Verses from Today's Washington Post. ** A drunk man broke into her house. This 82-year-old bodybuilder ‘did a number’ on him, she says. ** Mired in trench warfare, Trump makes up poll numbers that show him winning handily. ** Mike Bloomberg just stabbed the journalistic heart of his news organization.

@kemettler

Ber-ger-lers, I warn you fair:

Don't break into my house and glare.

I ain't afeard of any creep

who thinks that he can make me weep.

Step one foot in, my foolish friend,

and you are bound to meet your end.

I'll bat you with my walking aid;

then smother you with some brocade.

My dentures will bite off your nose;

with prune juice I will douse your clothes.

And when you're down and out I'll tip

into you Super Poligrip.

So beat it, punk -- or you may be

subject to colonoscopy.

*****************************

@pbump

No one figures polls are real,

despite apparent mass appeal.

So if the Prez decides to fudge,

who are we to really judge?

My polls show a steady trend

for candidates to all pretend.

A grain of salt will not suffice

to balance statements imprecise.

He who steals a poll steals trash,

not worth an ounce of balderdash.

************************

@Sulliview

Bloomberg has more writers than

bed sheets at the Ku Klux Klan.

They've been told to choke their pens

when it comes to Mike and friends.

His reporters who rebel

and the truth attempt to tell

will find pink slips raining down

like confetti on a clown . . .