Verses from newspaper stories by Philip Rucker, Katie Mettler, and Joe Heim.

IS THE PRESIDENT WORKING HARD, OR HARDLY WORKING?

@PhilipRucker

When you're in a pickle

and you want to wiggle out,

just look very busy 

and then travel all about.

Voters will think "What a guy!"

and cut you lots of slack;

giving you the cover to

stab others in the back.

When it has blown over

and the mob is backing down,

then relax and go back to

the antics of a clown.

*******************************

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER BIGGEST BLACK HOLE EVER.

@kemettler

Black holes getting bigger,

comets whizzing through the sky;

seems like it's the End of Times --

yet I don't want to cry.

Even with impeachment

looming like the Crack of Doom,

I'm thinking new recliners

for my cozy living room.

Why let cosmic anarchy

destroy my comfort zone?

Life keeps getting better,

now my pizza comes by drone!

****************************

LEWIS AND CLARK STATUE TO BE PULLED DOWN.

@JoeHeim

Statues used to hang around

for centuries, at least;

nowadays they slip away

as if they had been greased.

Warriors, explorers, and 

a host of others, too,

are deemed to be insensitive

and must go toodle-loo.

If I commissioned statues

I would only order those

impressionistic gewgaws

that nobody will depose.