Roundup Sellers Boost Advertising as Lawsuits Sprout for Weedkiller

Roundup is getting an advertising boost after thousands of plaintiffs have alleged that the world’s most widely used weedkiller causes cancer.

Bayer AG, the manufacturer of Roundup, and Scotts Miracle-Gro Co. , which markets it to home-and-garden retailers in the U.S., have spent millions of dollars this year on expanded marketing for the weedkiller, Scotts executives said.    WSJ

Roundup is a wonder drug that kills not only weeds

but also tells the diff'rence tween the Persians and the Medes.

Pour a little on your hair and it will sprout anew.

Give your cat a little taste and it will roar, not mew.

Brush your teeth with just a dab for whiteness, glory be!

Spray it on your PC and your Netflix will be free.

Put some in your gas tank and your Nissan will ignite,

passing ev'ry cop car and then running each red light.

Of course exposure, if prolonged, can eat away your nose;

but by then you'd better start in counting all your toes . . .