Splitting hairs is kosher, but you better watch your step
If human hairs you do intend to ever pluck and schlep.
Women do not like to have their private property
Picked like common cotton and displayed for all to see.
If you’re caught with evidence of hirsute turpitude
You’re jugged, and bread and water is your only prison food.
So heed this earnest warning -- if you want a locket strand,
Use a wig, me bucko, so you never will be canned.
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