Restaurant Review: Rice King. Provo, Utah.

SPOILER ALERT: I am becoming more and more disenchanted with Chinese American cuisine. The last time I had an authentic Chinese meal was in Bangkok, about 7 years ago. Since then I have sampled nothing but American versions of Chinese dishes prepared by overworked possibly illegal aliens who think frying in rancid oil improves the flavor of everything from gristly pork to shoe laces masquerading as noodles.

Okay, I got that off my chest.

Rice King is on Center Street in downtown Provo. When I was working for Nomen Global down the street I dropped into Rice King several times for their $7.89 lunch specials. But now that I have retired from the hurly-burly of the workaday world and can devote myself to literary maundering about cuisines, I decided to order from under the column marked 'Chef's Specials'.

The place, by the way, is so narrow that you cannot go inside and say "Fried Rice" -- you are only able to manage "Stewed Prunes". And I think I would have been better off ordered stewed prunes.

I ordered the mu shoo pork. Here it is:

It came with thin cold pancakes, which were tough and flavorless, so I ordered some white steamed rice. It came in an open bowl with no cover, so before I could finish my lusterless meal it also was stone cold. The mu shoo was nothing but stir fried cole slaw -- all cabbage and grated carrots, with nary a whisper of a mushroom. The whole shebang, mu shoo, pancakes, rice, hot and sour soup, came to $10.29. I'm not recommending it. I give the place Two Burps.
But what do I know? While I struggled to get down my drudge a half dozen people came in for big  takeout orders. So the place is popular. Go figure.