

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Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world . . . 
Ether 12:4

A better world is coming, I can feel it in my bones.
Proclaimed by all of nature, even to the very stones.
Belief in God is spreading, though old Scratch still rages on.
A surer hope arises, like an effervescent dawn.
Strengthen my belief, O Lord, and help me when I stumble;
my world becomes a fitter place when I stay sharp yet humble.