Who's on First? by Piet Mondrian. c. 1944.
Every child starts out a genius. It is the responsibility of the adult world to crush their spirit of inquiry and extinguish every spark of genius before that spark helps them escape the inevitable banality of this world and gives them mad and unstoppable strength.
Such was the intended fate of Piet Mondrian, who was scheduled to become a Postal Inspector by his parents in Holland, but who instead made the daring leap from childhood prodigy to adult genius -- and never looked back. Although he always did have a fondness for rubber stamps.
Mondrian first came to the attention of the art world in 1912, when he unveiled his surrealist masterpiece "Kumquats Anonymous." It was so bizarre that it caused soccer riots in Argentina and minor flooding in the Grampian Hills. The interlocking pieces of cinnabar and darning needles clearly indicated a mind and spirit that were done with ordinary reality and ready to enter the Twinkie Zone (that's five miles past the Twilight Zone.)
The painting was destroyed during the First World War when German troops mistook it for a walrus and shot it for the ivory.
During the Twenties and Thirties Mondrian began his reductionist phase of painting -- eventually eliminating everything from his canvas but a few black lines and primary colors. Then he forged ahead and got rid of the lines and colors as well. His blank canvases sell for astronomical prices.
He married Elizabeth Taylor in 1951, and they had 3 boys and 2 girls before they divorced in 1952. (They both took vitamins.)
At his death in 1949 his widow had not yet been named. Most of his work is now housed in the Donnan Arena of Edmonton. Don't buy the hot dogs -- they stink.
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